As I said in Part One, skulls, and pieces of skulls, are very important…no more so than in Christianity. Being so fond of relics, I will indulge in a brief show-and-tell.   

John the Baptist; Mary Magdalene; Sir Oliver Plunkett; and Thomas of Hereford.

St. Valentine; Ives of Kermartin; Blessed Father Gerard; and John Chrysostom.

Saint Helena; Saint Remaclus; Saint Wenceslaus of Bohemia; and Simon of Sudbury.

Unknown nun; Catharine of Bologna; Catherine of Siena; Sylvester; and Felician.

Deodatus; Agnes; Benedictus; and Lawrence.

John Cassian; Aubert; Clari; and Peter the Martyr.

Yres; Thomas Aquinas; Vitallis of Assisi; and Brebeuf.

Stephana; Gregory the Aramean; Rosa; and Anne.

Theodore the Martyr; Theodore of Tyro; Simplicius; and Ambrose Barlow.

Christina; Leontius; and John Lloyd & Philip Evans.

Why have just one skull…and we all know that two skulls are better than one? You could have…tens of thousands of skulls…

…Locations: Athos; Santa Maria della Concezione; and Hallstat.

Locations: Metora and Neamt.

Locations: Otranto; St. Catherine’s Monastery; and Sedlec.

In reality, there are numerous churches in Christendom that maintain large stockpiles of skulls and other bones, though…speaking for myself…I prefer to see the deceased laid to rest in their owns graves, not piled up on the floor. Did you say…Otranto? Thanks for reminding me…

On the left… the strangest skull among the approximately 800 currently filling the ossuary chapel of the Cathedral of Otranto. Yes, it has been drilled…but why? Trepanation, drilling holes in peoples’ heads was an ancient medical practice. However, in the case of the Drilled Skull of Otronto…the drilling was done to obtain skull-dusk, something used in medieval pharmacology to treat…Yes! Headaches. Still, I need trepanation like a hole in the head.

But! Now for an amazingly strange story, and one that offers a bizarre twist on the Virgin Myth, which I have been writing about in the Search for the Panther serial essay. Here she is!

Horrid, you say? In 1742, Sister Josephine Rosenthal became pregnant. Now modern science has figured out what causes this. However, a pregnant nun presents a problem. Josephine was examined, and it was declared that she was still a virgin. The abbot investigated the case, and Josephine was examined for a second time. The result? It was declared that Josephine was, in fact, a virgin whose daughter Maria had therefore undergone an immaculate conception, and the child would therefore be the result of a virgin birth. Josephine had been born in the nursery, wait…the nunnery, and grew up there. The only male she had ever had contact with was the abbot. Oops! But Bishop Dosetheus bought into the whole thing and transferred Josephine to a chapel. Maria Rosenthal was born eight months later, with Josephine dying in childbirth.  And the nuns! Josephine was the vessel of the second coming of Christ, and they essentially deified her, and inevitably worshipped her…the Holy Congregation of Maria was born. Maria supposedly died at the age of 33, having given birth to a child herself…some apples don’t fall far from the tree. But after her death her cult continued, and her relics were revered. In 1905, the relics were examined, and found to include her face and part of her skull, a vial of her blood, a lock of her hair wrapped up in gold-leaf vessel, and a torn page from a book she had written. But such a bizarre story couldn’t end with that. A very obvious problem still existed…the church believed for centuries, and would continue to believe, that there was only ever one virgin birth…that of Christ. So what can one do? Well, you could simply believe the reality of the situation, i.e. Josephine and Maria weren’t really cut out for celibacy. These transgressions were covered up, but in a way that the Catholic church adamantly, and rightly, declared such claims to be blasphemous. So! Sometime in the 1950s, the blood and hair of the Lady in the Box were tested. The result? It was a tricky thing…Josephine simply couldn’t be accused of engaging in sexual intercourse. Why? That would have people looking at the abbot, and perhaps other men within the church, as the father. Occam’s Razor cuts deep. So a very bold way out of this problem was found…Josephine and Maria were declared to be hermaphrodites who could spontaneously self-impregnate themselves! That’s hundreds of years of theological back-flips in order to avoid saying that Sister Josephine, and then Maria, had strayed a little. However, that said, the story can’t end there. If you don’t buy the virgin birth nonsense, or the self-impregnating hermaphrodite baloney, you could always claim that…Josephine, and consequently Maria, were demon-possessed.

The question of jumping from a mountain and landing safely, a power attributed to Simon Magus, is one that is particularly interesting, because, in the end, the reason for this miraculous ability being attributed him will become clear. There is the story of…

…Daedalus. He was a renowned architect and craftsman, known primarily for being the father of Icarus and building the labyrinth where the Minotaur was imprisoned. Everyone knows what happened to…

…Icarus. Daedalus made the wings that Icarus used to fly. But they were held together with wax, and when he got too close to the sun, the wax melted, and Icarus plunged to his death. So much for Daedalian Wings. But there is another element of the Daedalus story that is rather bizarre…

Daedalus had a nephew named Perdix, sometimes referred to as Talus. As it turned out, Perdix was also an inventor, and fearing that his nephew’s inventions would outdo his own, Daedalus threw Perdix off a roof. And that’s not nice. But just before Perdix hit the ground, Athena intervened, turning him into a bird, thus saving his life.

A bout of unsuccessful soaring across the sky is also attributed to…

…Lucifer…also known as…Phosphorus…and Helel ben-Shohar. He flew to heaven to take what he thought was his rightful place as the god-man. I have written about Lucifer numerous times on this website. He is not Satan…he was a mortal man…a king…who I’ve associated with the building the Great Pyramid at Giza. But there are strange twists to this topic that are interesting, to say the least. Falling from a great height, or out a window, can be survivable in many ways…

…Eutychus…

On the first day of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight. There were many lamps in the upstairs room where we were meeting. Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was found to be dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!” Then he went upstairs again and broke bread and ate. After talking until daylight, he left. The people took the young man home alive and were greatly comforted.

 Acts 20: 7-12. Well, I suppose all kids find church to be rather boring. So Eutychus falls from the window, dies, and is brought back to life. And I love the less-than-subtle claim that Paul simply talked too much.

Children must be careful!

No, that’s not Perdix. Still, an unnamed child falls from a balcony, but before he crashes to the street below, St. Augustine swoops down from heaven and catches him.

Sometimes exiting through a window is a good thing…

Saul sent men to David’s house to watch it and to kill him in the morning. But Michal, David’s wife, warned him, “If you don’t run for your life tonight, tomorrow you’ll be killed.” So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped. 

And we can’t forget a most unforgettable lady…

Rahab the Harlot…

Then Joshua, son of Nun, secretly sent two spies from Shittim. “Go, look over the land,” he said, “especially Jericho.” So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there.

The king of Jericho was told, “Look, some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land.” So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: “Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land.”

But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, they left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.” 

Joshua 2: 1-5. I will forego questioning why Rahab has to be a harlot. There is a tendency to denigrate heroic women in the Bible, most notably Mary Magdalen and Joanna. However, it turns out that Rehab hid the spies under stalks of flax on the roof of her house.

So she let them down by a rope through the window, for the house she lived in was part of the city wall. She said to them, “Go to the hills so your enemies will not find you. Hide yourselves there for three days until they return, and then go on your way.”

1 Samuel 19: 11-13. Sometimes you get a little help…but it’s not the kind you necessarily want…

Then Jehu went to Jezreel. When Jezebel heard about it, she put on eye makeup, arranged her hair and looked out of a window. As Jehu entered the gate, she asked, “Have you come in peace, you Zimri, you murderer of your master?”

He looked up at the window and called out, “Who is on my side? Who?” Two or three eunuchs looked down at him. “Throw her down!” Jehu said. So they threw her down, and some of her blood spattered the wall and the horses as they trampled her underfoot.

2 Kings 9: 30-33. And so Jezebel met her fate by being pushed out of a window, but unlike Happy Eutychus, who promised me that he would pay closer attention in church now, no one was to raise her from the dead.

Sometimes you’re just a buffoon…

Now Ahaziah had fallen through the lattice of his upper room in Samaria and injured himself. So he sent messengers, saying to them, “Go and consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron, to see if I will recover from this injury.”

2 Kings 1:2. This is a passage I have discussed many times on this website. Baal-Zebub means…Lord of Flies, or…Lord of Filth. The god in question is simply Baal, or Hadad, and Zebub (flies, filth)was added to his name as an denegration. He will be mentionned again in the New Testament as…Beelzebub, who is not a demon…he is a Canaanite deity.

Elijah told the king, “This is what the Lord says: Is it because there is no God in Israel for you to consult that you have sent messengers to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron? Because you have done this, you will never leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!”  So he died, according to the word of the Lord that Elijah had spoken.

2 Kings 1: 16-17.

It is sad when children fall through a window or from a roof. But there is a tendency for the child in question to be saved in some way. St. Augustine caught the unnamed boy that fell out of the window. Eutychus was raised from the dead. And there is a good parallel to this…

Now after certain days Jesus was playing in the upper story of a certain house, and one of the young children that played with him fell down from the house and died. And the other children when they saw it fled, and Jesus remained alone. And the parents of him that was dead came and accused him that he had cast him down. And Jesus said: I didn’t push him, but they reviled him still. Then Jesus leaped down from the roof and stood by the body of the child and cried with a loud voice and said: Zeno (for so was his name), arise and tell me, did I cast thee down? And straightway he arose and said: Nay, Lord, thou didst not cast me down, but didst raise me up. And when they saw it they were amazed: and the parents of the child glorified God for the sign which had come to pass, and worshipped Jesus.

Infancy Gospel of Thomas: IX. It would seem that the cause of Zeno’s fall from the roof is not exactly clear. Nonetheless, everyone believed that Jesus pushed Zeno off the roof. Jesus brought Zeno back from the dead, but it would seem he only did so to avoid getting in trouble for being naughty and killing Zeno. The two images provided above would seem to tell two different stories. The image to the left has Jesus standing on the roof as Zeno falls to his temporary death, making Jesus susceptible to the accusation that he pushed him. The image on the right shows Jesus with his mother standing on the ground, and so the Little Terror could not have pushed him.

Sometimes…

…you might throw yourself from a cliff, and die on the rocks below. That is what Saint Pelagia, the Virgin Martyr of Antioch, did. She was believed to have lived in the late Third century. She died during the persecution unleashed by Diocletian, Galerius, and Mama Romula. When she was outed as a Christian, soldiers were sent to rape her. But she was a virgin and, not willing to lose her virginity, she hurled herself off a cliff. This was considered martyrdom, not suicide. It’s all just a matter of perspective, I suppose.

But the most important story is that of…

…James, first Bishop of Jerusalem, and full-brother of Jesus. I have written elsewhere on this site that I believe they had the same father. He’s also called James the Just to distinguish him from James the Less.

The manner of James' death has been already indicated by the above-quoted words of Clement, who records that he was thrown from the pinnacle of the temple, and was beaten to death with a club. 

Source…Eusebius, The Martyrdom of James, who was Called the Brother of the Lord: III

Therefore when many of the rulers believed, there was a commotion among the Jews and Scribes and Pharisees, who said that there was danger that the whole people would be looking for Jesus as the Christ. Coming, therefore, as a group to James they said, We entreat thee, restrain the people; for they have gone astray in regard to Jesus, as if he were the Christ. We entreat thee to persuade all that have come to the feast of the Passover concerning Jesus; for we all have confidence in you. For we bear witness, as do all the people, that you are just.

Therefore persuade the multitude not to be led astray concerning Jesus. For the whole people, and all of us also, have confidence in you. Stand therefore upon the pinnacle of the temple, so that from that high position you may be clearly seen, and that your words may be readily heard by all the people. For all the tribes, with the Gentiles also, have come together on account of the Passover.

These Scribes and Pharisees therefore led James up to the pinnacle of the temple, and cried out to him and said: O just one, in whom we ought all to have confidence, forasmuch as the people are led astray after Jesus, the crucified one, declare to us, what is the gate of Jesus.

Of course, James would not do what the Jewish leaders demanded of him. But he was standing on the roof of the Temple.

So they went up and pushed the just man off the roof of the temple, and said to each other, Let us stone James the Just. And they began to stone him, for he was not killed by the fall; but he turned and knelt down and said, I entreat thee, Lord God our Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

And while they were thus stoning him one of the priests of the sons of Rechab, the son of the Rechabites, who are mentioned by Jeremiah the prophet, cried out, saying, Stop! What do ye? The just one has prayed for you.

And one of them, who was a fuller, took the club with which he beat out clothes and struck the just man on the head. And thus he suffered martyrdom.

So James survived the fall from the roof of the Temple. But, apparently, he also survived the stoning, and only died after being beaten with a club. It is believed that the Second Temple was 150 feet in height. Now that’s no mountain, but one could only survive a fall from such a height by God’s intervention.

The claim that Simon Magus could do such a feat is probably meant to indicate the belief in early Christianity that Simon was in league with the devil…

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
    and they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

And as we know, Jesus refused to prove his divinity by jumping off the roof of the Temple, although his brother would plunge from the roof of the temple, but in that case, he was pushed. Zeno, anyone?

I think there is more evidence that Simon Magus was credited with magical acts that refer back to the temptation of Christ. Simon was said to be able to turn stones into bread…

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Matthew 4: 1-4. So the act of turning stones into bread is an act associated with the temptation of Christ. However, bread miracles are fairly common. In the Eucharist, the bread becomes the body of Christ. There is also the miracle of Lanciano in the Eighth century. There was a priest-monk who had doubts about the idea of transubstantiation…whereby the Eucharistic bread becomes the body of Christ. As he celebrated the Eucharistic, he witnessed the bread turn into actual flesh.

As shown above, portions of that bread are maintained as a relic with its own reliquary in the Church of St. Francis in Lanciano. The same is attributed to…

…Pope Saint Gregory the Great.

 It happed that a widow brought hosts every Sunday for the priest to celebrate Mass with … when Saint Gregory was about to give to her the holy sacrament in saying, May the body of our Lord Jesus Christ keep you into everlasting life …this woman began to laugh at Saint Gregory, and he withdrew his hand, and placed the sacrament upon the altar. And he asked her, before the people, why she laughed, and she said: Because the bread that I have made with my proper hands, you call the body of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Saint Gregory put himself to prayer with the people, to pray to God that hereupon he would show his grace to confirm our belief, and when they were risen from prayer, Saint Gregory saw the holy sacrament in figure of a piece of flesh as great as the little finger of a hand, and by the prayers of Saint Gregory, the flesh of the sacrament turned into the appearance of bread as it had been before, and therewith he gave communion to the woman, who afterwards was more religious, and the people more firm in the faith.

Then Christ appeared on the altar, squirting blood into the wine chalice. At least it’s not the Virgin Mary’s breastmilk. And I bet you thought I was going to forget about…

…St. Elizabeth of Portugal. She frequently distributed bread to the poor. One day the family of her husband, Ludwig IV of Thuringia, forbade her to do this. Undeterred, she would sneak out and go to the town to deliver the much needed bread. When the king caught her, he demanded to know what she was carrying in her mantle. Opening it up, the bread had turned into roses.

There were other bread-type miracles…

St. Dominic made angels appear who gave bread to him and his hungry companions. St. John Villaney supposedly multiplied grain. St. Gerard Majella multiplied bread which he gave to the poor.

When St. Roch was ill and starving, a dog suddenly appeared, bringing him bread. St. Catherine of Siena, whose relationship to Christ is somewhat controversial, was confronted by a scenario in which bread was to be distributed to the poor. But the only wheat available was old and moldy. St. Catherine instructed that bread be made using the lousy wheat. Soon, perfect bread in large quantities began to appear from the baker’s oven.

The references for turning stones to bread are linked to Simon Magus, and one of the temptations of Christ. The reason for Simon’s turning-stones-into-bread is to link him to the devil, or so it would seem. But if Simon could jump off a mountain and land without getting hurt…how did he do it?

…probably not. But it is never stated that Simon couldn’t fly…just that he did so by the power of the devil. So maybe he just flew off the mountain…but I was out of town that day, so I can’t say for sure.  And I must say that I would prefer my sandwich to be made from Simon’s Stony Bread than anything that comes out of the Bread-basket of Epiphanius.

But is Simon Magus the only one to do magic stuff with fire? Meet…

…St. Blaan of Scotland.

 One day while worshippers were busy psalm-singing, the fires, which were left in charge of Blaan, all went out. He, wishing no one to incur the blame of the saint, offered up prayer, whereupon fire sparkled from his finger-tips like flashes from a flint when it is struck.

Pretty cool trick! I’m sure you know…

Christina Mirabilis…Christina the Astonishing! She would throw herself into burning ovens, and stay there for long periods of time. And although you could hear her screaming, when she emerged, she wasn’t burned in the slightest. But! She would also throw herself into icy rivers, and emerge from the freezing waters without so much as a cold. Time for…

…St. Lasair, another Celtic saint, remained in her burning church, chanting the Psalms, and was impervious to the fire. It’s only fitting that a fire-saint should have her own well too...in case she changes her mind. I would be remiss not to mention…

…Good St. Polycarp (69-155 A.D), Bishop of Smyrna. In some traditions, he was a disciple of John the Apostle, while other traditions hold that he was a friend of Papias. I’ve discussed Papias in previous essays, where I noted that he was so unimpressed by the Christian literature floating around at the time, that he did the truly sensible thing, and went to find someone who had known Christ or one of the apostles. He found Aristion and John Presbyter, who is not the same as John the Apostle or John of Patmos, and learned from Aristion, a follower of Peter, that the Gospel of Mark was written under the direction of the Guy With The Keys To The Kingdom. During an outbreak of persecution, the aged Polycarp was murdered for his refusal to renounce Christ. But a strange thing happened…

When he had pronounced his amen, and so finished his prayer, those who were appointed for the purpose kindled the fire. And as the flame blazed forth in great fury, we, to whom it was given to witness it, beheld a great miracle, and this has been preserved so that we might share with others what happened. For the fire, shaping itself into the form of an arch, like the sail of a ship when filled with the wind, encompassed as by a circle the body of the martyr. And he appeared within not like flesh which is burnt, but as bread that is baked, or as gold and silver glowing in a furnace. Moreover, we perceived such a sweet odor coming from the pile, as if frankincense or some such precious spices had been smoking there.

The Martyrdom of Polycarp, chapter 15. And you thought that I’d forget Polycarp and His Fire Magic Trick! Hah! Not many people who are set on fire smell like perfume, or freshly-baked home-made bread. I got a little help from…

…Darla, who reminded me about…

St. Cecilia…famous for many things, but particularly her musical talents. The dates she lived are not certain, with a wide range of 100-300 A.D. possible. However, she may have died are 230 A.D. during the reign of Alexander Severus…who was not a persecutor, or 180 A.D. during the reign of Commodus…who hated everybody. However, like all good female saints, she was a virgin…that’s a must…and martyred…that’s a must too. When the prefect Turcius Almachius ordered that Cecilia be burned alive…yes! She was impervious to the fire, so she was beheaded instead. I promised Darla that I wouldn’t forget her favorite saint…

I’m sure you can guess why St. Lucy is Darla’s favorite saint! Yes! Darla says that any saint who walks around with her eyeballs on a plate is pretty cool. But so too are all the saints who walked around with their severed heads in their hands. Lucy refused to sacrifice to a statue of the Roman emperor, so she was ordered to be killed. She was first ordered to …work in a cat-house, something that purportedly happen to St. Agnes as well, although I’m sure that didn’t work out as her persecutors intended. Then her eyeballs were gouged out. When they attempted to burn her to death, they found that she was impervious to the fire, so she was finally stabbed in the neck with a dagger.

St. Ita (490-570 A.D.) When Ita was a child…

One day, while Ita was asleep in her room the whole place seemed to be on fire. When her neighbors came to give assistance, however, the fire in her room seemed to have been extinguished. All marveled at that, and it was said that it was the grace of God that burned about Ita as she slept. When she arose from her sleep, her whole appearance seemed to be angelic, for she had beauty that has never been seen before or since. Her appearance was such that it was the grace of God that burned about her. After a short interval, her original appearance returned, which certainly was beautiful enough.

Ok, so she was a good-looking kid. The same story was told of…

…St. Brigid of Kildare, Ireland. In Celtic mythology, the goddess…

…Brigid, goddess of many things, such as fertility, but she also had her own fire temple…

…in which an eternal flame was kept. St. Brigit of Ireland was an influential nun who built a monastery and church on the site of Brigid’s ancient temple. She and 19 nuns kept the eternal flame of Brigid burning until the Protestant Reformation. It was relit in 1993. And although the goddess Brigid and St. Brigid appear to be conflated, the popular saint continues to be closely associated with the eternal fire of the goddess Brigid. The tradition of women as keepers of sacred fire was also prevalent in Ancient Rome. Some of the most important Roman priestesses were the…

…Vestal Virgins, who maintained the eternal flame in the temple of Vesta, goddess of hearth and home, representing the timelessness of the Roman empire. There were six such priestesses, performing rituals reserved only for women. They were consecrated to this important task during the reign of the Roman king Numa Pompilius (715-672 B.C.), and they continued to maintain the Holy Fire until 382 A.D., after the Roman emperor…

…Gratian, decided that he wanted to steal their money, and it looks as though he paid through the nose for doing so.

St. Agnes…cute as a button…was also martyred. First she was taken to a brothel, a tradition strangely told of St. Lucy as well, but then they attempted to burn her alive. Yes, she wouldn’t burn. In a twist…

…St. Florian (250-305 A.D.), commander of the Roman forces in Noricum (Austria), and organizer of firefighting brigade, refused to carry out Diocletian’s persecution of Christians in his district. As you can imagine, this didn’t go over very well. It was originally ordered that he be burned to death. After the pyre was made, Florian strangely jumped on top of it, and dared the persecutors to light it, promising to walk out of the fire. A fire-miracle for sure? No. The Romans decided against this challenge, and went the completely opposite way, drowning Florian in a river after putting a millstone around his neck. Florian is the patron saint of firefighters and chimney sweeps.

A good saint never loses his sense of humor, even when he is being…

…being roasted on a grill. Or so thought St. Lawrence (225-258 A.D.). His death was ordered by the emperor Valerian, who would end up in the hands of the Parthian king, who had him flayed, his skin stuffed with straw, and put on display in a temple. Valerian, in his rage against Christianity, ordered that Lawrence be roasted alive. As this was being carried out, he famously declared…

I’m well done on this side! Turn me over!

And so Lawrence is, rather morbidly, the patron saint of cooks and chefs. A grill is one way to roast a saint. Another way is to…

To the angel of the church in Pergamum write:

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. I know where you live—where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, not even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city—where Satan lives.

Revelation 2: 12-17. This Antipas was bishop of Pergamum during the reign of Nero…of course. The bishop angered the local pagan clerics when they saw that Antipas was converting many of the people to Christianity. When confronted about this, he told the priests that he was only getting started…I paraphrase. They had built a large, copper bull…that was heated until it was red hot, and then threw Antipas into it. He was heard praying, and thanking the Lord for his peaceful death. Later that night, his body was taken out of the bull, and behold! His body showed no signs of being damaged by fire or roasting. And so he is the patron saint of…toothaches. Maybe he had bad teeth.

Fire-miracles can be somewhat creative. Meet…

St. Romanus, Bishop of Caesarea (late third century). He was arrested during the persecution of Diocletian, Galerius, and Mama Romula, and martyred in 304 A.D. Originally, the plan was to burn him alive. After he was bound to the stake, several attempts were made to light him on fire. But each time, rain fell from the sky, putting out the fire. So he was taken to Galerius the Beast, who had him tortured and strangled.

When the messengers returned to the king, he asked them, “Why have you come back?”

“A man came to meet us,” they replied. “And he said to us, ‘Go back to the king who sent you and tell him, “This is what the Lord says: Is it because there is no God in Israel that you are sending messengers to consult Baal-Zebub, the god of Ekron? Therefore you will not leave the bed you are lying on. You will certainly die!”’”

The king asked them, “What kind of man was it who came to meet you and told you this?”

They replied, “He had a garment of hair and had a leather belt around his waist.”

The king said, “That was Elijah the Tishbite.”

Then he sent to Elijah a captain with his company of fifty men. The captain went up to Elijah, who was sitting on the top of a hill, and said to him, “Man of God, the king says, ‘Come down!’”

Elijah answered the captain, “If I am a man of God, may fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty men!” Then fire fell from heaven and consumed the captain and his men.

At this the king sent to Elijah another captain with his fifty men. The captain said to him, “Man of God, this is what the king says, ‘Come down at once!’”

“If I am a man of God,” Elijah replied, “may fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty men!” Then the fire of God fell from heaven and consumed him and his fifty men.

2 Kings 1: 5-12. However, the greatest fire-miracle is…

Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace. So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”

They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”

He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

Daniel Chapter 3. Apparently, fire-miracles, in whatever form, are somewhat common. And so Simon Magus stands in good company. When is a fire-miracle done by the power of God? When is a fire-miracle an act of sorcery? It all depends on your agenda.

One of the powers attributed to Simon Magus was making and unmaking kings, seeing how there are no known kings that owed their position to him. Although tradition states that he was a friend of the emperor Nero, the latter did not owe anything to Simon as far as being emperor is concerned. So this claim is bizarre to say the least. However, with that being said, it is worth a quick discussion about the role of religious leaders in the role of making and unmaking kings. One must begin with…

…Saul. Making a king, Samuel…

…annoints Saul as Israel’s first king.

So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.”

But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord. And the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”

1 Samuel 8: 1-9.

There was a Benjamite, a man of standing, whose name was Kish son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Bekorath, the son of Aphiah of Benjamin. Kish had a son named Saul, as handsome a young man as could be found anywhere in Israel, and he was a head taller than anyone else.

1 Samuel 9: 1-2. So…

Then Samuel took a flask of olive oil and poured it on Saul’s head and kissed him, saying, “Has not the Lord anointed you ruler over his inheritance?

1 Samuel 10:1.

One of the interesting things here is the reason why the Israelites wanted a king. As along as Samuel was the national leader, the people were content. But Samuel was old, and his two sons’ wickedness precluded their right to rule, though Samuel appointed them as his successors anyway. Samuel must have known about the immorality of his sons, so it hard to understand why Great Samuel didn’t address this situation. So in a certain sense, the Israelites were somewhat right to demand a king. The era of rule by judges was over, and there was continual chaos and anarchy during the time of the judges. This left the political situation unresolved, and seeing that the people simply wouldn’t accept Samuel’s sons as their leaders, and who could blame them, there really was no alternative to fill the void of authority except by appointing a king. At that time, all nations were ruled by kings…there were no democracies other than that as Athens. Technically, Israel was a theocracy, as it had been under the high priest Eli, as long as Samuel held political power.

So a towering religious figure could make a king. But!

Samuel said to Saul, “I am the one the Lord sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the Lord. This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’”

1 Samuel 15: 1-3. I will refrain from moralizing about God demanding that children and infants be slaughtered beyond my belief that God could not have ordered this. Nonetheless, Saul and Samuel believed that Yahweh had given such orders.

Then Saul attacked the Amalekites all the way from Havilah to Shur, near the eastern border of Egypt. He took Agag king of the Amalekites alive, and all his people he totally destroyed with the sword. But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs—everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

Then the word of the Lord came to Samuel: “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.” Samuel was angry, and he cried out to the Lord all that night.

1 Samuel 15: 7-10.  I’m always surprised how some biblical writers seem to think that God is not omniscient. This is clearly found in the Gospel of the Young Jesus, and it appears to be the case here. One would expect Yahweh to be able see how Saul would let him down, before ordering Samuel to anoint Saul. And so now, disappointed, God rejects Saul.

Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned. I violated the Lord’s command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them. Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord.”

But Samuel said to him, “I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you as king over Israel!”

1 Samuel 15: 24-26.

Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “The Lord has not chosen this one either.” Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, “Nor has the Lord chosen this one.” Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, “The Lord has not chosen these.” So he asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”

Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”

So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.

Then the Lord said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.”

So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.

So, like Simon Magus, Samuel could make and unmake kings. The reign of Solomon was a disappointing one. He was a vassal of the King of Egypt, and late in his reign, he withheld paying tribute. King Sheshonq would eventually right this wrong by invading Judah, overrunning all its territories, except Jerusalem. Then King Rehoboam, son and successor of Solomon, paid Sheshonq was owed, and the Egyptian king left. Solomon is known for his building projects, and specifically his use of forced labor. It’s too bad that Samuel wasn’t around to say…I told you so! Solomon also began heathenizing the religion of Judah with foreign deities. His manner of rule resulted in the rise of anti-Solomon insurgents, including Hadad, probably short for Hadadezer, or possibly Ben-Hadad, a prince of the Edomite royal family who escaped during the reign of David. And he became an agent of the Egyptian king, married an Egyptian queen, and later received permission to return to Edom, so as to wrest the Edomite kingdom from the Israelite overlord. It would appear than Hadad had first been taken to Midian. He then was taken to Paran, where troops supporting Edom joined him. The list of the kings of Edom is essentially a mystery to history. There doesn’t seem to have been Edomite dynasties, since the names of Edomite kings in the Old Testament show the succession of men who are sons of someone other than previous king, leading some commentators to label the royal system of government in Edom was an elective kingship. There were two known Edomite kings bearing the name Hadad, and if Hadad the Edomite was a royal prince, then he is related to an otherwise unattested Edomite king named Baal-hanan, since the list of known Edomite kings includes Hadad the Edomite as succeeding Baal-hanan, though the latter was dead while the former was a small child. As an adult, he had the all-important backing of Egypt, and he became a continual thorn in Solomon’s side.

Another enemy of Solomon was Rezon, son of Eliada. He had fallen out with Hadadezer, king of Zobah. After David’s war against Zobah, Rezon fled and raised a small army. He then took control of Damascus, whose kings would figure in the post-Solomonic period. Our Rezon is usually listed as Rezon I of Damascus. The Old Testament indicates that he was succeed by his son Tabrimmon, who was succeeded by his son Ben-Hadad I.

The most important enemy of Solomon was named Jeroboam ben-Nebat. He was an Ephraimite, and had been promoted to the leadership of Solomon’s slave labor force. All seemed to be going well, until…

About that time Jeroboam was going out of Jerusalem, and Ahijah the prophet of Shiloh met him on the way, wearing a new cloak. The two of them were alone out in the country, and Ahijah took hold of the new cloak he was wearing and tore it into twelve pieces. Then he said to Jeroboam, “Take ten pieces for yourself, for this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘See, I am going to tear the kingdom out of Solomon’s hand and give you ten tribes.

1 Kings 11: 29-31. When Solomon became aware of this…

Solomon tried to kill Jeroboam, but Jeroboam fled to Egypt, to Shishak the king, and stayed there until Solomon’s death.

1 Kings 11:40. So there’s a lot of important things here. First, Shesonq I of Egypt was clearly using anti-Solomonic leaders to fight a guerilla war against Israel, as he prepared for a full-scale invasion that would occur during the reign of Rehoboam, son of Solomon. Both Hadad the Edomite and Jeroboam, who would go on to lead Northern Israel out of the Davidic kingdom, resulting in two separate kingdoms, were backed by Egypt. Jeroboam and Rehoboam would war against one another. Here, there is supplemental information provided by the Septuagint, the ancient Greek translation of the Old Testament. It states that Jeroboam raised a force of 300 chariots, and seized control of Zeredah. It was at this time that he fled to Egypt, where he married Sheshonq’s sister-in-law, who bore him a son named Abijah. Abijah’s brother Nadab succeeded their father, only to be assassinated by Baasha after a reign of about two years. There is also the statement that Jeroboam’s mother was a prostitute, whereas the Hebrew version stated that his mother was a widow. So clearly the Greek version is simply taking a shot against Jeroboam by lying about his mother. The Greek version also states that the sister-in-law of the King of Egypt was named Ano, sister of Thekemina.

Who was Ahijah the Shilonite? He was a Levitical prophet. The book of Chronicles refer to a book called the Prophecy of Ahijah, which is a lost work. He is involved in two Biblical accounts, his encounter with Jeroboam, and then with Jeroboam’s wife. Their son, who was half-Egyptian…

…was ill. So Jeroboam sent his wife, instructing her to disguise herself so Ahijah wouldn’t know that she was his wife, did as she told. It didn’t go well, with Ahijah instantly recognizing her…

The biblical account of Jeroboam is problematic in two ways. First, it repeats the situation of King Saul…God came to regret making Saul king, and he would do so with Jeroboam as well. Both were anointed by a prophet, and then condemned by the same prophet. The main criticism of Jeroboam is found in 1 Kings 12: 28-29…

After seeking advice, the king made two golden calves. He said to the people, “It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem. Here are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.” One he set up in Bethel, and the other in Dan. And this thing became a sin; the people came to worship the one at Bethel and went as far as Dan to worship the other.

It seems strange that he would make golden calves, given the condemnation of Moses’s brother Aaron, who also made a golden calf. This would seem to indicate that either Jeroboam did not make golden calves, but rather some other type of idol, and redactors chose to change that into golden calves to connect him with the sin of Aaron, who was not rejected by God, or Jeroboam knew nothing of a story connecting Moses and Aaron with the golden calf. Alternatively, he knew the story of Aaron’s golden calf, but the tradition condemning it did not appear yet, being part of the written tradition…i.e. the Bible, which is continually making negative judgements about events in Israel’s past. As far as telling the story to connect Jeroboam with the idol made by Aaron…

Here are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.

I am of the opinion that Jeroboam did make golden calves, both representing Yahweh.

Still, Exodus states that Moses, in a fit of anger because of Aaron’s idol…

I wonder what the other five are. There are a few images of Yahweh…

Of course, that’s speculative at best, but interesting nonetheless.

Can we make more kings?

The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram.  Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 

1 Kings 19: 15-17.

Elisha the prophet called one of the men from the group of prophets and said to him, “Get ready and take this small bottle of oil in your hand. Go to Ramoth Gilead. When you arrive, find Jehu son of Jehoshaphat, the son of Nimshi. Then go in and make him get up from among his brothers. Take him to an inner room. Take the small bottle of oil and pour the oil on Jehu’s head. Say, ‘This is what the Lord says: I have anointed you to be the new king over Israel.’

2 Kings 9: 1-3.

Sometime later Elisha went to the capital city of Damascus to visit King Ben-Hadad of Syria, who was sick. And when Ben-Hadad was told he was there, he said to Hazael, “Go meet with Elisha the man of God and get him to ask the Lord if I will get well. And take along a gift for him.”

“Hazael, the Lord has told me that you will be the next king of Syria.”

Hazael went back to Ben-Hadad and told him, “Elisha said that you will get well.” But the very next day, Hazael got a thick blanket; he soaked it in water and held it over Ben-Hadad's face until he died. Hazael then became king.

So Elijah receives the command from God, but leaves it up to Elisha to carry it out. So here, we make a foreig king of a foreign kingdom!

So Jehu got up and went inside. The prophet poured olive oil on Jehu's head and told him:

The Lord God of Israel has this message for you: “I am the Lord, and I have chosen you to be king of my people Israel. I want you to wipe out the family of Ahab, so Jezebel will be punished for killing the prophets and my other servants. Every man and boy in Ahab's family must die, whether slave or free. His whole family must be destroyed, just like the families of Jeroboam son of Nebat and Baasha son of Ahijah. As for Jezebel, her body will be eaten by dogs in the town of Jezreel. There won't be enough left of her to bury.”

2 Kings 9: 6-10.

King Joram of Israel had been badly wounded in the battle at Ramoth, trying to defend it against King Hazael and the Syrian army. Joram was now recovering in Jezreel, and King Ahaziah of Judah was there, visiting him.

Meanwhile, Jehu was in Ramoth, making plans to kill Joram. He said to his officers, “If you want me to be king, then don't let anyone leave this town. They might go to Jezreel and tell Joram.” Then Jehu got in his chariot and rode to Jezreel.

The guard in the watchtower said, “Your Majesty, the rider got there, but he isn't coming back either. Wait a minute! That one man is a reckless chariot driver—it must be Jehu!”

Joram commanded, “Get my chariot ready.” Then he and Ahaziah got in their chariots and rode out to meet Jehu. They all met on the land that had belonged to Naboth. Joram asked, “Jehu, is this a peaceful visit?”

“How can there be peace?” Jehu asked. “Your mother Jezebel has caused everyone to worship idols and practice witchcraft.”

“Ahaziah, let's get out of here!” Joram yelled. “It's a trap!” As Joram tried to escape, Jehu shot an arrow. It hit Joram between his shoulders, then it went through his heart and came out his chest. He fell over dead in his chariot.

Jehu commanded his assistant Bidkar, “Get Joram's body and throw it in the field that Naboth once owned. Do you remember when you and I used to ride side by side behind Joram's father Ahab? It was then that the Lord swore to Ahab that he would be punished in the same field where he had killed Naboth and his sons. So throw Joram's body there, just as the Lord said.”

Ahaziah saw all of this happen and tried to escape to the town of Beth-Haggan, but Jehu caught up with him and shouted, “Kill him too!” So his troops shot Ahaziah with an arrow while he was on the road to Gur near Ibleam. He went as far as Megiddo, where he died.

Then Jehu went to Jezreel. When Jezebel heard about it, she put on eye makeup, arranged her hair and looked out of a window. As Jehu entered the gate, she asked, “Have you come in peace, you Zimri, you murderer of your master?”

He looked up at the window and called out, “Who is on my side? Who?” Two or three eunuchs looked down at him. “Throw her down!” Jehu said. So they threw her down, and some of her blood spattered the wall and the horses as they trampled her underfoot.

2 Kings 9: 30-33. It’s unclear why Jezebel put on eye makeup. She certainly wasn’t going to seduce Jehu, whom she called a…murderer. The reference to Zimri is a reference to the king who reigned for only seven days…

In the twenty-sixth year of Asa king of Judah, Elah son of Baasha became king of Israel, and he reigned in Tirzah two years.Then  Zimri, one of his officials, who had command of half his chariots, plotted against him. Elah was in Tirzah at the time, getting drunk in the home of Arza, the palace administrator at Tirzah. Zimri came in, struck him down and killed him in the twenty-seventh year of Asa king of Judah. Then he succeeded him as king.

As soon as he began to reign and was seated on the throne, he killed off Baasha’s whole family. He did not spare a single male, whether relative or friend. So Zimri destroyed the whole family of Baasha, in accordance with the word of the Lord spoken against Baasha through the prophet Jehu— because of all the sins Baasha and his son Elah had committed and had caused Israel to commit, so that they aroused the anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, by their worthless idols.

1 Kings 16: 8-13.

In the twenty-seventh year of Asa king of Judah, Zimri reigned in Tirzah seven days. The army was encamped near Gibbethon, a Philistine town. When the Israelites in the camp heard that Zimri had plotted against the king and murdered him, they proclaimed Omri, the commander of the army, king over Israel that very day there in the camp. Then Omri and all the Israelites with him withdrew from Gibbethon and laid siege to Tirzah. When Zimri saw that the city was taken, he went into the citadel of the royal palace and set the palace on fire around him. So he died.

1 Kings 16: 8-12.

Jezebel knew that Jehu was carrying out a rebellion similar to that Baasha carried out...extermination. However, Jehu went far beyond his remit. He was not instructed to kill Ahaziah of Judah.

Now there were in Samaria seventy sons of the house of Ahab. So Jehu wrote letters and sent them to Samaria: to the officials of Jezreel, to the elders and to the guardians of Ahab’s children. He said, “You have your master’s sons with you and you have chariots and horses, a fortified city and weapons. Now as soon as this letter reaches you, choose the best and most worthy of your master’s sons and set him on his father’s throne. Then fight for your master’s house.”

But they were terrified and said, “If two kings could not resist him, how can we?”

So the palace administrator, the city governor, the elders and the guardians sent this message to Jehu: “We are your servants and we will do anything you say. We will not appoint anyone as king; you do whatever you think best.”

Then Jehu wrote them a second letter, saying, “If you are on my side and will obey me, take the heads of your master’s sons and come to me in Jezreel by this time tomorrow.”

Now the royal princes, seventy of them, were with the leading men of the city, who were rearing them. When the letter arrived, these men took the princes and slaughtered all seventy of them. They put their heads in baskets and sent them to Jehu in Jezreel. When the messenger arrived, he told Jehu, “They have brought the heads of the princes.”

Then Jehu ordered, “Put them in two piles at the entrance of the city gate until morning.”

2 Kings 10: 1-8. I wonder if God really wanted two piles of heads outside the city gate…it does seem particularly brutal, and the piles of heads were no doubt intended to warn the people what would happen if they opposed Jehu.

So Jehu killed everyone in Jezreel who remained of the house of Ahab, as well as all his chief men, his close friends and his priests, leaving him no survivor.

Jehu then set out and went toward Samaria. At Beth Eked of the Shepherds, he met some relatives of Ahaziah king of Judah and asked, “Who are you?”

They said, “We are relatives of Ahaziah, and we have come down to greet the families of the king and of the queen mother.”

1“Take them alive!” he ordered. So they took them alive and slaughtered them by the well of Beth Eked—forty-two of them. He left no survivor.

2 Kings 10: 11-14. Did God really intend Jehu to murder palace officials…and members of the royal family of Judah?

Before and after. Poor Jezebel. But Jehu got his come-uppance!

…the Black Obelisk of the Assyrian King Shalmaneser III (858 – 842 B.C.). The person cowering with his face in the dirt is Jehu, groveling and swearing fealty to the Assyrian king. And…

Elisha also made Hazael king of Damascus, making a trip north to carry that out. Hazael then assassinated the current ruler…Ben-hadad II (possibly also Hadadezer), by smothering him to death with a wet towel. Interestingly, tradition holds that…

…when Caligula and the Praetorian Prefect Naevius Sutorius Macro believed that Tiberius was dead, Caligula claimed succession. But suddenly, Tiberius awoke, so Macro had the aged emperor smothered to death.

So it seems like there is plenty of precedent for religious figures making and unmaking kings…so why is this sorcery if Simon Magus does it? I think there’s a two part answer to that.

The devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Matthew 4: 1-11.

The devil led him up to a high place and showed him in an instant all the kingdoms of the world. And he said to him, “I will give you all their authority and splendor; it has been given to me, and I can give it to anyone I want to. If you worship me, it will all be yours.”

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’”

Luke 4: 5-8.

There is so much here to note. First of all, Mark has none of this…

At once the Spirit sent him out into the wilderness, and he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.

Mark 1: 12-13. I think that the entity Jesus went into the wilderness to face was not Satan, but rather…Azazel…the strange entity who lived in the wilderness and was a key element in the ancient scape-goat ritual. Azazel was not a demon, nor was he malevolent. Yahweh…representing order…received one goat, while Azazel…representing chaos…received the other. I believe that Azazel became Satan when Christianity needed the Second Half of the Great Dualism. Jesus would be the ultimate scapegoat, but he could be this only if he was able to wander into the realm of Azazel, and return victorious. And since Mark knows nothing about what really happened in the wilderness, and since Mark comes from Peter, the latter simply didn’t know. Matthew and Luke have built out stories to fill in these gaps.

The element of 40 days, along with angels providing for him, has a parallel…  

Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.

The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.

1 Kings 19: 3-9. And we know that during his lifetime, there was a rumor going around that Jesus was, in fact, Elijah. Some commentators maintain that the third temptation of Christ indicates that Satan could actually give Jesus all the kingdoms of the world. That is not the case…the kingdoms of the world never belonged to Satan, and Jesus knew this. It was, in fact, an empty promise. The temptations of Christ do not mean that Christ was tempted…they simply validate Jesus of Nazareth being the Son of God.

And at risk of being exiled beyond the pale, I would assert that Satan is not being evil in these temptations. He has no vested interest in proving that Jesus was not the Son of God…he had a vested interest in Jesus being the Son of God. Satan is acting in the same capacity as…The Satan, met with in the prologue to Job, and in the trial of Joshua the High Priest. His function is to test…God allowed him to verify that Job would prove faithful. He prosecuted Joshua…verifying that God would find him fit for his position. In the temptations of Christ, he serves the same function…his actions confirm that Jesus is the Son of God. One should exercise caution when looking at Satan…The Satan in scripture, and don’t look at him through the horror-movie lenses that are the final result of thousands of years of human history, and the slow evolution of misunderstanding. Testing someone is not being evil…it confirms on the one hand, the faithfulness of the one tested, and on the other…whether one falls short. Testing is how we know that we really believe what we say we do…

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1: 2-4. Wow! Being tested is one of confirmation…leading to victory.

Yes, the trial of Christ. In fairness to Pilate…he did not believe that Jesus was guilty of any crime. And he attempted to get out of executing Christ…

Then the whole assembly rose and led him off to Pilate. And they began to accuse him, saying, “We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Messiah, a king.”

So Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

“You have said so,” Jesus replied.

Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, “I find no basis for a charge against this man.”

But they insisted, “He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here.”

On hearing this, Pilate asked if the man was a Galilean. When he learned that Jesus was under Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at that time.

The accusation that Jesus advocated that Jews should not pay their taxes is a bold-face lie.

When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform a sign of some sort. He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer. The chief priests and the teachers of the law were standing there, vehemently accusing him. Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked him. Dressing him in an elegant robe, they sent him back to Pilate. That day Herod and Pilate became friends—before this they had been enemies.

Pilate called together the chief priests, the rulers and the people, and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was inciting the people to rebellion. I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him. Neither has Herod, for he sent him back to us; as you can see, he has done nothing to deserve death. Therefore, I will punish him and then release him.” 

Luke 23: 1-16. So Jesus admitted to being a king. Pilate was skeptical about the accusations brought against Christ. Admitting to being a king would normally lead to one’s execution. The Herod in question is Herod Antipas, who was the one ultimately responsible for the death of John the Baptist. The emperor Augustus decided that, Herod the Great being dead, there would be no more client-kings. Antipas held the position of Tetrarch of Galilee. At one point Antipas had feared that Jesus was John the Baptist brought from the dead, so he wanted Jesus executed. However, at some point he realized this wasn’t the case, and eventually came to see Jesus in a positive light. Learning that Jesus was a Galilean, Pilate attempted to get out of executing a man he declared to be innocent. But why would Pilate not execute Jesus for claiming to be king, something, if true, would be a direct act of rebellion?

Pilate then went back inside the palace, summoned Jesus and asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

“Is that your own idea,” Jesus asked, “or did others talk to you about me?”

“Am I a Jew?” Pilate replied. “Your own people and chief priests handed you over to me. What is it you have done?”

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”

“You are a king, then!” said Pilate.

Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

“What is truth?” retorted Pilate. With this he went out again to the Jews gathered there and said, “I find no basis for a charge against him. But it is your custom for me to release to you one prisoner at the time of the Passover. Do you want me to release ‘the king of the Jews’?”

John 18: 33-39. This explains why Pilate did not find Jesus guilty of any threat to Roman rule in Palestine. Why? Jesus is a king, but his kingdom is not political. So Jesus went around and around, first appearing before the Sanhedrin, which Joseph of Arimathea was a member of, and then to Pilate, who referred the matter to Antipas. Antipas found no crime of which Christ was guilty, so he sent him back to Pilate. Pilate made yet another attempt to avoid executing Jesus…

But it is your custom for me to release to you one prisoner at the time of the Passover. Do you want me to release ‘the king of the Jews’?”

They shouted back, “No, not him! Give us Barabbas!” Now Barabbas had taken part in an uprising.

So Barabbas, a participant in anti-Roman activities, had not yet been executed, although, according to Roman law, he most certainly should have been. Pilate took one last measure to avoid executing Jesus…citing the tradition of the release of certain prisoners at Passover. He was hoping that there were enough supporters of Jesus present who would demand his release. This didn’t happen. But it is clear that Pilate desperately tried to let Jesus go, and would have, if the prisoner-release policy had not been in place.

While Pilate was sitting on the judge’s seat, his wife sent him this message: “Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.”

Matthew 27:19. Who was his wife?

But while he thought to rise, his own wife, who stood at a distance, sent to him, saying

Have thou nothing to do with that just man; for I have suffered much concerning him in a vision this night.

When the Jews heard this they said to Pilate, Did we not say unto thee, He is a conjuror? Behold, he hath caused thy wife to dream.

Gospel of Nicodemus II:2.

According to the Paradosis Pilati, the emperor Tiberius was furious that Pilate had condemned Jesus to death…

And Pilate, going away to the place, prayed in silence, saying: Lord, do not destroy me along with the wicked Hebrews, because I would not have laid hands upon You, except for the nation of the lawless Jews, because they were exciting rebellion against me. But You know that I did it in ignorance. Do not then destroy me for this my sin; but remember not evil against me, O Lord, and against Your servant Procla, who is standing with me in this the hour of my death, whom You appointed to prophesy that You should be nailed to the cross. Do not condemn her also in my sin; but pardon us, and make us to be numbered in the portion of Your righteous.

So Pilate repents of condemning Jesus, and he himself is executed on the orders of Tiberius. But we also learn that Pilate’s wife…Procula.

And, behold, when Pilate had finished his prayer, there came a voice out of the heaven, saying: All the generations and families of the nations shall count you blessed, because under you have been fulfilled all those things said about me by the prophets; and you yourself shall be seen as my witness at my second appearing, when I shall judge the twelve tribes of Israel, and those that have not owned my name. And the prefect struck off the head of Pilate; and, behold, an angel of the Lord received it. And his wife Procla, seeing the angel coming and receiving his head, being filled with joy herself also, immediately died, and was buried along with her husband.

This source is obviously very supportive of Pontius Pilate and his wife, whose name in later tradition is…

…Claudia Procula.

It is worthy of note that Pilate himself, who was governor in the time of our Savior, is reported to have fallen into such misfortunes under Caius (Caligula), whose times we are recording, that he was forced to become his own murderer and executioner, and thus divine vengeance, as it seems, was not long in overtaking him. This is stated by those Greek historians who have recorded the Olympiads, together with the respective events which have taken place in each period.

Eusebius, Ecclesiastical History II:2. It is quite possible that Pilate was summoned to Rome by Tiberius, but he was dead and Caligula was emperor, and that the latter had Pilate executed.

In Eastern Christianity, she was canonized as a saint. Later, the Ethiopian Church also regards Pontius Pilate as a saint. However…

The soldiers led Jesus away into the palace (that is, the Praetorium) and called together the whole company of soldiers. They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him. And they began to call out to him, “Hail, king of the Jews!” Again and again they struck him on the head with a staff and spit on him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to him.  And when they had mocked him, they took off the purple robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him out to crucify him.

Mark 15:16. So the trappings of a king…purple robe, crown, homage…are made the things of ridicule…indicating that the Romans did not accept the claims of Jesus. In fact…

John 19:19. The other gospels to describe the sign as saying…Jesus of Nazareth, or that the sign was written in three languages.

This sign can be interpreted in different ways. But when combined with mockery of the soldiers, the sign is denigrating. In fact, if Jesus was really a king, then none of things that happened to him would show that he wasn’t a king. So in very palpable way, these series of events “unmade” the king. When the story of Christ’s trial and crucifixion is combined with the Third Temptation, i.e. making himself king of the world, a king is made, and a king is unmade. And so the claims that Simon Magus could make and unmake kings, is an attempt to link him to both Satan, as well as the brutal actions that occurred at the end of Christ’s life.

The ability to turn things into gold is not new. When the Phrygian king named…

 …Midas…allowed Silenus, mentor and tutor to Dionysus, to stay with him, Dionysus offered to grant Midas anything he wanted. He, of course, chose the golden touch…anything he would touch would turn to gold. There are different stories about what followed that, but none of them went Midas’s way. He discovered, at dinnertime, all of his food turned to gold, and liquid gold now filled his winecup. As so he found himself the richest mortal in the world…but would nonetheless…starve to death. In another version, Midas had a beautiful rose garden. When he touched the roses, they turned to gold. His young daughter, who loved the smell of the roses, went to Midas in sorrow. When he touched his daughter…

…she turned into gold. A very valuable, magic statue to say the least…and it goes to show just how precious children are. In yet another story, Midas angered the god Apollo during a music contest, and the god gave Midas…

…the ears of a donkey. He later committed suicide. In yet another account, Dionysus agreed to take back the golden touch. He had Midas in the river Pactolus, and the touch was gone. Anything he had turned into gold, if he put it into the river, would turn normal again, with the gold disappearing into the water. Hence the river Pactolus became famous for its gold. It’s time to meet…

…Hermes Trismegistus…the Thrice Powerful god, a composite character of…

…consisting of Hermes, the Egyptian deity Thoth, god of wisdom and magic, and, oddly the famous Egyptian vizier named Imhotep, who was eventually combined with the famous Egyptian scholar…Amenhotep. How long does it take to become a god? If you’re Imhotep…3,000 years after you die. Better late than never…I suppose. Later, he was recast in the form of a pagan philosopher, and then, in the medieval period, the father of alchemy.

The goal of alchemy was to produce the Philosopher’s Stone, a legendary material that allowed you to do two primary things…turn yourself immortal by distilling the Elixir of Life, and turn base metal into gold. The first alchemist to describe the Philosopher’s Stone was…

…Zosimus of Panapolis…one of the first, great alchemists…but not the first…I’ll get to that later. He explained the origin of the Philosopher’s Stone, as well as Chrysopoeia…the art of making gold. Meet…

…Cleopatra, and although Cleopatra was a favorite name among the queens of Egypt, this Cleopatra didn’t rule Egypt…she’s way cooler than the politicians. She goes by the name of Cleopatra the Alchemist, and lived in Alexandria during the 3rd century A.D. In keeping with the developing art of alchemy, she is credit with devising the…

…alembic…a device used for distillation, and early alchemists were keen on distillation of liquids. Cleopatra began a tradition that the alchemists who followed her did as well…intricate symbols and designs that contain the steps needed to make the Philosopher’s Stone. But only the adept can decode the images.

The image on the left is known as…Ouroboros, an image also found in Gnostic Christianity, symbolizing eternity and the soul of the world.

It can take the form of a serpent or a basilisk…a winged, dragon-like creature that no good medieval beastiary would be without. Cleopatra is listed as one of the four women who knew how to make the Philospher’s Stone, and is credited with the ability to turn base metals into gold. Another early alchemist named Democritus, or Pseudo-Democritus, was also credited with the alchemical skill of transmutation…turning other materials into gold. In the case of Agathodaemon, or Agatho Daemon, who lived in the third century A.D., transmutation took the form of turning base metals into silver. He is often represented alongside of…

…Agathe-Tyche…two spirits in the world of alchemy. Another early alchemist credited with transmutation is Moses of Alexandria who lived in the first or second century. But as for Cleopatra, as I noted earlier, she was one of four female alchemists who could make the Philosopher’s Stone, along with Medera, Paphnutia, and another woman whom I will discuss later. Very little is known about Medera. Paphutia, also called Paphnutia the Virgin, was a fourth century A.D. alchemist mentioned in the correspondence of Zosimus of Panopolis, who scolded his student Theosebeia for visiting Paphnutia, claiming that the latter was not a true alchemist. Zosimus was the first to mention the Philosopher’s Stone by name, and he also pursued the art of making gold. He was really one-half of the alchemical team of Zosimus and Theosebeia. Zosimus also made distillation devices…

Somewhat crude images of these two alchemists appear in the Book of Pictures…

But what about gold?

When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years. “The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went to the daughters of humans and had children by them. They were the heroes of old, men of renown.

Genesis 6: 1-4. This is an explanation for how…

…giants came into the world. Ok, not quite like that, but you get the picture. Giants were the result of God’s Sons marrying human women. In terms of Greek mythology, the sons of God would be termed…demi-gods. The Book of Enoch includes an extended discussion of the Sons of God, who are called…watchers. They were sent to earth by God to watch over humanity…and there were 200 of them, and they had rulers…Shemihaza; Arteqoph; Ramashel; Kokabel; Amumahel; Ramel; Daniel; Ziqel; Baraquel; Asael; Hermani; Matarel; Ananel; Setawel; Samshiel; Sahriel; Tummiel; Turiel; Yamiel; and Yehadiel. They are also refered to as the grigori. According to Zosimus, one of the watchers taught the skill of metallurgy to…women. From the lists of grigiori derived from Enoch, Asael would seem to be Azazel, who I have discussed elsewhere, and indicated that he was not a demon, nor was he a fallen angel, though there is considerable overlap with Samael. Why women? Because the earliest alchemists were women. Zosimus believed that the alchemical vessel was a baptism font and the gases emitted by mercury and Sulphur functioned like the water of baptism.

One of the great works about alchemy is a strange book called the Atalanta Fugiens, published in 1617 by Michael Maier. It’s a book containing 50 discourses with mysterious symbols and drawings, although with musical accompaniments.

That’s just a sample. In this work, the key to making the Philosopher’s Stone is found in this emblem…

Make of the man and woman a Circle, of that a Quadrangle, of this a Triangle, of the same a Circle and you will have the Stone of the Philosophers.

Around the man and woman draw a ring. From which an equal-sided square springs forth. From this derive a triangle, which should touch the sphere on every side: and then the Stone will have arisen. If this is not clear, then learn Geometry, and you will know it all.

The circle shows the reconciliation of opposites. The two figures, one male and one female, become one, yet remain two, totaling…three, which is the triangle. The multiplicity totals four…the square. Then the man and woman return to one another, making the larger circle. The male and the female combine into one being…the hermaphrodite Hermes and Aphrodite. The image of the hermaphrodite, also called a Rebis, is commonly found in alchemical symbolism…

And…

…the sun (male) and moon (female) are typical. But even joined, they are separate…four legs, four arms, and two heads…which are better than one. The One is separated into the four elements…air, water, fire, and earth. From these four elements, four more elements are derived. Divide the four by four, four times, and obtain the three. Recombine into one, and then separate the three principals…Sulphur, mercury, and salt. Recombine the principals and distill the recombination seven times. Finally, the three purified principals are joined together as the One…the Philosopher’s Stone. Sometimes it seems that the alchemists synthesized LSD instead. But if you can do this, you will have what you need to obtain the Philosopher’s Stone…turning base medal into gold, and drinking of the Elixir of Eternal Life.

A man long rumored to have successfully made the Philosopher’s Stone was a book-dealer in Paris named...

…Nicholas Flamel.

And what a story! One day, having purchased some books, he found a long-lost book titled…The Book of Abraham the Jew. Yes! Yet another mysterious book. It was gilded, with pages made from bark, and included text and strange images. He and his wife spent much time trying to decipher the book. Every seventh leaf had an image, but no text. These images formed the basis of those he commissioned to adorn a tympanum in the Cemetery of the Innocents in Paris…

According to legend, Nicholas Flamel synthesized the Philosopher’s Stone, giving him the ability to transmutate base medals into gold, and, obtaining the Elixir of Life, he became immortal. But what about his mysterious Book of Abraham the Jew? This Abraham was described as a…

Prince, Priest, Levite, Astrologer, and Philosopher, to the Nation of the Jews, by the Wrath of God dispersed among the Gauls.

But it wasn’t just Nicholas who was enchanted by this book…

My wife Perrenella, whom I loved as myself, and had lately married, was much astonished at this, comforting me, and earnestly demanding if she could by any means deliver me from this trouble. I could not possibly hold my tongue, but told her all, and showed her this fair book, whereof at the same instant that she saw it, she became as much enamored as myself, taking extreme pleasure to behold the fan cover, engravings, images, and portraits, whereof, notwithstanding she understood as little as I.

Flamel described the contents of the book to an academic named Anselme, who was familiar with the stories of the Philosopher’s Stone. He explained that the pictures provided the means by which the Stone is produced. The first agent was the white and heavy water, which he equated with the alchemist’s Living Silver (Mercury) which, mixed with the blood of infants, gold, and silver turned into a herb, once dried and decocted with fire, it produced powdered gold…the Philosopher’s Stone. Oh, don’t worry…blood was the term used for the “mineral spirit” found in metal, so the reference to the blood of infants is intended to be symbolic. The process took six years.

In the end, having lost all hope of ever understanding those figures, for my last refuge I made a vow to God and St. James of Galicia, to demand the interpretation of them by some Jewish Priest in some Synagogue of Spain.

During his travel to Spain, he met a Jewish Christian named Master Canches. When Flamel spoke with the mysterious man, he was thrilled to find out that his new alchemical friend knew the meaning of the book, believed to have been lost to history. Canches explained most of the book to Flamel. But he wanted to see it, so he accompanied Flamel on the journey back to France. However, Canches died along the way. Flamel spent the next three years trying to make the Philosopher’s Stone. On January 17, 1382, he found himself able to turn mercury into pure silver. On April 25, 1383, Flamel mixed Red Stone with mercury, making pure gold. He was able to make gold on three occasions. The images which Flamel used on his tympanum show the means to make the Philosopher’s Stone. This practice of encoding the means to make the Philosopher’s Stone in strange images became a staple of alchemical works. One such work is Mutus Liber…the Silent Book, which purports to have been written by two men named Altus and Jacob Saulat…

The above set of images is from the 1702 version. Now it’s time for…

…George Ripley (1415-1490), a famous English alchemist. The most fascinating thing associated with Ripley is a set of scrolls containing images that, if one can decipher them, enable the adept to make the Philosopher’s Stone. There were different versions of the scroll, with very different imagery:

The differences run throughout, though sharing many elements. The differences begin, most importantly, with the first image…

Perhaps you must use the images from all the scrolls to make the Philosopher’s Stone.

Mary Magdalene is a mysterious figure…

…this is a painting of Mary Magdalene, found in the Dura-Europos church, which became a place of worship during the years 233-256 A.D. This is believed to be the oldest known image of Mary.

She was closely associated with Christ, and was the second person, after Lazarus, to learn of Jesus’s resurrection. But following this, according to the original ending of the Gospel of Mark, she ran off in fear, and despite Lazarus’s instructions, she told no one about what had happened. This directly contradicts what is said had subsequently, since as the claim in the Gospel of John, that Mary went and told his disciples, that being the cause of the footrace involing John and Peter. If the original ending of Mark, i.e. without the second, supplemental ending is the best source to go by…Mary disappeared. Luke 8: 2-3 states that Jesus

However, Christendom was not prepared to leave it there. Odo of Clunty (880-942 A.D.)wrote of Mary…

…if the disciples were thus called apostles because they were sent by him to preach the Gospel to all creatures, not less was blessed Mary Magdalene chosen by the Lord for the apostles since she removed doubt and incredulity of his Resurrection from their hearts.

He gave her the title…Partner of the Apostles. He also described Mary as incredibly rich, a noble woman, with royal blood, and the daughter of Syrus and Eucharia…attributing to her ownership of a substantial amount of land holdings, including in Jerusalem. According to Luke, Mary, Joanna, and Susannah were three wealthy women who helped financially support Jesus’s ministry. Luke 8: 2-3 also makes the claim that all three had been demon-possessed, specifically stating that Mary had previously been possessed by seven demons. Ah, yes! The magic number seven! The same claim was added to the second ending of Mark, most likely based on Luke. At no time does Scripture refer to Mary as a prostitute. This idea was the result of a conflation of Mary Magdalen, Mary the sister of Martha and Lazarus, and the unnamed sinful woman found in Luke 7: 36-50. This conflation seems to have arisen first in the writings of Saint Pope Gregory the Great in 592 A.D. In Homily 33 on the Gospels, specifically Luke 7:36-50, Gregory states…

The one that Luke calls a sinner, and that John names Mary (see John 11: 2), we believe that she is that Mary of whom, according to Mark, the Lord has cast out seven demons (cf Mk 16: 9). And what are these seven demons, if not the universality of all vices? Since seven days suffice to embrace the whole of time, the number seven rightly represents universality. Mary had seven demons in her, for she was full of all vices.

The woman in Luke is not named, nor is the nature of her sinful life specified. Gregory’s reference to John is to Mary of Bethany, sister of Lazarus and Martha. There is nothing in the texts that suggest that these three women are the same person, and Gregory makes his connection based on the second, spurious ending of the Gospel of Mark.

It is very evident, my brethren, that this woman, formerly addicted to forbidden deeds, had used perfume to give her flesh a pleasant odor.

Perhaps there really isn’t anything great about the Gregory the Great. However, Abbot Hugh of Semur described Mary as a sinner who was so glorified that she was worthy of title…apostolorum apostola…apostle of the apostles. Geoffrey of Vendome wrote that Mary became a glorious preacher. Regardless of the fact that he also associated her with the unnamed sinner in Luke, Hugh and Geoffrey went a long way to establishing Mary as a driving force in early Christianity. A hermit named Godric of Finchale claimed that both the Virgin Mary, and Mary Magdalen, had visited him, and taught him a song about the Blessed Virgin.

The imaging of Mary Magdalene almost always includes a container of oil. That is an object that Mary will always be stuck with. It is, however, wrong…

When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

Luke 7: 36-50. It is important to note that this woman, who is the source of the jar of oil, is not named. And since everyone by the time Luke was written knew who Mary Magdalene was, there would be no reason to not name her. There was also the sister of Lazarus and Martha in the Gospel of John…

Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

John 12: 1-4. So Mary of Bethany is being equated with the sinful woman, not Mary Magdalene. The idea that she, Mary of Bethany, and the unnamed sinful woman in the Gospel of Luke was first promulgated by Pope Gregory I, as noted above. However, there is nothing that supports the involvement of Mary Magdalene. This makes the imaging of Mary Magdalene as holding a jar of oil…incorrect, and it would only apply to Mary of Bethany. Mary Magdalene is the only saint to be portrayed in a sexualized manner…

…this manner of portrayal would seem to be the result of the conflation of the real Mary Magdalene with Luke’s sinful woman, ala Gregory the Not Great, and somehow ending up in the belief that Mary was a prostitute. This just goes to show that a vast amount of paintings and sculptures that are said to represent Mary Magdalene, really represent someone completely different. But the truth draws closer. This image…

…from the Psalter of Saint Albans (12th century) shows Mary Magdalene as the one who told the disciples that Christ was resurrected, though this role was not attributed to her in the Gospel of Mark. But clearly this reinforces the idea of Mary as just as important, if not more, than the other apostles.

The above image shows Mary Magdalene performing the same role in the Gospel Book of Henry the Lion (1175). Mary Magdalene would go on, in the legends that built up around her, to go…

…to from announcing the good news to the other apostles, to preaching in her own right. In the…

…St. Mary Psalter of 1315…Mary is shown lecturing 5 disciples. This idea, Mary Magdalene as a spiritual leader, and one who was taught more than the Gang of Twelve were taught, is clear from the Gospel of Mary Magdalene…

1) But they were grieved. They wept greatly, saying, How shall we go to the Gentiles and preach the gospel of the Kingdom of the Son of Man? If they did not spare Him, how will they spare us?

2) Then Mary stood up, greeted them all, and said to her brethren, Do not weep and do not grieve nor be irresolute, for His grace will be entirely with you and will protect you.

3) But rather, let us praise His greatness, for He has prepared us and made us into Men.

4) When Mary said this, she turned their hearts to the Good, and they began to discuss the words of the Savior.

5) Peter said to Mary, Sister we know that the Savior loved you more than the rest of woman.

6) Tell us the words of the Savior which you remember which you know, but we do not, nor have we heard them.

7) Mary answered and said, What is hidden from you I will proclaim to you.

So Peter acknowledged that Christ spoke with Mary Magdalene about things He did not share with the Twelve. And Peter asked Mary to tell them some of these things. Now I believe that this gospel was redacted at a later time. I think that…loved you more than the rest of woman…doesn’t make any sense. I think the original reading was…loved you more than rest of us. The change was made in favor of the male disciples, at a time when Christianity began writing women out of significant roles beyond those of virgins, saints, and martyrs.

1) When Mary had said this, she fell silent, since it was to this point that the Savior had spoken with her.

2) But Andrew answered and said to the brethren, Say what you wish to say about what she has said. I at least do not believe that the Savior said this. For certainly these teachings are strange ideas.

3) Peter answered and spoke concerning these same things.

4) He questioned them about the Savior: Did He really speak privately with a woman and not openly to us? Are we to turn about and all listen to her? Did He prefer her to us?

5) Then Mary wept and said to Peter, My brother Peter, what do you think? Do you think that I have thought this up myself in my heart, or that I am lying about the Savior?

6) Levi answered and said to Peter, Peter you have always been hot tempered.

7) Now I see you contending against the woman like the adversaries.

8) But if the Savior made her worthy, who are you indeed to reject her? Surely the Savior knows her very well.

So suddenly male patriarchy speaks, and Peter does a dizzying about-face, objecting foremost to the idea that Christ favored Mary because she was a woman. She does, however, get support from Levi, who I don’t think is Matthew. So herein lies the battle within Christianity that women would lose…well, except for the Virgin Mary, who became more and more important as time went on and on. But the Virgin Mary wasn’t a preacher…Mary Magdalene clearly was. Now the gospel is very fragmentary, but what Mary relates to the disciples is certainly gnostic, as opposed to that which became…orthodox. But Mary’s role as a religious leader, and her association with gnostic teachings, is very significant. The Gospel of Philip focuses on how close Mary was with Christ…

Wisdom, who is called barren, is the mother of the angels.

The companion of the savior is Mary of Magdala. The savior loved her more than all the disciples, and he kissed her often on her mouth.

The other disciples…said to him, “Why do you love her more than all of us?”

The savior answered and said to them, “Why do I not love you like her? If a blind person and one who can see are both in darkness, they are the same. When the light comes, one who can see will see the light, and the blind person will stay in darkness.”

So Philip makes it clear that what appears in the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, i.e. my reconstructed reading of…he loved you more than the rest of us, meaning the other disciples, is correct. And in both gospels, Mary is superior to the male disciples, something orthodox Christianity simply would not have. Philip also implies that Mary’s relationship with Jesus was of an intimate nature. In the Pistis Sophia, the leading role of Mary is clearly found…

After the Savior had finished speaking to his disciples, he said to them:

"Do you understand what I have taught you?"

And Mary spoke first and said: "Yes, my Lord, I understand the things you have discussed with me, and comprehend everything.

And…

It came to pass then, when Jesus had heard Mary say these words, that he said: "Well said, All-Blessed Mary, the Spiritual One. You have understood the words that I have spoken."

Mary answered and said: "Still, my Lord, I have questions for you, and from now on I will question you boldly. For this cause, therefore, my Lord, be patient with us and reveal to us all the things we ask you, and how my brethren are to declare it to everyone."

And when she had said this to the Savior, he answered and said to her in, speaking from great compassion he had towards her: "Amen, amen, I say to you: Not only will I reveal to you all things on which you shall question me, but from now on I will reveal to you other things which he have not thought to ask me…things that people never thought to ask. Not even all the gods, who rank below mankind, know anything about. Therefore, Mary, pose your questions, and I will reveal the answers face-to-face with you.

More…

When the Savior had said this, he said to his disciples: "Do you understand my teaching?"

 Then Mary jumped in and said: "Yes, my Lord, in truth I have paid close attention to what you have said.

So again, Mary is the one who understands the teachings of Christ, and boldly answers the questions he has posed.

And when Mary had said this, the Savior responded: "Well said, O Spiritual and Light-Pure Mary. You have understood."

Mary Magdalen, although the other disciples are present, is the one who engages in the conversation, and Christ repeatedly commends her for understanding what he has taught. And Pistis Sophia is a gnostic work. In the Dialogue with the Savior, Mary continues as the one who comprehends Christ’s teachings…

Mary commented on 'the wickedness of each day,' and 'the laborer is worthy of his food,' and 'the disciple resembles his teacher.'" She spoke as a woman who understood completely.

There was a gnostic sect called the Borborites, also called the Phibionites. And this group was based primarily around Mary Magdalene. Their main scriptures included The Questions of Mary; The Greater Questions of Mary; The Lesser Questions of Mary; and The Birth of Mary. They also used the Apocalypse of Adam, a book I have discussed many times, since it contains rival Virgin Birth stories. None of the books about Mary Magdaleen have survived, someone made sure they didn’t. And Epiphanius carried out a whole-sale denigration of this sect, claiming that they did things that most will find terribly repugnant. And it isn’t surprising that these base accusations of the more-than-base Epiphanius are sexual. First he accuses them of a Free Love doctrine, complete with wife-swapping and husband-swapping, and said that they referred to sexual activity as…Agape. Epiphanius, apparently having as dreadful an imagination as Cotton Mather, claims that they offered semen to God, then ate it along with menstrual blood.

They come to climax, but absorb the seeds of their dirt, not by implanting them for procreation, but by eating the dirty stuff themselves.

And he doesn’t stop there…not Epiphanius. He accuses them of eating aborted fetuses. And in spite of these allegations, he admits that the Borborites read the Old and New Testaments. Then he accuses them of writing all kinds of gospels in the names of the apostles…

…and they are not ashamed to say that our Savior and Lord himself, Jesus Christ, revealed this obscenity.

The Mary Magdalene literature used by the Borborites is also attacked by the Shameless Epiphanius, claiming they were forgeries, and stated that the group taught that Mary Magdalene was taken by Jesus up to a mountain, where they prayed, and then Jesus pulled a woman out of his side, and engaged in sexual behavior with her. Then he quotes them as teaching…

Thus we must do, that we may live.

When it says that Rahab put a scarlet thread in her window, they say that this was not a scarlet thread, but the female organs. And the scarlet thread means the menstrual blood.

Yes…Rahab the Harlot. Sorry for relating such horrific things, but here more than anywhere else does Epiphanius show just how low he is willing to go to denigrate a gnostic group who used scriptures centered around Mary Magdalene. I will say that I do not believe any of Epiphanius’s claims…they are so over-the-top and obviously the imaginings of a truly demented mind, and have no basis in fact. How he came up with these things…who knows? He also spent his life denigrating early Christianity’s greatest scholar…Origen…a ghost who haunted the halls of Epiphanius’s macabre castle. I have decided to take away Epiphanius’s title of…saint…and give it to Origen instead. St. Origen. Darla has a call in to the Pope about this. Many commentators maintain that the descriptions of the horrors written by Epiphanius became the basis of fanciful descriptions of…

  …Black Mass, which would seem to be the result of a long development of the activities of wandering clerics in the Middle Ages, who were paid to make changes to the Mass on behalf of wealthy clients, and parodies of the Mass intended for entertainment. As time went on, the Black Mass became a legendary form of the Witches’ Sabbath. But it would seem very strange that Epiphanius inadvertently provided sickening details for later bizarre cults and sects.

A very strange manner of depicting Mary Magdalene emerged in the Medival period…

Yes…covered in hair. However, this may be due to the conflation of Mary Magdalene with…

…Mary of Egypt. The story of Mary of Egypt was that she lived a dissolute life…of course…and was from Alexandria. This continued until a visit to Jerusalem caused her to rethink things. After seeing an image of the Virgin Mary…of course…she repented of her sinful ways. Supposedly, the Virgin Mary told her to cross the Jordan River and begin a new life has a hermit. After receiving absolution and Holy Communion in the monastery of John the Baptist, she disappeared into the desert, spending her life in prayer, and living on what she could find. It was said that she met St. Zosimus, who found her completely naked and barely recognizable. She was credited with walking on the surface of the Jordan River. Zosimus later found her dead body with…Ah, yes! A strange message written in the sand, an idea that no doubt came from the Woman Caught in Adultery in the Gospel of John, where Christ writes in the dirt with his finger. The message said that she died on the night that Zosimus gave her last Holy Communion. It isn’t clear whether her depiction as covered with hair was meant symbolically to represent Mary as having never cut her hair, or that her full body hair was meant to cover her nudity. So the imaging of Mary Magdalene and that of Mary of Egypt are conflated. Generally, if the woman is being taken by angels to heaven, the image is probably that of the assumption of Mary Magdalene. If clothes are being given to Mary, or her hair is gray, or she looks emaciated, it’s a safe bet that it’s Mary of Egypt.

But! The link between Mary of Egypt and Alexandria is very important. The Golden Legend says…

This Mary Magdalene is she who washed the feet of our Lord and dried them with the hair of her head, and anointed them with precious ointment, and did solemn penance in the time of grace, and was the first that chose the best part, which was at the feet of our Lord, and heard his preaching. She anointed his head; was present at his passion on the cross; prepared ready ointments, anointed his body, and would not depart from the tomb when his disciples did. Jesus Christ appeared to her first after his resurrection, and was a companion to the apostles, and was even made apostle of the apostles. After the ascension of our Lord, the fourteenth year from his passion, long after that the Jews had murdered St. Stephen, and had cast out the other disciples from Judaism, she went into different countries, and preached the word of God. St. Maximin, who was one of the seventy-two disciples of our Lord, who took charge of the blessed Mary Magdalene at the behest of St. Peter, and then, when the disciples were departed, St. Maximin, Mary Magdalene, and Lazarus her brother, Martha her sister, Marcelle, chambermaid of Martha, St. Cedony, who was born blind but was later given his sight by the Lord, all these together, and many other Christian men were seized by evil men and put in a ship, without any tackle or rudder, thinking they would drowned. But by the power of Almighty God, they came to Marseilles (France), where, since no one would give them a place to stay, they lived under the of a pagan temple. And when the blessed Mary Magdalene saw the people assembled at this temple to sacrifice to the idols, she stood up with a smile on her face, and began to preach the message of Jesus Chris.

The trip to France supposedly occurred…

…in 48 A.D. St. Maximin became the first bishop of Aix-en-Provence. Mary Magdalene supposedly retired to a cave…and since Mary of Egypt lived in a cave…yes, it’s confusing. On the day of her death, she re-appeared and received holy communion from Bishop Maximin. Cedony, called St. Sidonius, became bishop of Aix-en-Provence after Maximin died. Mary’s tomb is supposedly located in the Basilica of St. Mary Magdalene at Saint-Maximin-la-Sainte-Baume, along with other members of her entourage. Legend says that she lived in the cave, as a hermit, for 30 years. There are relics of Mary Magdalene elsewhere in Christendom, but the most enduring legend places her in Sainte-Baume…

…this is her tomb, located in the Cave of Mary Magdalene. Below…

…one of the most revered relics in Christianity. Mary Magdalene’s skull is kept in a reliquary that, when the face is removed, is visible…and rather frightening. I prefer the face over the skull.

…statues of Mary in the cave.

This sculpture stands outside the cave, and features the dead body of Christ being held by the Mother of God, with Mary Magdalene weeping on the ground. Saint…

Saint Sidoine, also called St. Sidonius, and, in the Golden Legend, Cedony, and the 2nd Bishop of Aix-en-Provence following Maximin, is said to be the man blind from birth who lived as a beggar, and, upon leaving the Temple of Jerusalem, was healed by Jesus (John 9: 1-7).

Extracted from its reliquary in gilded wood and hidden to preserve it from the anti-clerical atmosphere of the beginning of the 20th century, the head of Saint Sidoine was found in 2014 at the bottom of a cupboard in the sacristy of the basilica of Saint-Maximin, in a sealed lead chest. On the occasion of the Solemnity of Saint Mary Magdalene, the skull was recently restored reliquary. This marked the end of a 115-year homelessness.

According to tradition, Saint Sidonius was expelled from the synagogue and disowned by his parents after his recovery. When it was time to announce the Gospel, he embarked with Lazarus, Martha, Mary Magdalene and other disciples on a boat that took them to Provence. When Maximin passed away, Sidoine became bishop of Aix. After his death, around the year 80, his relics were placed in the basilica of Saint-Maximin. They would have been saved three times. First by the Cassianist monks, in 710, when the Saracens arrived. Then by the sacristan Bastide, during the French Revolution, who could only save a few remains. And in 1905 by the Dominicans. By ceding the basilica to the diocese of Fréjus-Toulon, in 1957, the latter left the heritage that was there.

St. Maximin, associated with Mary’s family in Bethany (not Mary Magdalene), was said to be one of the disciples of Christ…

After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves.  Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.

Luke 10: 1-4. Subsequent traditions have taken great delight in coming up with a list of names of the 72 disciples. There is, of course, no evidence that Mary Magdalene made her way to France. Gregory of Tours (538-594 A.D.) wrote that…

Mary Magdalene is buried in Ephesus, although there is no building over her tomb.

Source: Glory of the Martyrs 29: John the Evangelist.

For, he said, some historians say that Magdalene, from whom the Savior exorcised seven devils, was for all her life a virgin and that in the account of her martyrdom it is said that because of her perfect virginity and her excellent purity she seemed to the executioners to be like a limpid crystal. After the death of Our Holy Lady the Mother of God she went to Ephesus to be with the beloved disciple, and there Mary, the bearer of perfumes, completed through martyrdom her career as an apostle, having not wished, until her last gasp, to be separated from John, evangelist, and virgin.

Modestus of Jerusalem obviously followed the same basic idea of Mary dying in Ephesus. An additional legend states that Mary assisted John in the writing of his gospel.

That is the Cave of the Seven Sleepers…

…in Ephesus. During the Decian persecution, seven young males were outed as Christians. They refused to recant. Instead, they hid in a cave, where they intended to pray, but ended up falling asleep instead. Eutychus…anyone? Decius found out where they were, and instead of killing them, had the cave sealed up. Some three hundred years later the cave was unsealed. The seven young men awoke, believing they had slept for a day or so. One of them went to town to buy food, but found himself amazed how different things were. The townspeople began to wonder about him when he attempted to use old coins with the face of Decius on them. But the Awake Sleepers died after sharing their story. Legend has it that this cave was also the burial place of Mary Magdalene, and the connection between the Seven Sleepers and the apostle of apostles is reinforced by the fact that Christian knights claimed to have found the bones of these saints, and brought them to Marseille, the place where Mary, Sidonius, and Maximin supposedly landed at the end of their sea journey. The legend is also found in the Quran and, as one would imagine, there are caves all over the world that people claim to be Cave of the Seven Sleepers. Tradition relates that after the Crucifixion, Mary traveled to Italy, met with the Emperor Tiberius (14-37 AD) and told him about Christ's Resurrection. According to tradition, she took him an egg as a symbol of the Resurrection, a symbol of new life with the words: "Christ is Risen!" Then she told Tiberius that, in the Province of Judea, Jesus the Nazarene, a holy man, a maker of miracles, powerful before God and all mankind, was executed on the instigation of the Jewish High-Priests and the sentence was affirmed by the procurator Pontius Pilate. Tiberias responded that no one could rise from the dead, any more than the egg she held could…

…turn red. Miraculously, the egg immediately began to turn red at the testimony to her words. Then, and by her urging, Tiberius had Pilate removed from Jerusalem to Gaul, where he later suffered a horrible sickness and died an agonizing death.

One last comment should be made about the imaging of Mary…

…Mary likes to read and write. Not many women at the time could so, but given the fact that Mary was wealthy, it’s not too surprising. So Mary was well educated. The book-element brings to mind someone else.

The most important legend is one that connects Mary Magdalene with Alexandria, Egypt. Cleopatra the Alchemist was based in Alexandria, and Mary the Egyptian had a connection with Alexandria. In a previous essay, I argued that Jesus step-grandfather…Jacob the Panther, father of Joseph, had been a soldier in Alexandria before settling in Nazareth. And yet Alexandria comes up again! This was also the city where one would find…

…a most remarkable woman. She goes by many names, including Mary the Jewess, Mary the Alchemist, Mary the Philosopher, Mary the Prophetess, Mary the Sage, among others. She was, in fact, the first great alchemist. And some estimations of her life would put in in the first century A.D., a view that I accept. She became famous for many things, including the creation of many alchemical tools, particularly for distilling substances to obtain their essences…

Marie places in first line the molybdochalque and the processes of manufacture. The operation of burning is what all the ancients advocate. Mary, the first, says: "Copper burned with sulfur, treated with the oil of natron, and taken again after having undergone the same treatment several times, becomes an excellent gold without shade. This is what the God says: Know that, according to experience, by burning copper first, sulfur does not produce any effect. But when you burn first the sulfur, then not only does it make the copper unblemished, but it also brings it closer to gold. " Mary, in the description below the figure, proclaims it a second time, and says: This was gracefully revealed to me by the God, namely that the copper is first burned with sulfur, then with the body of magnesia; and one allows it to breathe until the sulphurous parts escape with the shadow: then the copper becomes without shadow.

There is an Arabic tradition stating that Mary the Alchemist held the infant Jesus. I may be going out on a tree…or a limb…but there two more images that are a quite interesting…

The image on the left shows Mary Magdalene standing next to St. Anne, with the Child Mary. What makes this interesting is the generational gap in the picture. Mary Magdalene was not of the same generation of Anne or the Virgin Mary…she was a contemporary of Christ. On the right is a painting by Leonora Carrington, which shows Mary the Alchemist doing her thing, with the 3 Magi standing behind her, thereby creating a connection to Christ. And in early alchemy, gnostic Christianity was to be found. Earlier I cited works that deal with Mary Magdalene, and pointed out that she is associated with special teachings that Christ only imparted to her, and a sampling of these clearly show that the theology involved is gnostic. And one of the legends about Mary Magdalene connects her with Alexandria. It would seem very likely that Mary the Alchemist and Mary Magdalene are, in fact, the same person. Following the death of Christ, Mary developed a Christian following that held her to be the apostle of apostles. Male-dominated orthodoxy would stamp this out. But Mary took her gnostic views and the secret teachings of Christ, and went to Alexandria, where she became the First Great Alchemist. And this is very important when it comes to Simon Magus the Alchemist…the guy who make gold. Where did he learn this? Following the death of John the Baptist, Dositheus and Simon were the two best choices to lead the sect. Initially, Dositheus became the leader, but only because Simon Magus was in Alexandria to learn magic. And so there it is…Simon knew Mary Magdalene, and when he sought to learn alchemical arts, such as making gold, he learned it from the apostles of the apostles. This being the case, it would to be blasphemy to attribute Simon’s ability to make the Philosopher’s Stone, and consequently gold, to sorcery. I’m sure that Mary Magdalene the Alchemist would agree.

How years ago in days of old when magic filled the air. For all its appeal, the modern world nonetheless falls short of the ancient world in its simple belief that anything can happen…and in a simple way. Anyone could do anything for any reason. The world was ruled by infinite elemental forces, perpetual and eternal…and by reaching out to them, the possibilities are endless. Faith, ultimately, transcends the rational and looks back into the dim recesses of the past. In many ways, faith itself is magic…a power that cannot be, in the end, based on books or reasoning. It is Irrationality itself…almost. There is no logical way to the truth. It’s found in the primeval and primordial...the power of truth is to be found in the Archaic…the power of faith is a relic from that which is neither Obscure nor Arcane…something you can see through a window or in a mirror…it is something Eve lost, and Mary found. When is something a miracle? When is something an act of sorcery? Both seem to manifest themselves in the same way. In the end, I suppose, it all depends on how you look at it.