In this essay, I will continue my search for the Shadow Among Us. Have no doubts that I have found good cause to name this episode…

The Artful Dodger? Another cool trouble-maker…but, alas, no. Not all trouble-makers are miscreanted equal. Or is that…miscreated? Still, there is no miscreated miscreant in our story...I think. Still, we do, in fact, have a Right Royal Prestidigitator. Perhaps…royal…is not quite so apt. The nickname…Rags…is an interesting one. It is most commonly used as a nickname for people with the last name…Ragsdale. I wonder if Chris MacNeil was originally…Chris Ragsdale? Well, probably not. “Rags” is used plenty in the novel, but I have found it only once in the movie, and often wonder about its significance. But one may believe that although there is nothing royal about the name…

 Rags…the sailor’s only daughter, a child of the water, too proud to be a queen.

 Still, that doesn’t mean that the name isn’t special…

 …people are just like rags; different shapes, different sizes, different colors and made of different material. Somehow God takes all these different remnants and sews them together, and by his hand the most beautiful quilt is made.

 I feel confident that the name I have chosen for this episode is more than apt. There is no doubt that Sleight of Hand requires…

No…it does not require magic set, nor does it require…

…a DIY book…

…even if it costs on $1.00.

I sure hope he gets that one right! And if you do intend to go into the magic business…

…be sure to wear a green suit. You could, of course, learn from the Dean of Magicians…

…and get a stick of gum too. Now Master Magician Blackstone makes a very good point about the…

…diabolical nature of magic. And as we all know, the word magic comes from the word…magi…pagan religious functionaries from ancient Persia. Who can possibly forget the memorable scene in the movie 300 when the personal magi of Xerxes I…

…toss proto-grenades at the Spartans?
Although you can do without all the gimmicks and what-nots, Sleight of Hand does require a lot of practice. I will start this essay with the following shot…

And yes, this is from the very beginning of the film when Pretty Teeth Regan seems to show no indications that something may be wrong with her. But that is, or so I believe, wrong. If the shot looks strange, that’s because I have fiddled with the light, over-sharpening it. And I did it because the lighting used during the shooting of the scene made something rather difficult to see…

Yes…Regan wears a bracelet on her left wrist. This bracelet will be seen in many different scenes, such as…

I have done the same thing here, dimming the light and over-sharpening to capture a shot of the bracelet on the left wrist. At this point in the film, it is being made quite difficult to see, which is somewhat strange seeing how seeing it would be deemed, by most viewers, to be irrelevant. None but the Most Insane would think much about since it would simply be visual white noise. Here is another shot…

There are three things to notice here. First, Chris has a bracelet on her right wrist. Second, Regan’s bracelet is visible. But also notice how bizarre the position of both of Regan’s hands is. Why? Wait! Have a little patience! I’m getting to that.

Pink Night Dress scene. She is not wearing the bracelet, suggesting that she takes it off when going to bed. But notice the odd position of the hand relative to her arm.

In this critical scene, we are not able to see her wrist, so we don’t see her bracelet, but there is no reason to believe that she isn’t wearing it.

Again, she doesn’t wear the bracelet on her left wrist when she sleeps.

This is the first time we meet Regan Grumpikins. And although she doesn’t want a fancy new thermometer, she is definetly attached to the bracelet on her left wrist. Now in all these shots, there is, or so I believe, an intent to obscure the significance of Regan’s bracelet.

This is the first time we get a clear, prominent shot of the bracelet Regan wears on her left wrist.

We could call this the Mom Now Knows That Regan Isn’t A Fibber scene. No bracelet on the left wrist, but we already know that she doesn’t wear it to bed.

 The Regan Knows Bad Words And Can Spit Good scene. And there is her bracelet, for all to see.

No bracelet. But we are in bed…during the middle of the day…something that I find troubling. And, as I have said before…and this is very important…she is wearing her Prettiest Nightdress.

No bracelet. But we were just in bed moments before.

No bracelet. But we are dressed for bed. And notice again the left hand…balled up in a fist. I’ll Punch Your Face? I will shortly be publishing an essay that analyzes Chris’s Most Important Party, and one of the people present for the Diabolical Festivities is Lady S…who appears to be a, not a Toidy-Toid-Toider, but a singer nonetheless. Seeing how Regan was present for the Shin-dig, I figured that Lady S may have played a small part in Regan’s Rock Music career…

That is the most malodorous…I mean, melodious, duet I ever heard. And I love songs with easy-to-remember lyrics…

 I’ll punch your face! I’ll punch your face!
Hey Coc*suc*** I’ll punch your face!

Actually, in the Hypnosis scene, she aims a little lower that the Animal Magnetist’s face. Still, she will keep her left hand clenched throughout the scene. At Berringer, she is in restraints, and would not have been wearing any jewelry. I think her bracelet was left at home. And since the Crucifix Scene begins with Stinker in bed…during the day again, she isn’t wearing her bracelet…

As things go downhill fast, we will not see her wearing the necklace on her left wrist again. Now how important can jewelry be? Just ask a Scottish Highlander blowing his bagpipes! Still…Regan makes no effort to hide the bracelet on her left wrist. It was probably a gift from Chris. But notice this…

This is when we meet Regan MacNeil…Sweet Pretty Teeth Regan. She seems well-adjusted, nice, friendly, cheerful…the ultimate kid. Is she these things? At this point in the movie, I’m sure everyone would say…of course! My answer is…she is not well-adjusted in this scene. In fact, it is in the scene that I have a clear indicator that something is very wrong with Regan. She is wearing the bracelet on her left wrist. But notice the right hand. It’s balled up in a fist…the now Universal Sign That You Will Get Punched In The Face! Why is her right hand clenched?

So she begins to unclench her fist, but notice how odd the position of the fingers are. She is reaching up to embrace her mother with her right hand, but then…

…suddenly changes her mind, and drops her right arm. Why? She starts with a fist, then begins opening her fist, still maintaining an odd position of her fingers, raises her arm to embrace Chris, then suddenly drops her arm altogether. Who cares? I do…and so does Captain Bagpipe Player Orange Bird! She is holding something in her right hand, she instinctively raises her right arm to embrace her mother. She begins opening her right hand, and then, also instinctively, continues to hold on to what is in her hand. Her final instinct is to clench her hand again to avoid dropping what is in her hand. Then she drops her arm. The following shot was very difficult to get, and I had to over-sharpen it to catch the All Important Thing…

Look at those shimmering, beautiful teeth! For a split second, the thing in her right hand becomes visible…part of it is being held between two fingers. The rest of it isn’t visible since it is curled up behind her remaining fingers. She will clench and drop her arm to avoid dropping it.

The Kitchen scene seems simple enough. And it is before all the Trouble with Toots? No. But it is worth taking a look at…

I suppose it’s subjective, but I think the position of her arms is odd…given the fact that she is standing straight up, as opposed to leaning forward with hands resting on the table.

The position of her arms is still rather odd. She will hold her arms in this position quite rigidly through the next few moments.

And…

Gee, mom! Can Pazuzu, Mr. Yucky Teeth, and my Big Orange Scottish Highlander come over to play? Sorry. Maybe she just found out that she could punch someone’s face. Despite her changing facial expressions, she continues to hold her arms fixed and in place. Never one to worry about ruining her dinner by eating cookies beforehand…which is certainly something a demon, or Cookie Monster, wouldn’t hesitate to do, she will need a free hand to grab a cookie.

Ok, Kiddo, it really is alright to move your arms around! Afterall, we are a ways off from Mechanical Mannequin Regan in the Foyer scene. Well, maybe she’s practicing.

After she begins moving her left hand around…

The way this scene is being shot does seem to be a little underhanded.

Now we see the right hand again, and she is clearly clutching the object she had before.

Hey, Stinker! If you keep your arms that way any longer, they’ll get stuck that way!

Where is that all-important right hand?

She will now get a cookie out of the cookie jar. But she keeps her fist closed at a time that most people will have opened up their hand. Then…

…get a cookie, but without totally opening her hand. As the shot I showed at the beginning clearly indicates, Regan is able to open her hand and maintain a grip on Her Most Precious Thing without dropping it. But she can’t open her hand completely.

She is able to grasp another object without dropping the other object, but it takes a strange hand position to do it.

There can be no doubt that the configuration of her arms and hands makes absolutely no sense apart from the assertion that she is actually clutching something in both hands. 

Not only does mom play for the Green Bay Packers! Regan insists on not dropping what is…

…in her right hand. Now I think we get a small clue…

Give it to me!

I think the important thing here is not the cookie, which is now hopelessly smashed anyway. Now I will admit that in the basement scene, I had a very hard time following Regan’s hand movements. To start…

Ok…Regan’s Scottish Bagpiper is in her right hand. Her left hand is hidden under the table.

I would suggest that the Regan’s Special Item is in her right hand. We’ve seen that she can open her hand enough to grasp something else, as long as she doesn’t have to open it all the way. In the above shot she suddenly switches John Dewar to her left hand.

Mom now has the Orange Highlander. Kiddo has her hands positioned in a way that will enable her to move something back and forth should she need to do so.

The left hand is open, but the right hand is being held partially open, in a position we’ve seen before.

Then…

The same position of the arms and hands as in the kitchen scene.

Right hand in a fist, left hand open.

And:

More…

Since pushing off from the post, she has been doing this with her hands all the way to the Ping Pong Paddle.

Same strange position with the right hand. Don’t drop your Secret Special Thing!

The left hand is open…

And she grabs the paddle without dropping it. So it is that she more than adept enough to hold onto more than one object in her right hand as long as she doesn’t have to open it completely. Now mom finds the Ouija board. She decides to hand it to Regan.

She still has her Special Thing in her right hand.

That’s not bad!

She is able to grasp the board with her right hand…

…but as the above shot shows, she doesn’t have to keep her right hand open. Then she drops the Ouija board onto the Ping Pong table to avoid having to completely open her hand. And there is a sign here how she is able to do this Sleight of Hand. First, a normal shot…

Now for a shot for which I have played with the light and sharpness…

I’m sure that I know what the reflective shimmer is around one of her fingers actually is. And no…it’s not teeth. In this shot, Chris is reaching for a chair for an Ask Your Friendly Scottish Bagpiper Ouija Board Guy session. But then there is a Touch of Sneakiness. After Chris grabs the chair and pulls it toward the Ping Pong table, there is a momentary break in the film that resumes with…

The break is vital because it allowed Regan to do something interesting, while at the same time not letting us see what interesting something that she did. Notice Regan’s left hand. Now notice what she does…

Now for the clincher, as it were…

Notice the left land…and notice the position of the fingers…isn’t that strange. Now for an interesting shot…

Following the unimpressive little trick with the planchette, Regan’s hands seem to remain frozen…

Now for a positioning of the arms that we’ve seen before…

Regan has either developed severe arthritis in her hands, or she’s hiding her Special Thing in one of her hands. The reason it seems so blatantly obvious is because we are getting a full frontal shot, as opposed to the side-shots we’ve been getting for so long.

I’m betting it’s in the left hand, and the positioning of the right hand is intended to allow the item to be passed back and forth if necessary.

You have to keep from looking at her hands. When this is done onstage, there is a sure-fire way of keeping the audience from staring at your hands…

The magician’s assistant…and like exotic dancers, shall we say…flexibility is a must! How else will you spin yourself around that metaphorical pole! Sleight of Hand is so much easier when a woman in lingerie stands beside you distracting the audience…

If you really wanted to divert the audience’s attention from your hands, the more assistants…the better…

If you have a magician’s assistant, she could even perform her own tricks like…

It’s all about misdirection. In our situation, with such a pretty face and cute smile, along with extended eye contact with Chris, mom is not paying attention to Regan’s hands at all. Nor are we.

I’m sure it’s in Stinker’s left hand…but she can shift it to right hand if need be. Or vice versa. And you’ll no doubt agree that her Magic Hands Positioning looks very uncomfortable.

Time to cheat!

Right! The camera angle changes abruptly. We were looking Kiddo in the face one minute and then…abracadabra…hocus-pocus, and now we are looking Chris in the face. And now we can’t see Regan’s hands, and couldn’t see what she did with her Special Thing between the two shots. Notice…

…the right hand is opening wide to grab the planchette. It would make it easier to do if you can get everyone looking at your right hand as you are about to do your magic trick, and not looking at your…

…left hand. Your attention is drawn to the right hand because the right hand is moving. Your attention is drawn to the planchette, and Chris helps by staring at it. Regan’s left hand, however, is not moving. So I wonder what is under it. And again…

…as long as the hand doesn’t have to open all the way. And what a fine magician’s assistant is Chris! We look where she looks.

Now it’s time to screw around with the planchette…

…and your eyes are invariably drawn to it.

And…

So having fixed a planchette that was fine moments ago, Regan will clearly indicate that she told a fib. Now I will give my non-existent readers a warning at this point. I took away Pazuzu…then I took away The Face…then, of all the gall, I took away Captain Howdy and showed him to be the Big Orange Scottish Bagpiper that he really is. Is nothing sacred? No! And now I am about to take away the Ouija board too. I venture to guess that most people who have watched the movie, liked the movie, loved the movie, hated the movie, were terrified by the movie…had, and have, no idea how a Ouija board works. And that plays right into the hands of the guys who made the film. What was Regan’s fib? She told her mom that she knew how to work the Ouija board. She does the questions, and the newly created Captain Howdy gives the answers. But it soon becomes clear that Regan has no idea how a Ouija board works at all. So you begin by doing this…

…yes! You position the planchette in the lower middle of the board. Then you do something strange…

Scottish Highlander…do you think my mom’s pretty?

 For some reason, you hold the planchette absolutely still. What are all those letters on the board? Well, you can spell out answers to silly questions. The clear bubble in the middle of the planchette is designed to show each letter in succession as the planchette is moved around the board. Yes! You actually have to move the planchette if the party game is to have any entertainment value. Regan seems to be completely oblivious to that fact. Instead, she holds the planchette completely still as if it were a crystal ball, and then attempts to read Captain Howdy’s mind. Be sure to keep your eyes tightly shut when your busy not using the Ouija board correctly!

Captain Howdy, that’s not very nice.

What she was supposed to do was push the planchette up to “no” in the upper-right hand corner of the board if Captain Howdy was actually indicating that Chris isn’t very pretty. Or, you could spell “no” using the letters on the board and the see-through bubble on the planchette. But to do that, you would have to know what you are doing. And, as an aside, a Ouija board isn’t a hard device to operate. Now, Chris will say something that I finally realized is fascinating…

Maybe he’s sleeping.

Then, not to be outdone by mom, Regan will say something fascinating…

You think?

So what just happened? Regan knew to ask a question. She also wanted to take a shot at her mother. It is clear that in Regan’s mind, Captain Howdy answered the question she asked…Is my mom pretty? Her sudden…that’s not very nice…indicates that Captain Howdy said…no. But! Regan doesn’t know that for it to be a “no” answer…she has to move the planchette. The planchette is there to be moved around the board. And yes…it really is that easy. Now what makes Regan’s total lack of knowledge so interesting is that she did, a few shots earlier, make the planchette move…

What preceded this? Chris reached out for the planchette, and yet again suffering from something I described in an earlier as Confusion of Intent, she does so here as well. Regan thought that Chris wanted the planchette, and deciding to show us a silly little trick, she flicked the planchette over to her mother. Ouija Board 101! And, yes…Chris knows exactly how a Ouija board works. The reason her mother reached for the planchette was because Chris knows that when you use a Ouija board, all participants have to have their hands on the planchette…

The only way to use the Ouija board is for all players to have their hands on the planchette. Chris knows that, so she reaches for the planchette. Regan misunderstands…

Seeing Chris reach for the planchette, and having no idea how a Ouija board works, see assumes that mom wants it so she flicks it over to her.

I will add what is merely an observation. I’m sure most red-blooded, hetero-sexual guys will instantly recognize the distraction that has them not paying any attention to anything else in the shot above...a cute bit of misdirection. But what does Chris say? Chris will again show that she knows how to use a Ouija board…

You really don’t want me to play.
No, I do.

Chris knows that both of them must have their hands on the planchette or it doesn’t count. Regan doesn’t know that. Regan thinks that you simply hold the planchette motionless in one person’s hand, then ask a question, and then get an answer that is, or so she seems to believe, transmitted from a box in the attic, passes through the ether, and then ends up in Regan’s Pretty Little Head. And much to her credit, Chris doesn’t get peeved at Captain Howdy’s apparent, though non-existent, answer. When Regan says…Captain Howdy that’s not very nice, Chris suggests that he is sleeping. Why? Because Chris is assuming that Regan’s rebuke to John Dewar is because he GAVE NO ANSWER AT ALL. And by the rules surrounding the correct operation of a Ouija board, no answer was, indeed, received. And I shall show myself to be the Great Slayer of Ouija Board Nonsense as it relates to The Exorcist! Even if Captain Howdy were some Demonic Entity, he could have no effect on Regan through the Ouija board seeing how Regan has absolutely no idea how the thing worked. So here we have a great thing for all those viewers of The Exorcist who have bought the whole…the demon came through the Ouija board nonsense…since if that could happen, then it follows that it would only happen if you used the Ouija board the way it was designed to be used. And I think that it is a shot at all the viewers of the film who thought they followed what was going on without really being able to know what was going on.

Now I will transition to the next scene where Regan has her Special Something.

Pink Nightdress Scene! All those who want to know the real story in the film must become keen observers of Regan’s Sleepwear! As I argued in another essay on this website, the most important shot of the Pink Nightdress Scene, the one where Regan hears the Sharonic Noises In the Attic for the first time and it clearly has a huge impact on her emotional state, was moved, with a touch of Legerdemain, to the Blue Nightdress-Yellow Pillow case scene. Here, Regan reads an account of the separation of her parents with a considerable amount of pleasure. There is a good reason for that, which I will get to soon. But notice here that Regan’s hand and arm are oddly positioned relative to the magazine, and we don’t actually see her open it. This sort-of clenched hand was seen in the shots shown earlier. In this shot, we are looking at Regan’s left hand. Now, mom will take the magazine. And let’s see what bit of fancy arm/hand work Regan will perform…

…we kiss the little dog…then we…

…stick our left hand under the covers so as to hide our Special Something. And the little stuffed dog…he saw the whole thing! Mom is about to sit down next to Regan, ask her what she wants to do for her birthday, and give her a kiss goodnight. So Regan hides what’s in her hand.

The left hand re-emerges after leaving her Secret Thing beneath the covers.

This is not a comfortable position to sleep in. And! This isn’t how Regan sleeps when she’s in her own bed.

I think the position in which Regan sleeps during the Yellow Pillow Cases and Blue Nightdress scene is meant to show the hands, and suggests that Regan still has her Special Thing.

The next part of the film where Regan is possession of the Second Most Important Thing To Her is the Hypnosis Scene.

It’s in her left hand.

Still is.

The next scene with Regan is the Berringer Scene, where things have gotten much worse. And there are different factors in this. But one of those factors, or so I believe, is that the item that Regan had become so adept at keeping concealed in her hands had then…disappeared. What is this item? That’s easy…

The item looks like a ring. And in the Basement Scene, I indicated that Regan had something around her finger. But this item isn’t simply a ring.

It is still rather hard to tell what this is. But I know! How? Because Chris has one just like it.

Here is a subtle close-up meant to show us what Chris wears around her right wrist…

And now for the beginning of the Crucifix scene..

Yes! We all know what kind of jewelry that is…

It is called by different names…the really creepy S&M name for is…slave bracelet, and the far more preferable name is…finger bracelet. It is a ring on a bracelet. With Chris, we never actually see her wearing the ring part on her finger…it just dangles from her wrist. Regan never wears the bracelet part of hers…she clutches it firmly in one of her hands. But now for a great question! Why doesn’t Regan wear hers? Surely, Chris gave it to her. No, that can’t be true! Why? It is very important to Regan that she possess this piece of jewelry…it so important that she has acquired a formidable skill of hiding it in her hands, and even passing it between her hands, without her mother ever seeing it. So why doesn’t she want her mother to see her finger bracelet? The answer is obvious…Regan is not supposed to have one. She wants it in her possession when she is around her mother, but if her mother sees it, she will know that she did not give it to her. Chris will know that there is no reason that Regan should have it. Why? Think of the Attic Bagpiper Box. Think of the party, where Burke mysteriously ends up with an otherwise unknown bracelet in his pocket. The only answer is that Regan got it out of the same box as the bracelet discovered at the party. I can see only one conclusion…and one that will go a long way in explaining what is wrong with Regan, and, it will be remembered, was wrong with her at the very moment that we met her. When Regan went through the box, she found, among other pieces of jewelry, the finger bracelet. It was just like Chris’s, so she took it. Every time she had it front of her mother, she risked dropping it or Chris seeing it. That would lead to a Whole Lotta Problems. But it was so important to Regan that she had it with her when mom was around that she was willing to take the chance. This leads to a good explanation for a couple of scenes.

Regan enjoys a magazine that we might think she shouldn’t enjoy. Why? Well, mom and dad are still married…but Howard has walked out and, as we find out, is in Italy. It is important to Regan that her parents still be married…but a world apart. Now for the explanation of…

Regan doesn’t seem to have given much thought about what she would like to do on her birthday. Chris asks her what she wants to do, and Regan doesn’t know. So Chris throws out some suggestions, and Regan agrees. I found this puzzling, seeing how she is just twelve years old, and you get to do what you want on your birthday. So what isn’t on her mind seems rather odd. But even more strange is the thing that she does have on her mind. It is a tender, heart-warming mother-daughter moment…a far better one than Chris will experience in the not-too-distant future. But, or so I think, this scene has been fundamentally misunderstood…

You can bring Mr. Dennings if you like.
Mr. Dennings?
Well you know…it’s ok.
Well thank you very much but why on earth would I want to bring Burke on your birthday?
You like him.
Yeah I like him…don’t you like him? Hey what’s going on? What is this?
You’re gonna marry him aren’t you?

 So Regan is fond of Burke Dennings? That is not what is indicated here. Note that Chris is taken completely by surprise by this conservation. It is clear that no such thing has been discussed between them before now. And Regan never answers the question…don’t you like him?

 Me marry Burke Dennings? Don’t be silly! Of course not! Where’d you ever get an idea like that?

Regan is being silly…sort of. Chris can’t marry Burke because she is still married to Regan’s father. And Regan knows that you can’t have more than one husband at a time.

 But you like him!
Of course I like him. I like pizzas too but I’m not gonna marry one.
You don’t like him like daddy?
Regan, I love your daddy. I’ll always love your daddy, honey. Burke just comes around here a lot because…he’s lonely…he ain’t got nothin’ to do.

I’ve heard…differently.
Oh you did? What did you hear? Huh?
I don’t know.

Chris will go on to tell Regan that she and Burke are just friends.

In this scene we get an important piece of Story Back-fill. It is easy to lose awareness of the fact that the only time we actually SEE Burke at Chris’s house is during the party. Of course, we know he was at the house on that fateful night when he took his Hellava Fall. But we didn’t actually see him. Chris just told us something important to understanding what Regan is saying. Chris said that Burke is, in fact, no stranger to the MacNeil house. He’s lonely and doesn’t have anything to do so he tends to be around a lot. Being fully aware of this is necessary to understanding what is actually happening in the Pink Nightdress scene.

Now I will take the position that this scene is the second big indicator that something is very wrong with Regan. As Chris indicates, no conversation like this has ever been had before, and she is very much taken by surprise to hear Regan say what she is saying. As far as hearing that Chris likes Burke like she likes Howard…that is a lie…Regan has heard no such thing. Here is what I believe is happening. Regan took the jewelry, but because Chris has a finger bracelet, Regan chose to take a big chance and carry that piece around. Why? Because in her mind, this symbolized a bond between her and her mother that nothing must interfere with. Daddy would, except he was in Italy. So he could not come between Regan and her mother. Not yet. Regan wants her parents married, but with the added dimension that Howard stay away and not come between her and Chris. She has developed an Ownership Complex in relation to her mother…and an unhealthy one at that. Burke posed a very real danger…if mom was becoming emotionally attached to Burke, that would lead to a divorce, and then a re-marriage. For Regan, that would ruin everything, and it simply wasn’t tolerable. Adult males represented the gravest threat…not to Regan, but as possible love interests that would destroy Regan’s Prized Status Quo. What Regan is doing is subtly testing her mother’s feelings for Burke to determine whether she needs to do something to intervene. At the time, Mom’s response is good enough. But that won’t last long.

A lot can change in 48 hours. In the Pink Nightdress scene, Regan felt confident that Burke was not a threat. But that depended on her parents remaining married. And Howard wasn’t a threat as long as he stayed far, far away. But listening to Chris raging about her father, Regan is now thinking…mom and dad are gonna get divorced. That means mom gets a new husband, most likely Burke, and then she would no longer have exclusive possession of Chris. Her Most Desired Status Quo is looking like it might not last much longer. This scenario is one that has created a very high level of stress in the mind of Regan…dangerously high. And when combined with the appearance of the Noises in the Attic, a certain Latent Trouble is bound to emerge. It is in the wake of this scene that the manifestations of that Latent Trouble come crashing in. Now we find her having symptoms of a certain disorder…but one that is deemed to be manageable. And it would be manageable if Dopey Doctor didn’t mess it all up.

The Sow is Mine scene. Regan did not know that two doctors would suddenly show up at the house, much less in her bedroom. This had not happened before. At first, she was having rather severe convulsions. But then she becomes acutely aware of who is in the room.

The doctor approaches, and pays the price for it.

Keep away…the sow is mine!

Chris is the sow. Regan is, although it is not said directly, obviously the piglet….as she is the novel…Honey Piglet. What Regan is doing here is telling the doctors to stay away from…herself? No, she will, in a split second, do something that is universally misunderstood. She is telling the males in the room that Chris belongs to her, and she will not tolerate either one of them threatening her Most Prized Status Quo. If one gets within striking distance…he will suffer. But now for what has been misunderstood for over 40 years…

Fuck me!

As we all know, she will holler this several times. Why? Is this a demon looking to get laid? Is she behaving in a highly inappropriate way? Well, yes, the latter is true. But I think she is doing something in particular. What is that? Regan knows that what sets the male-female love relationship apart from all others is that it is sexual in nature. The sexual element is at the heart of the bond. Obviously, Regan cannot have that relationship with her mother. Daddy does…but he, thankfully, is on another continent. That leaves everything just fine. If mom gets a new husband…the sexual nature of the relationship will, in Regan’s mind, end her ownership of her mother. I also noted in a previous essay that during the doctor office scenes, Regan displays Confusion of Intent…she fundamentally misunderstands the motives of others, yet in a context where one would not expect such confusion to be present. In the Sow is Mine scene, she awakens and finds herself having convulsions. Within moments there are two adult males, alongside her mother, in her bedroom. Confusion of Intent results. In Regan’s mind, the males are there to fuck the sow…and the sexual element is the one thing Regan knows will ruin everything. I will offer a different reason for why Regan screams…fuck me! It is simply that she is offering herself to them…if they mate with her, then nothing will come between her and her mother. It is vitally important that the piglet changes place with the sow if the threat standing before her is to be removed.

The Hypnosis scene takes this threat and increases it dramatically.

Once again, two adult males are present with her mother. One is Dopey Doctor, and I now believe, contrary to what I have said elsewhere, his presence is not particularly threatening to Regan. After all, she had, in the Sow is Mine scene, dealt with him. But this other guy is new. And! Instead of being in Regan’s bedroom, they are in Chris’s bedroom. They are in the sow’s bedroom. What more proof does Regan need? And so it is that…

…she violently attacks the psychologist, almost neutering him…the sow will mate with neither of them.

Now I will make a point about the Crucifix scene before ending this boring essay. Prior to this scene, Regan has not directed any violence toward her mother. But in the Crucifix scene, she very much does. In fact, I would say that the Crucifix scene reverses the Sow is Mine scene in two important ways. In the latter scene, Regan protects her relationship with her mother by first attacking the male who approaches, but then offers herself in the place of the sow. However, no such sexual activity involving Regan took place. That changes in the Crucifix scene where Regan enacts sexual activity with the only adult male present in the room…

Regan makes her declaration.

This does have the effect of maintaining the idea that the sexual act is voluntary on the part of Regan. But this isn’t the only way the Crucifix scene reverses the Sow is Mine scene.

There can be no doubt that…lick me! Lick me! is intended to be understood as imitative to…fuck me! Fuck me! But Regan, enraged, will reverse what she accomplished in the Sow Is Mine scene. Not only will she not prevent the fucking of the sow, Regan will do it herself…the piglet will fuck the sow, but she obviously realizes that, since it is her mother, she must use the corresponding expression that would fit the action. That said, there is something else in this. Fuck me! Was intended to cause the sexual act to be performed on herself. That is active with a passive sense. With her mother, Regan is not passive…she is the one who will fuck the sow. But there is one other important element in the Crucifix scene. It is easy to miss the significance of the fact that Supposedly Possessed Regan can not free herself from her restraints. Asking Karras to do it for her illustrated how Not-Possessed Regan was. In the second scene with Karras, having learned an important lesson from the first meeting, she does not ask to be freed. But she nonetheless felt compelled to…

…make the little desk drawer pop open. When Karras tells her to do it again, now that he can watch closely, she refuses. A Vulgar Display Power? Hardly. I think Regan and Chris realized that asking for physical help was a bad idea, undermining their manipulation of Karras as they seek an exorcism. But at the same time, they felt that if Regan were possessed by a demonic entity, she should be able to perform an impressive Display of Supernatural Power. The only thing that Regan could do was the little trick that made the drawer pop open. And that’s why I find the following two events that occurred during the Crucifix scene to be something that can not possibly have happened in the Artificial Reality…well, not in the way we’re used to seeing it…

Look, mom, no hands! I was puzzled as to why the best trick Regan could do for Karras was the little trick with the desk drawer. If she was able to perform the Regan’s Magic Chair Trick, I would think that she could have at least matched it during her second meeting with Karras. Instead of something impressive, she does something silly. Now why perform the Sliding Chair Trick at all? What purpose does the act serve? With the desk drawer, Regan was attempting to sell the whole demonic possession story. But in the Crucifix scene, there is no one to impress. The act is far more functional. Other grown-ups are racing down the hall to come to Chris’s aid. This means that had Sharon and Willie actually made it into the room, they would have been able to stop what Regan was about to do. It is a tacit acknowledgement that Regan isn’t powerful enough to hold off Sharon and Willie. So moving the chair is an acknowledgement of…weakness. And what is it that Regan is intent upon doing? What is the real action here?

The main action is not the chair…it’s the dresser. The chair trick is really intended to prevent anyone from interfering with the Much More Impressive Dresser Trick. But what is the point of the Diabolical Dresser Trick? Well, what is actually happening in the scene is not what it looks like. I think that what is really happening is that Regan is trying to kill Chris. But I don’t think that pushing the dresser across the room at her is the way to do it. And the dresser is obviously much heavier than the chair which, in turn, is heavier than the little desk drawer. Here is my interpretation. Having reversed two elements of the Sow is Mine scene, Regan decided that the sow, for a very specific reason, had to die. What Chris did was to simply block Regan out of the action. Following Regan’s punch to Chris’s face, she ran over and shoved the chair in front of the door. She then moved the dresser away from the wall just far enough to be able to get behind it. She then made a concerted effort, not to push it across the room, which would have been impossible, but rather to push it OVER so that it would land on Chris, crush her, and kill her. However, Regan was simply not strong enough to do so. She then ran back into the room, and recovered her crucifix.

There are a few concluding comments I would make, doing so without jumping too far ahead. I do not believe that Regan had intended things to take the course they did…not at first. The build-up to the Crucifix scene really begins with…

…Kiddo comes home from the Berringer Clinic. And they would never have sent her home, given the state she was in, unless they had concluded that her situation wasn’t psychological. Then…

…Regan is put to bed. But then…

Chris finds the crucifix. And we know that she will proceed to interrogate everyone else in the house in order to find out who put it there. I would point out that no one in the house had any reason to have put it there. In fact, unless they did so before Regan came home from the Berringer Clinic, it would have been almost impossible to do so, seeing how Chris was prowling around Regan’s room as soon as she got through the front door. Furthermore, there is no indication anywhere in the film that Sharon has a single religious bone in her body. The same is true of Karl and Willie. That is not conclusive, but it is fair to expect some indication that any of these people are…Catholic…as opposed to Protestant; Protestants would not have so much as handled a Catholicy Crucifix. Oh, and they would also have to care one jot, tittle, or iota about religion, and then have cared SO MUCH about religion that they would consider a Magic Talisman as offering any hope for Regan, which would in turn require that they believe the whole…Demon Bullshit…at all. Most non-extremist Christians, whatever they may think they’re supposed to say…don’t believe in real demons in a real world who enter the here-and-now through a Ouija board that Regan doesn’t know how to use anyway. Then, they must make one last step that…if they believe in Demon Bullshit, and magic talismans, they would then have to diagnose Regan’s problem as related to a Medieval Superstition, being cognizant the whole time that Regan has, heretofore, made no claim about The Devil, Demon Possession, or even the naughty things that Mrs. Karras supposedly got up to. Apart from Chris’s conversation with the Berringer Clowns, the failure of the Big Avarian Scottish Highlander to appear and claim to be a Yucky Teeth Alter Ego of Regan because Chris read an early version of Sybil and probably watched the Most Crappy of Movies…The Three Ludicrous Faces Of A Woman Who Wanted To Get Laid, even the weirdest Evangelical who believes that Regan sang backwards on Stairway to Heaven or Rain in order to undermine the Entire Created Order would still have to believe that this kid wasn’t mentally disturbed or had not developed a Disturbing Ownership Complex relative to her mother…who is a female pig…of all things. Where was I before I began to rage like a little kid who couldn’t do anything more interesting than open her silly little desk drawer, quite anti-climactic given the Incorrectly Named Spider-walk, the More Interesting Sliding Chair Trick, and even the Vulgarest Vulgar Display of Vulgar Power that, if we look through Chris’s I’m-In-Full-Blown-Freudian-Denial-Neurosis view of the Most Vulgar of Little Kid Dresser scenes…that trick? That was, on the surface, at least as interesting as it was entertaining to watch Chris crawl around on the floor trying not to cut her hands on Regan’s broken Led Zeppelin albums. What does all this mean? I will put it simply…no one in the house would have even…wait! Where did Sharon get the crucifix? The Crucifix Store? There’s a special sale so get’em while they last? Willie? Karl? They ran out somewhere to steal a crucifix to put it under the mattress before anyone raised the possibility of a…demon? Are we really to believe that Berringer and His Three-Ringed Circus of Psychological Clowns and Freudian Wash-outs suggested an exorcism? Karras was insane, and even he knew that all you would accomplish if you treated a crazy guy who said he was Napoleon as if he were really…Napoleon… was to have him marching in front of a Metaphorical Napoleonic Army for the rest of his life, would they really suggest the nonsense that Chris heard them say? In the Crucifix scene…Chris’s Deluded Eyes. In the Berringer scene…Chris’s Deluded Ears. Deluded by…love, I feel overwhelming compelled, and moved, to admit that. I have no doubts that Chris loved Regan more than anything. And they sent her home? I don’t doubt that they explained to Chris that they had seen people act like Regan who believed that they stood at the front of a Primitive Culture Fictional French Army hurtling toward its defeat at Waterloo…metaphorically speaking. What they explained to Chris is that they have seen people act like Regan who were psychotic and believed that Some Entity Hated By Priests and Rabbis had taken over the person’s whole being. But they did NOT tell her that the thing to do was permanently, irrevocably, and…quite possibly…just so happen to reinforce, this delusion with an interesting…I’ll admit…but totally pointless religious ritual that had as much chance of doing anything positive as some serious Ouija Board and Planchette Lessons might accomplish. Send her home for some Tektonikian Witch Doctor to chant chants and douse her with holy water? No. But they would send her home if they had deduced, and it wouldn’t be hard to do so, that Regan was suffering from a Certain Disorder that was, ultimately, not caused by psychological factors. Well, they wouldn’t be entirely right on that point, seeing how they didn’t get the opportunity to watch Regan play Now You See It Now You Don’t Reganite Three Card Monte with a finger bracelet she stole from a box that she…stole…from John Dewar! Chris heard what she thought she heard just like she saw what she thought she saw…or better yet…thought she didn’t see what she knew she saw but simply didn’t want to see it. But, I could be wrong.

I believe that Regan did not originally plan to undo the Sow Is Mine scene. Regan was awoken by the sounds Sharon was making in the attic…we hear them too. Regan had offered herself to the two males…but had come out of it unmolested. Something has now changed…something very important. Previously, Regan did not actually want the two males to take the piglet instead of the sow…but if that is what it took…then so be it. It didn’t come to that. But now, with the crucifix, as symbolic of another male figure…Jesus…she forces what had not happened before to happen now. What this signifies is that her view of her relationship with her mother has fundamentally changed. And in no time flat. So she will proceed to reverse two things. First…she will be sexually had by the only male present in her room…the guy on the crucifix. That is half of the throw-back. When her mother appears, we will get the second half. Not only will the piglet be had…the sow will be had too. But this time by the piglet herself. So there is plan and intention in how this scene plays out, and shows that Regan…at least at this point…no longer wishes or intends to possess her mother. Why? What has changed? That’s simple…Chris has betrayed her. So who put the crucifix in Regan’s room? I see only one answer…Regan did. How religious was Regan? Not. But, as was the case with the, now, Conflicted Attic Bird Box, the items within it, her mother, and…I would add…the St. Joseph medal that Regan found and hid so that Sharon could find and reveal, when Regan believed that something belonged to her…it belonged to her. Contesting that was something that could only be done at one’s very own…peril. A punch in the face? Sure…if you were lucky. I have said elsewhere that Sharon stole the bracelet that Regan stuck in Burke’s pocket. So Sharon was a Pick-Pocket…but Regan was an Anti-Pick-Pocket? An Un-Pick-Pocket? Indeed. Speaking of the Crucifix scene, I would point out this…

Yes! The Intrepid Detective of the Children Kindermann! Never was there a bigger liar, or a cop so dedicated to illegal entrapment. Chris! Call your lawyer before you stick your head in a Kindermannian Noose! What did Kindermann find? Yes…a little clay animal…a Reganite Little Clay Animal to be get the taxonomic nomenclature correct! It does seem strange that this Clay Thingee managed to make it all the way down the Stone Stairs as part of a Hellava Arts And Crafts Fall! It’s as if it followed Burke all the way down the Stairway to Unheaven. Perhaps a coincidence…lucky or otherwise. After all, the clay animal was fine! So did it just happen to be perched on Regan’s Diabolical Window Ledge as Burke-Is-Loved-By-Regan-So-Much just so happened to begin the Great Descent from the Up There to the Down Here? I suspect…not. But if Burke found himself standing by the Portal of Certain Death just as a terrible headache came crashing down upon him…Burke fell down and broke his crown…Regan might just stick the Little Clay Guy in Burke’s pocket as if they were at an Arts and Crafts Party in Chris’s Livingroom!  And, oh my! I just dig Burke’s personal nursery rhyme…

Humans being humans, even the most innocent things can be adapted to…

You didn’t know that Jack was the Great Invisible Porn Star…did you?

It does seem as though Jack ends up getting it a lot worse than Jill!

Why stick the little clay animal in Jack’s…I mean…Burke’s pocket? Well…hmmm…I don’t know but it could be interpreted as…wait! Sorry, the editorial board has warned me about any more spoilers. So I will have to be content, at this point, to say that Regan took a crucifix down from the wall in her room at the Berringer School for Clowns, Harlequins, and Assorted Circus Freaks, and that was what she used to cut her face. And remember! What is Regan’s is Regan’s if you wish to make it out of here alive! So she took the crucifix featuring the only adult male that would be present in Regan’s room when Show Time Began…home with her. Before the sow could tuck Little Piglet in so that she could sleep her way through another Thorazine Hazy Day, Regan managed to slide it under the mattress. Psycho-pharmaceutical poisons being what they truly are…Regan then went sleepy-time. So mom found Regan’s Latest Theft.

Give me back my crucifix! I stole it fair and square…you co**suck**!

Obviously…Regan got the crucifix at the Berringer Clinic and Foundation. I think she got it off the wall. She had this with her when she was taken home, and while Chris wasn’t looking, using her well-established Sleight of Hand Skills, stuck it under the mattress. Then Chris found it. So how did it get back into Regan’s room? Was there some gigantic crucifix magnet hidden in the Most Vulgar of Little Kid Dressers? No. The answer is obvious…

 Mom left it on the little table. In two previous scenes…the After-Party scene and the Spider-Walk scene…Regan hears talking downstairs, is awakened, and then comes downstairs…with some quite explosive thing soon taking place. It seems obvious to me that as Chris speaks with the detective, Regan awakes, and she comes downstairs. She listens to part of the conversation. Looking at the table, she sees her crucifix, and she takes it back upstairs with her. Then she falls asleep again. When Miss Noises In The Attic wakes her up…she grabs the crucifix and begins undoing the Sow Is Mine scene…first with a male. When mom enters, she undoes her mother’s escape from a perceived sexual advance by carrying it out herself. So what has happened? As Regan listened to the conversation between the detective and her mother, she heard her mother say something that was tantamount, in Regan’s mind, to treachery on the part of her mother. As we know, Chris survived the Furniture Re-arrangement Onslaught. At that point, she convinced Regan to set everything aside and pursue the Strangest of Strange Ways To Get Out Of Trouble. That did not, however, mean that mom was forgiven.

Show-time Sweetie…make it count! Father Merrin enters the room. Then Karras, but then…

…Chris attempts to join them. Karras says…no. That is, as I have pointed out in other essays, a complete and totally violation of the requirements of the Roman Rite of Exorcism…if the victim is female, then an adult female must be present in the room. Why is that when a woman gets examined by a doctor, a female nurse must be present? Answer…protection. For the patient? No…for the doctor. Malpractice insurance is costly enough without having to settle lawsuits arising from accusations that Dr. So-And-So put his hands where they didn’t belong. The presence of an adult female…a nun being great…and a Mother Superior being the Most Superior Thing of All…alas! Chris is not running a convent, and neither Merrin or Karras seem to have thought about bringing their own nun or Mother Superior, who may, or may not have, actually jumped the gun. Perhaps there’s a local Nun-Delivery-Service? And then Regan engages in a little bit of friendly banter with Good Father Merrin…

Deprived of her Captain Howdy, Regan is in a fowl mood…

Stick your co** up her a** you motherfuc**** wortheless…

…co**suc***!

 Oh, Regan…where did we go wrong? You’re in big, big, big, big trouble! But who does Regan envision as being at the receiving end of something that definitely requires a fancy dinner and movie before it happens? Right! She’s talking about her mother. She saved her from Dopey Doctor and the Frontal Lobe Lesion Wizard! She saved her from the Animal Magnetist! Then she did the job herself…take that sow! How do you like Honey Piglet now? And as far as Regan is concerned, she won’t object to a little personal time between Father Merrin and Chris MacNeil. I would say that Kiddo is still a little angry with her mother.

What did she hear? What made Regan so angry that she cast off the I-Own-Mom-Complex that she once sought so hard to preserve? And just why is that Chris suddenly, after speaking to Detective Entrapment, is absolutely convinced that Regan killed Burke? As it just so happens, I know the answer to that.