There has always been a perceived time distortion in the film’s chronology big enough to drive a Mack truck through…although the guys who own the movie theatre would probably not be as appreciative of that as I would be. Where do the problems begin? Actually, when do the problems begin? That is a much more pertinent question, as far as this essay is concerned. Where lies this distortion? Or…where is the beginning of the distortion? When do Regan’s problems start? By the time we see her in the exam room during her visits to the doctor, we are told that she is “high enough already”, tells lies, complains about her bed shaking, uses sexually inappropriate language and has problems with math. Wait a minute! Good Lord…I’m Regan! Still, there has been the passage of some time, seeing how we don’t see or hear any of this except in one scene where she mentions her bed shaking. And, we don’t see that either. We are not witnesses, so I would caution one against believing one side of the story without knowing the other side. But once we get to the doctor’s office, we see odd behavior ourselves. This includes aggression in situations that wouldn’t seem to merit it. This appears during the second visit to Dopey Doctor as well. She also, in these contexts, seems to display confusion of intent…

Of course, the doctor isn’t giving her the thermometer, he’s taking her temperature…not literally. He’ll take it back, you know. And we know that Regan is a smart kid, and so she would know the difference being offered the thermometer as a keepsake on the one hand, and being shown her temperature on the other. This also happens when she is…

…being offered an injection. So is she saying that she doesn’t want a shot? I don ‘t think so, since, to be consistent, we then have to believe that Regan believes the doctor is giving out free thermometers. Regan is displaying confusion of intent…she is responsive within the context, but doesn’t understand the actions of others. In two instances she displays what is called Directed Aggression. This happens in the I’m-Not-In-The-Market-For-Thermometers Scene, and in the scene with the injection…

Regan displays two skills that will figure prominently as the story proceeds…spitting…and foul language…

Fuckin’ bastard!

Nonetheless, we must exercise caution…especially if language is concerned. I seriously doubt, within the Artificial Reality, the kid never used foul language. What kind of kid are you? Of course, it’s possible that mom hadn’t heard it yet…but I’ll bet the kids at recess heard it! Strange responses to stimuli are also present…

The doctor is testing her sense of touch, and surely she feels what he is doing. Her response is strange and confusing…and that’s the point. Initially aloof and seemingly unaware even of the doctor’s presence, she finally becomes responsive and says something odd. This is not the first time this behavior will be seen. Then we see her behaving as if she were drunk…

I have stated my opinion elsewhere, and repeat it now, that what we are seeing is what is called Postictal Wandering, itself a form of Poriomania, which literally means…an unexplained need to walk. And that was preceded by Regan getting a bit too personal with the bathroom door…

Apparently bathroom doors only speak in moans and groans. All of these behaviors are highly significant, and I will be including them in a subsequent essay. Perhaps the most disturbing event is…

So is Regan hallucinating, or seeing the demon inside her?

Do your demons, do they ever let you go?

 That is a lyric from a very cool song. And! It provides a remarkable amount of insight…

 Do your demons…do they ever let you go?
When you’ve tried, do they hide, deep inside…it is someone that you know?

 He’s not singing about Regan. No, he’s singing about you and me. So things aren’t always clear. If it was Make-Your-Own-Demon night…

…you probably wouldn’t dream up this guy. Mine would have better teeth. Some might think bigger…Devilishly…

…that’s not him. Try again…

Well, good-looks do run in his family. Just look at his daughter…

Whatever. The worst part of a person, or worst parts, can, metaphorically, be referred to as demons. Still, as far as The Face is concerned, it is actually the condition of the teeth that is so important. He doesn’t even have Regan Eyes. It is the teeth that explain who he is, what he is, and, perhaps most importantly, how he came about. And I will give a bit of a spoiler here. Regan is not hallucinating, nor is she seeing a demon within her. In fact, or so I think, in the doctor’s office scene, she doesn’t see it at all. Now it appears just as Regan’s eyes open…

So surely she sees the face! No. Something else coincides with Regan’s eyes opening…

Regan is getting an EKG test. And just as the readings suddenly begin to spike, Regan’s eyes open…because of what is just beginning, something that will end with Postictal Wandering, a particular type of poriomania, remembering to remember the odd behaviors in between. I think that it is a most unlikely character in the film who brought The Face to life. And it wasn’t Regan. In between the two doctor’s office scenes a lot happens, including Chris’s Most Important Party.

So when do things begin to go wrong? The answer seems obvious…

One could call this scene by many names…such as…Daddy Doesn’t Give a Shit About Regan Scene. To be fair to Howard MacNeil, we could also call this the…Mommy’s Bitching About Daddy Again Scene. There’s always 2 sides to every sword! Or is it…two edges to every story? Now I will call attention briefly to what appears to be a ring on Regan’s right hand. It is a ring, but it is also not a ring. Actually…it’s a ring with something extra! I will be discussing this strange piece of jewelry in a subsequent essay. But I will say here that this item has been present with Regan from her first appearance in the film.

Here’s a screenshot that shows exactly what I’m talking about…

I’m sure that Linda Blair spent a lot of time practicing her Sleight of Hand…now it’s here and now it’s…somewhere. Still, Regan overhears her mother not actually bitching at Howard. No…when Howard isn’t around to bitch at, then the operator will do just fine. Regan does appear to be distraught over what she is hearing, although just exactly what she was upset about may well not be what it is usually held to be. And we don’t know exactly how she really felt about her father. She told Dopey Doctor about the separation. She crafted Captain Howard Howdy as the spitting image of an Attic Box Bird. There was even a very strange recording that she and Mommy made that was intended for him…or the operator. This ended up in the hands of Father Karras and His Magic Tape Recorder. I will take a chance and state my very strange opinion on this. No, not the poor operator. Regan cared very much for her father, as long as he was in Europe and stayed there. She did not want him back in Washington D.C., Los Angeles, or even…Iraq in 700 B.C. That said, the last thing she wanted to see was her parents get a divorce. Married…but apart…that was the best thing for everyone…or so she thought. At least for her. That was the status quo…and the one she craved most. It was an impossible status quo to maintain, and it left Regan under considerable mental and emotional stress. And heaven help anyone who threatened that status quo…even though they had no intention to do so, or didn’t even know they were.

There’s no denying that this event was deeply troubling to Regan…

…even I will admit that. But again…she may well be upset for a different reason that many think. I would propose that Regan believed that what she feared most was now in the offing…a divorce. And that was the thing that would lead to the end of Regan’s Desired Status Quo. Why? If mommy gets divorced, then surely she will go and get another…

Ok, you two, here you go…

Where was I? Oh, yes…if mommy and daddy divorce, then mommy will look for a new husband. That might get her hungry for pizza again. So I think that a little kid who already felt a lot of emotional stress, something that Chris and the others were completely unaware of, would experience a considerable increase in the stress she’s under already. We all know that high stress levels weaken the immune system and leave one susceptible to colds and flus. Does spiritual stress leave you susceptible to demon-possession? Wait…that’s right, Chris and Regan have no religious beliefs. But isn’t the belief in witch-doctors a sort of religious belief?

What I was going to say that if dad and mom get divorced, mom will go looking for another husband.

This is either the day of, or the day after, Regan’s 12th birthday. Chris is hollering at the operator because she is unable to get through to the luxury hotel where Captain Howdy is staying. Needless to say, she is somewhat angry at the fact that Howard did not call Regan on her birthday and so this scene is probably set the day after Regan’s birthday. For many commentators, the emotional trauma of her father’s apparent lack of any interest in Regan, coupled with overhearing her mother’s angry declaration that he didn’t call Regan because he didn’t give a shit, begins the descent into serious trouble. Still, we meet the first indications, or so it is believed, of Trouble for Toots, during the scene that follows. I know this will seem strange, a rare thing on this website, but I will call the scene that follows…the Blue Nightdress Scene. That is an odd name…to be sure. But it will soon become clear just why I have chosen this bizarre title.

Chris is awakened by the phone. We can see that the time is 6:35 am. Someone from the film crew has called to make sure she arrives at the set on time.

Kiddo has come into her mother’s room during night, and fallen asleep beside her. But also notice her right hand. And then she…

…instinctively pivots so as to keep her secret safe from mommy. This is the first time that we learn about anything strange with Regan…she tells her mom that she got into bed with her because…

My bed was shaking, I can’t get to sleep.

Actually, she looked like she was sleeping pretty well. Still, this is the first time we hear about Regan’s bed shaking, something that Chris will tell the doctor is an example of the sudden development of Regan lying.

And…

But there’s nothing like experiencing something yourself…

So Chris becomes a True Believer in Regan’s Shaking Bed. But we all know that the bed isn’t shaking, and I’ve tried to make it clear that Chris was a hysteric and particularly susceptible to suggestion…the flip-side female-side of Father Karras. But! In the Blue Nightdress Scene, Regan is a liar. Actually, I think that she was partly right, and partly wrong…but not a liar.

Leaving the bedroom, Chris will hear attic noises. This results in Chris’s Famous Journey into the Great…

…Up There. I have indicated in a previous essay which person I believe is the source of the Attic Noises. And getting up there and stumbling around in the dead of night is one thing. But at 6:30 am? Willie is already making breakfast, and Karl is doing something Karl-like. Getting Up There and making a racket is very risky. But she’s playing a risky game. If that certain someone noticed that Regan left her own room to sleep in Chris’s room, then she would not have to worry about waking up Stinker. So risky…yes, but chances to pursue that which Avaricious Dreams are made of would become less and less available, now that Chris is intent on getting to the bottom of things by going to the top of them.

The Stairway to the Up There. Be careful, Chris, it might just prove to be a Hellava Fall!

Whatever. So, Meanwhile, back in Chris’s bedroom…

So kiddo hears the noises too, and Chris will embark on her strange Attic Odyssey that I have described elsewhere, and one that takes her to the very Box of Captain Howdy. Following this, at some point, Regan will be getting medical tests and, or so it might seem, things proceed along a course we all know well. There is one very serious problem with the shots that make up this scene. Perhaps this is why…

…Big Bird made a very profound statement. I will admit that it took me looking at these shots for a zillion times before noticing that one of them, indeed, is not like the others. And as it seems to be the case almost every time, I found it when I wasn’t looking for it because I didn’t know it was there when I tried to determine at just what point Regan was relieved of the burden of carrying around her Prized Piece of Jewelry. There is one shot in the sequence that couldn’t be more not like the others…

Yes! When mommy found kiddo sleeping next to her, Regan was wearing a Blue Nightdress. And mommy’s pillow cases are yellow. But after leaving the room and heading off into the Great Up There, kiddo was suddenly wearing a Pink Nightdress, and the pillow cases are now blue. So what has happened here? Well, the makers of the film may have been telling you something important if you noticed it. What is that? The scene with the Pink Nightdress and Blue Pillow Cases is completely out of sequence. To say it better…The Pink Nightdress shot has been moved from the sequence of shots where it belongs. This was a bit sneaky, I grant you, but it does tell us something very important. What is that? Well, Pink Nightdress shot actually belongs in…

…the supposedly warm and touching Pink Nightdress Scene. How important can the color of Regan’s nightdress be? Strangely enough, very important, seeing how sleepwear will provide the answer to a certain chronological question. But so much more than that! When do Regan’s troubles begin? And can the beginning of those troubles have nothing to do with any perceived supernatural phenomenon? If Regan’s problems begin before any Demonic Doings, or even the mere suggestion of them, then we may have a far different story than everyone has believed we have. I have commented on this bizarre, and purely fictional, edition of Photoplay magazine. For a movie star, Chris sure takes a bad picture. And for a Little-Girl-Who’s- As-Cute-As-A-Button, she didn’t take the best picture either…

And in this shot, the picture of Regan is blurred out, and Chris has assumed essentially the same pose as Regan…

The clearer Chris becomes, the blurrier Regan becomes, until she becomes unrecognizable. Chris makes Regan disappear. But there is something else that is interesting in these two shots. The pose of the hands is a bit odd. So I made this graphic…

The yellow arrows…arrows, not pillow cases…each point to the other. Regan points at Chris, and Chris points at Regan. Why? I’m not sure, but I hope the answer isn’t to the question…who is to blame? The following shot is also from the Hypnosis Scene. It may be a coincidence, but! Here Regan wears a Pink Nightdress and a Blue Robe. So we are back in mom’s room, only this time, we wear pink and blue!

Here is the second picture of Regan in Chris’s room. The first picture features Creepy Regan. The second picture features Sad Regan…

Here is the second picture of Regan in Chris’s room. The first picture features Creepy Regan. The second picture features Sad Regan. Importantly…

…Sad Regan falls.

Now I will have to change my opinion on a key element of this scene; my previous one was wrong, so, at least, I’m right now when I say I was wrong. As we know, the Hypnotist was looking for something specific. Unfortunately, he was looking for the wrong thing. So I wasn’t the only one who was wrong. There is a sudden change in Regan…

As Regan’s demeanor changes…

…Mom and Dopey Doctor recoil, suddenly sickened by a bad smell. In the novel, it’s Regan’s breath. I offered the alternative view that the smell was caused by a sudden bowel movement. That, alas, I now believe to be wrong. What made me reconsider my view? I finally noticed this…

There’s mom and Doctor Klein, but notice the psychologist…why is he not sickened by the foul smell? He doesn’t recoil or cover his nose…he remains where he was. Hold on…more than that?

…he actually moves closer to Regan. Close enough to get a Hellava Squeeze! So, does the psychologist lack a sense of smell? Or does he actually like the putrid odor? To both of those questions I answer…no. He smelt it just as mom and Dr. Klein had. It occurred to me that there are several elements in this scene which provide the answer to what is happening.

Several times I have expressed the view that a bedroom was not the appropriate place to perform hypnosis on a 12 year old girl. I still believe that, unless there is a compelling reason to do it there. What about the study downstairs? What about the living room? I now think there is a good answer to this question. First…the picture that suddenly fell…

The picture is actually a bit too close to the edge of the mantel. And the other items on the mantel all appear to be much heavier than the picture of Regan. What knocked the picture off the mantel? Pazuzu, surely. Maybe Humbaba…after all, he’s a giant. There was no bad smell until after the picture fell. I think the explanation is clear. A sudden gust of air, which didn’t come from Regan, suddenly hit the room. That gust of air brought the terrible smell with it. With the hypnosis going on, and everybody’s attention fixed on it, it might just be a good time for a trip Up There. Lift the hatch to the attic, and a gust of wind blew from downstairs. The psychologist didn’t pull away because it wasn’t a surprise to him…he smelled it before. When? The hypnosis session was going to be held downstairs as one might expect. But there was a backed-up pipe of some kind, or a backed-up toilet…or some such problem. So downstairs had a stinky odor, and the session was moved upstairs. The psychologist got a good whiff of it on his way in. So he knew it wasn’t coming from Regan, and being made of sterner stuff that the Two Big Babies, he knew there wasn’t any reason to pull away from Regan. It should be remembered that Dr. Klein, who is present here, and a brain specialist, made a house call as well. Don’t worry! I’m sure Chris can afford it! Since the psychologist was already at the house, they decided to hold the session upstairs. Now…I have no objection to doing so. And! Regan can be ruled not guilty of the stinky smell.

Photoplay was, to be sure, a silly gossip magazine, and not the preferred reading of girls who are one day away from being 12 years old, even if they have a bed as big as mommy’s bed! Actually, after Karras becomes involved, Regan’s bed becomes a hot issue…don’t take that the wrong way. It suddenly has the ability to change size and appearance. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Regan took an interest in this magazine because she was on the cover? Sure, but she may have been as interested in the main article as well. Big Trouble In the MacNeil Home! Oh, my! That would soon be true in the extreme. The Night Howard Walked Out. For a child, reading some essentially untrue gossip about what one might feel safe assuming could be deeply traumatic, she shows no sign that this is the case. If my reading of the Do-You-Like-Burke-Pizza Scene is correct, then what appear to be an affectionate conversation is anything but that. And, if I’m right, then Regan is not only glad that Howard is gone, she wants him to stay gone. But! She absolutely does not want her parents to divorce! This is the Unmaintainable Reganite Status Quo. Still, that is for another time, surely.

Regan, why are you reading this stuff?
Because I like it.

Now I will admit that it’s fun to read stuff you want to read, although, Young Lady, you won’t have much further to go in school before you have to read tons of stuff you don’t want to read. So Regan finds the whole thing as entertaining as her stuffed dog…which was a real, and unfortunate, dog moments before Regan got her hands on him. As it goes with horses, so too for dogs! But Regan isn’t the only one who thinks it funny. Mommy seems to enjoy it too, making this the most objectionable mother-daughter moment until Chris ends up with a much closer view of Regan than she ever wanted. It is interesting that Regan seems to have a strange condition affecting her…

…left hand. As it stands, Chris takes the magazine away, and so Regan makes a play for the little dog.

But then…a little Sleight-of-Hand! A touch of Legerdemain! Introducing! Regan the Prestidigitator…

So her left hand disappears under the covers. Not so strange…you say? Well, actually, it is. She was holding her Special Thing, and now she has slipped it under the covers to avoid mommy seeing it. But I have come dangerously close to touching on a far more complex essay I have already begun to write.

The Pink Nightdress Scene is actually set before Regan’s twelfth birthday. Regan and Chris make plans for the celebration. This is the scene where Regan supposedly expresses her fondness for Burke Dennings, telling Chris that she can bring him along, seeing how she is going to marry him. I firmly believe that something totally different, and far more diabolical, is happening in this scene than is commonly realized. It can be said that Regan did NOT have a fondness for Burke Dennings, but rather saw him as a threat to the status quo, and was simply testing her mother’s feelings for him. But most people believe that this wholesome and heart-warming scene ends with…

…a great big kiss. And surely, there are no signs of anything wrong at this point. However, in a matter of hours at most, something would begin that would lead to a sequence of events resulting in Chris’s Most Desperate Gambit. What do I mean? Well, let’s put the Pink Nightdress/Blue Pillow Cases Scene into the correct sequence. To do that, we have to pull out one shot from the wrong sequence, and complete the picture. This is a sequence of shots as the two scenes stand…

And so we have a Great Nightdress Problem on our hands. Unfortunately, the last scene featuring lovable Regan before things go wrong for her is now not that at all. So, I will do the following…

And this bit of editing will produce this…

So That-Which-Ails-Regan begins before the scene in which she listens to mommy bitching about daddy. I think that scene was not on the day of Regan’s birthday…it was the following day. Chris would have had to allow Howard to call later in the evening. When he hadn’t called by next morning, it was time to give the operator an earful. Now it is important that we not just move the visual part of the shot. Oh, no! We must move the sound as well. And so we now know that the problems started at least two days before most people believe they did. Ergo, overhearing Chris, although it was the final push into a Very Dark Place, the momentum began before it. As I said earlier, I don’t believe that the shot simply shows that Regan was scared. Well, she was, but that only added to a growing problem. One that Chris wasn’t expecting. It was at this time that Regan began speaking about her bed shaking. Initially, as noted earlier, Chris disbelieved her, and told Dr. Klein that Regan was lying about this. We will see a very real episode of this in…

…The Sow Is Mine Scene. Also…

… the Mexican Jumping Bean Regan Scene. Now I firmly believe that within the Artificial Reality, what we are seeing we are seeing through Chris’s eyes. As will soon prove true, Chris’s perceptions become grossly exaggerated. What we see…what Chris sees…does not seem to cause two doctors present in the scene to conclude that anything impossible was happening. That which Chris is seeing is, in a word, impossible…and a doctor and a brain specialist would know that. In fact, they attempt to convey that to Chris. So perhaps Chris experienced a sudden gust of…guilt. At first, she called her daughter a liar. But now, her guilt causes her to magnify the pain caused to Regan by something she originally disbelieved. So I think that far more than just a couple of days is at stake. This revised view of the matter illustrates both the increasing mental and emotional stress suffered by a 12 year old girl who placing all her bets on the continual existence of a status quo that simply couldn’t last, now she heard bizarre sounds over her room. Her catatonic-type state is one that she will experience again, and that strengthens the view that Regan’s real problem is much closer to home.

Yes, the scene seems to be a most endearing one, despite the fact that Regan is still hiding jewelry from her mother and trying to determine whether Burke Dennings is a threat to Her Status Quo, which if he is, he must surely…go. It ends with a big smooch, and tomorrow is birthday day. Except! Later that night, something rather sinister happens. Regan hears the Noises in the Attic. I would assert that she hadn’t heard them before this shot. And this kid is under tremendous mental and emotional strain already. And then…Noises that would scare any kid and a whole lot of adults as well. Add that to what she is already feeling and you have a kid under too much strain to bear. Now I will go out on a limb and add something else that is very important…I would suggest that the look on her face has the same explanation as…

This follows Regan’s rather amazing after-party visit that resulted in a threat, the sharing of Tlazy’s favorite liquid with the carpet, and then a bath. And in the bath, Regan is virtually frozen…with a vacant stare, and she seems to be totally non-responsive. This, or so I think, has the same explanation as the Pink Nightdress shot that was pulled out of the Yellow Pillow Case scene and put where it belongs. And the bathtub scene is followed by…

…a little Motherly Reassurance, and beddy-bye time. And if she takes her medicine, then Regan will be All-Better. There is only one problem…

The flickering of the lights clearly indicates that a Certain Someone, following the Up There Threat, went up into the attic to have another go at finding Regan’s Stuff. Kiddo had just fallen asleep, but the noises wake her up. I will be discussing the answer to a very important question in another essay, but I will ask…what happens when Regan is awaken suddenly from her sleep? I will return to this before long. But in the case of Bathtub Scene, the result is clear…

And! We’ve already, just before this very scene, seen what bizarre behavior results from Regan being awaken suddenly from her sleep…

Regan had been present downstairs at the party, and later went upstairs and got into bed. Mom came upstairs, and gave her a goodnight kiss and left to rejoin the festivities downstairs. It’s not long before…

A good ole Toidy Toid and Toid sing along. And guess what this does!

Where’s Tlazy when you need her? Then bath, then bed, then fall asleep, then waken up by attic noises, and then a whole lotta bed shaking. In fact, I will go so far as to say that it is a very similar pattern of events that leads to one of the most violent and disturbing scenes in the movie…the Crucifix Scene. And not wanting to get ahead of things, I will leave this strange presentation alone at this point. But if one reconstructs the Pink Nightdress by removing the shot that doesn’t belong in the Yellow Pillow Cases scene, and put it back where it goes, then it is clear that Regan’s troubles begin BEFORE the day of her birthday. And at a point when nobody believes that there is anything wrong. What follows does greatly add to her stress, but her blank, vacant stare as she lays on her bed points to something far more disturbing than a demon with bad teeth. It also provides the beginning of my series of essays that seek to identify the real cause of the Sufferings of Regan MacNeil.