Wait! I discussed Pink Floyd earlier. They put one backwards message in one song…Empty Spaces, and you now know that they put it there for the Satanic Messages Hypocrites to find! And they tell the one who finds the message where to send it…the Funny Farm. Cool graphic time!

Wow! What Diabolical Backmasking Rock Band has that on an album cover? None, that was in the Arizona Republic. And since no other band has used it, my Rock band is putting it on the cover of our next album…Natas! Natas! Natas! It’s something of a departure for us. Now! I will be providing a very thorough list of all the examples of how the Evangelicals can’t agree for two minutes what the Satanic Message in Stairway to Heaven is. Here is yet another permutation:

I imagine! Not…I can prove it! Who needs proof? And the supposed backwards lyrics are not the same as posited by other people who imagine, rather than prove. How hard can it be for you guys to agree on what you think your Cut-From-Whole-Cloth libeling of one of history’s greatest songs…one that will live on long after you are gone and remembered only by your Near and Dear? No Toolshed of Satanic Suffering? And I love how the best way to find out whether the guys making the claims are right is to go to the guys making the claims. Satanic backwards messages could just happen by accident! Wow! Alice Cooper has a sense of humor…even the Devil does! I would also point that there is a fundamental mistake in the list of the Satanic Stuff listed in the article provided above. What is that? Well…the use of the expression…the Lord. The generic reference, and go-to designation, of the Old Guy In The Sky is…God. God is not a name…the Lord…is not a name. The designation…the Lord, as it is found in English bibles, is the rendition of the name…Yahweh. Not using that name is an element of Jewish religion. It seems odd that Protestant Fundamentalists follow that convention, yet have no trouble calling Jesus…Jesus. Be that as it may, Lord is very different than God. God is a generic noun and would be used by anyone discussing the topic…Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, Agnostic, Deist, Atheist, etc. But…the Lord…is an expression of closeness to God and above all…reverence. It would be a very strange indeed to find Satanists or haters of God using a designation that connotations along these lines. How many Atheists would really say…I don’t believe in the Lord, instead of…I doubt believe in God? When people inadvertently view modern things or situations as also present in the past, they are guilty of…anachronism…placing moderns things at a point in history when they didn’t exist. A common version of that mistake would be the view that the ability to read and write, possessed by nearly everyone in our society, was that way in the past. The further back in time you go, the fewer and fewer people could read or write. When you get to the Medieval Period, then the Dark Ages, and, finally, to the Time of Christ…almost no one could read or write…just specially trained and educated individuals whose services were very expensive. Another example involves books. Early Christians did not have bibles, and there was no mass production of literary works. A Christian community would be lucky to possess a single gospel. If they had Matthew, but would also like a copy of Mark, someone would have to find another Christian community who happened to have a copy of Mark. There were no photocopiers then! You would have to hire at least two highly trained and educated guys to produce the copy by writing it out by hand. And that will take, assuming you want a copy of Mark that actually reflects the exemplar, a long time and a lot of money. Book cost a lot to make in antiquity, something well illustrated by the Gospel of Luke, which names the rich patron who financed the production of that gospel…Theophilus, who turns out to be the grandfather of Joanna, one of the three wealthy women who provided the financial backing for the activities of Christ, and a member of one of the richest families in Judea. Not being able to step outside of your box when making false accusations about Stairway to Heaven! Yes! Anachronism results when people think that all boxes are the same, wherever and whenever they existed…historically speaking. But the meaning and consequent use of words and designations are also perilous boxes! Christians are so used to referring to the God of the Old Testament by the highly reverential title…the Lord, that, being bad Steppers-Out-Of-Boxes, they don’t first, before telling their lies, ask themselves whether a devil worshiper would actually use such a churchy and deferential title as…the Lord, opposed to simply using the noun…God.

What happens to the Rock music industry if guys put fictional Satanic messages into real songs?

It’s bedeviled!

Hahahahahaha-Hahahahaha…the Devil has such an annoying laugh! Or was that Aunt Mina? Fortunately, Bob Merlis, spokesman for Warner Brothers Records, finally came along to tell us exactly who started the rumors in the first place:

Hey, Bob! Zippy not only runs the California legislature, he also runs…

Shut up! That’s not me!

I swore I wouldn’t return to the baloney about Revolution #9. But here is an excellent point that I didn’t think of:

Wow…Jefferson Starship? That’s a new one for me. None of the bands Catherine rattled off are punk rock groups. And she heard it on PTL! I will resist the urge to discuss pervert, criminal, and felon Jim Bakker. Pastor Greenwald:

A Prince Among Clerics! During the 1980s, Mr. Paranoia found the Devil in just about everything a kid could have in front of him. He teamed up with a guy named Phil Phillips: 

who wrote a book called…Turmoil in the Toolbox! Oh, dear! I goofed. He wrote Turmoil in the Toy-box. 

He also wrote:

A sad pumpkin and an evil Jack-O’Latern. Hmmm.

Dudgeons and Dragons…if you throw D&D dice into a fire, you will them scream because they have entities in them. He-man, a popular cartoon with young boys at the time, also endured Clerical attacks:

Ok. This is Crazy Cleric with a He-man action set. And he imitates the voice of the character:
 

Skel-e-to-o-o-o-o-r!

Seeking to take over the Universe! They're Evangelicals aren’t…are they?

You may remember the Thundercats! They are modeled on pagan deities. Of course, paganism and Satanism are very different things. So maybe these two should make up their mind. I bet you didn’t know how evil these Diabolical Beings are:

Smurfs! You though the Spinners were bad. Smurfs are blue, and have black lips. Why? Because the Smurfs are modeled on decaying corpses. It gets worse…Smurfs are also homosexuals…dead, decaying homosexual corpses. How do you know that Smurfs are gay? Most are male. That can be fixed! Just have Smurfette up her game:

I never noticed how hot she was!

But even worse than Gay Smurfs is:
 

Yoda! You thought he was the leader of the Jedi against the evil forces of Darth Vader and the Emperor. Oh, no! He has snakes. Now, Yoda has three fingers and three toes. So what? So what! That means…Satan!

ET was the practitioner of all manner of rites from Eastern religions…oh, and he was gay. Anyone else?

My Little Ponies…Pagan Phallic symbol. And, or so I would add, this one has leaves stuck to her bottom. A sure sign of the Devil. 

And:

Really?

I suppose it’s the Natasic Tattoos burned into their bellies. More:

Cartoons:

What is there to say? Maybe…zoinks!

Jinkies kids! We’re Satanic too! Now, in all fairness to this crazy nonsense, I would like to point out something to Greenwald and Phillips. And this is my own Scooby-Doo Conspiracy Theory. Who finds all the clues? Shaggy, Scooby, and Velma. Who catches the villain? Shaggy, Scooby, and Velma. And in case you haven’t noticed, once the caper begins, Fred and Daphne disappear and are gone for most of the episode. And you know what that means! Hanky Panky! Hey! I can play the Greenwald-Phillips game too!

City Wide Toy Alert! Action figures are coming for your children! I am curious…with Phil Phillip’s attitude toward toys, I wonder what the kids in the nursery will be able to play with?

You’re not the only one. Sometimes hearing voices doesn’t make you crazy, just 99% of the time. That’s not fair! Oh, no?

Originally, Phillips Ministries was concerned primarily with the 'turmoil going on in the toyboxes'. We were fighting for the spiritual lives of your children. Now the ministry has many facets that you may not be aware of.

With the release of the book Halloween and Satanism, we have been given a great responsibility to confront and expose Satan through speaking in public schools. Just last week, we were able to minister in two public high schools and one junior high, at the request of the school system. Many of the teenagers were involved in the occult and some of the junior high girls participated in ouija board and 'transchanneling' (sic) activities. Another girl, whose brother was a Satanist and convicted murderer, was going to be used as a virginal sacrifice to Satan himself, by her brother. We ministered to these kids and God set them free.

Let me share with you what my commitment to deal with Satanism has cost me personally, as well as what it has cost Phillips Ministry. The week before leaving to speak at these schools, our entire family (including myself) became very ill. Satan did everything possible to keep me from ministering to hundreds of teenagers.

Some of our services have been attacked by witches and Satanists. In one service, my equipment was destroyed in a freak accident, and a paint bomb was exploded, spraying red paint everywhere. It seems that every time we speak out against Satanism, Satan hits myself, my family, and the ministry- in all areas, especially financially.  (Source- Witchvox.com)

So Satan makes your family sick. He causes freak accidents? And he throws paint bombs! You’d almost think he was evil. I’m not sure…give me a few minutes to ask the voices I hear.

So, I’m sure that if Gary Greenwald showed me that Rock bands are evil…I’d believe him! Catherine Chavis said he’s got concrete proof! But Rock bands, toys, and cartoons aren’t the only Infernal Things stalking our chilcren. No! Movies were using backmasking. Yes! There is a conspiracy involving:

1. Actors
2. Directors
3. Producers
4. Camera Operators
5. Sound Engineers
6.  Editors
7. Maybe even stunt men

They are all involved in using backmasking in the movies. How do I know? Someone told me. Pastor Greenwald? No, he was too busy fantasizing about little girls’ toys. Wendell Rumpus told me. And of all movies…Porky’s was Satan’s real work. But you have to watch it backwards. If you do, you will see:

More:

Then, the light bulb went on!

Moving on…

Rock songs with backmasking about abortion…that’s a new one for me. Feel free to add whatever you want to the list of things that are supposedly muttered by the Devil backwards on Rock albums.

One person who was paraded around as the scientist of the Backmasking Hysteria was a man named William Yarroll. He was presented as a neurologist, and was associated with an organization called the Applied Potential Institute. He advised the Phil and Bob Show, and he appeared on…you guessed…PTL Network. Yarroll claimed to have found a valve at the base of the human brain. He called it the Reticular Activating System. This little doohickey edits out all unwanted information. But if sneaky Rock musicians bombard you with information in a “semi-covered form” like with backmasking, the screening procedure is bypassed. And he made a very paranoid announcement:

You have to love Ms. Wilfley! She actually used her finger, and managed to pull the records backwards, and at just the right speed that the turntable does…and heard the Satanic messages oozing from the record. That’s quite a finger.

And poor Yarroll! He received a threatening call from the Church of Satan warning him to drop his investigation. After making this threat, the guy from the Church of Satan then proceeded to tell Yarroll everything he needed to know! The Church of Satan has a pact with the Rock bands! If you do certain things for Satan, he’ll do certain things for you. Wow. This is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone mention the Church of Satan as controlling Rock musicians.  What did emerge was that Yarroll was not neurologist and had no real scientific qualifications. He later joined a ministry working with anorexic teenagers. So much for the magical little value that Rock-star-allies of the Church of Satan use to tell your kids about Satan’s Little Toolshed. And! If you do a newspaper database research investigation, you will find all kinds of references to him in 1982, but none after that year. Oh, and none before that year! I think the reason for that is clear.

The whole backmasking witch-hunt was interesting in yet another way. It’s interesting what they found, and even more interesting is what they managed not to find. In fact, it raises the question as to just where they were getting their information from. I adamantly believe that the Evangelicals who embarked on their anti-Rock crusade were not the ones who were back-spinning Rock albums in search of backwards messages. Or, what is more likely, is that they were getting their information from guys playing Rock songs backwards using a reel-to-reel tape player. So it is that I think that they were getting their information from somewhere else. When their lame presentations began, they typically started with the Beatles. And that was an easy point from which to start, since the Paul is Dead nonsense had been established among Rock fans, and had permeated the media. I have said before that the supposed clues in Beatles’ albums begin with Sgt. Pepper’s. I am unaware of any claims made about Revolver, Rubber Soul, and Help. But the drug-induced search for clues stretched across the following albums:
 

1.  1967- Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

2.  1967- Magical Mystery Tour

3.  1968- White Album

4. 1969- Yellow Submarine

5. 1969- Abbey Road

6. 1970- Let It Be

I believe that there are no backwards messages on any of these albums. And, most of the clues supposedly found in artwork and lyrics are for the most part in the mind of the seeker. However, it is possible that, later on, the Beatles played on the rumor.

This is from the cover of Abbey Road. The license…28IF, which had been interpreted as a clue…IF Paul hadn’t died, he’d be 28 years old. I don’t believe that the Beatles planted that.
 

It’s possible that they played on the rumor by making Paul very distinct…he’s barefoot. But he’s also the only one…smoking. And smoking can kill you, so…Paul is Dead! But John is the only one with his right hand in his pocket. One could go on and on. But I feel that there is no doubt that the Hunt for Clues began with Revolution #9. Now, in many presentations of the Backmasking Phenomenon, Rock critics miss the only real instance of Backmasking engineered by the Beatles in their songs that had been released by the time that all of this was going on…Rain, though I admit that some eventually caught on to this.