10,000 stones? Certainly not 10,000 Rolling Stones, although at least one young rock music fans cited in Part 19 said that he liked the Stones better than the Beatles. Nonetheless, it’s time to start stirring the pot yet again, and Wendy told me that she would like to help.

One must admit that’s she’s a very helpful little witch who…

Wendy, no! That’s Sutekh! He's been frozen like that for thousands of years! If he gets loose, he'll destroy the cosmos!

Oh, dear! The cosmos is doomed!

Oh, no Wendy! Not him, that’s worse!

Wendy! That lady’s really Lamashtu in disguise!

Well, that’s better than nothing.

It’s very true, to say the least, that there were a lot of screaming Beatles’ fans about the place…

I’m confident that the Screaming Females, which just happens to be the name of the warm-up band that Regan and I picked to tour with us, were not planted. It’s too bad that

Knock it off, you two! There are no paid members of the audience at my rallies! You’re both fired!

Still, resentment of the Beatles, that resulted from John Lennon’s comments in 1966, as noted above, was held by adults and many young people.

Wow! Only $3.50! Allow me to explain. These sweatshirts, although there were also pins and glow-in-the-dark bumper stickers, were sold as part of the Stamp Out the Beatles movement at the University of Detroit. And no, these were not sold following Lennon’s comments in 1966. This movement was active in 1964. There was also the To Hell With the Beatles campaign:

Although, the boys in the band obviously didn’t take it very seriously. A very weak justification for this was printed in the Detroit Free Press:

That ran on 2/15/1964.

Don’t be fooled. This is not an attack against a particular hair-style. It is an attack against what hair-styles represent. Men wearing their hair like the Beatles, rather than the short hair and even crew-cut styles that had been the norm, indicates that the traditional mind-set was being rejected by young people.

The geeky looking guy in the second row, second from the left. So apparently, hair was a very important thing at the University of Detroit. I guess that the Beatles went to the right place!

So the Beatles’ hairstyle was popular in Detroit, although it had to be “modified” for female fans. And who knew just how complicated hair could be? Ask Miss McVey…

It has its very own language! First, you need an interlocutor! Not, I hope…

Interlocutor of Borg! Watch out SOBS! You might get assimilated! Where was I? Then there are chigons, twists, demi-wigs, potiches, and wiglets. Hmm. I think that Nora Light is a SOBS partisan…

So Ricky Nelson is clean-cut, wholesome…and not a foreigner! But let’s hair, I mean…hear, from another hair professional:

The modified Beatle is really just a forward swept hair style that makes you weary. Being modified, it doesn’t look as ghastly as the Beatles’ Ish Kabibble style…and that’s important. You don’t want to look like Ish Kabibble:

If you did, you would also look like…

Moe Howard.

Or Patrick Troughton.

Or Prince Valiant. And the Beatles were subject to a dreadful accusation:

Back-combers! But Ringo’s no shameful John-Paul-George-esque Back-Comber! Why? He doesn’t use a comb…hah!

God gave John a guitar! I’ll bet that was one nice guitar! And John, you might want to steer clear of theological commentary. I know it’s only 1964, and at this point you only have to worry about losers with the dreaded SOBS disease and Beatle Stampers. Still, don’t mention the Passover Plot. Just listen to…

You only need religion when your old and dying. Until then, you can ponder whether there is anything immoral about dropping atom bombs on people, not crying over crackers, and for whatever reason, telling yourself that you can rot. Look! Someone is dropping a thermonuclear bomb! Oh well.

Rock stars don’t go with girls! They…did chicks, although, it can be said, it is a bit early for the Plaster Casters. Poor Ringo, he’s a 23 year old Rock star who is over-the-hill. And 30 years old is very old. Perhaps there is something to that…

What a drag it is getting old…

I hope I die before I get old…

Are those Ish Kibbible haircuts? And guess what guys, you’re old men at 30, so you better die at 29…just ask Ringo.

Now that’s cheating! It’s a good song…but you’re not allowed to live to be 64 years old! That’s like 120 in Non-Ringo Years, assuming that Peter Murphy doesn’t stamp you out first. Still, how appropriate is it that Ringo wants to own a few hairdressing businesses? He can show clients how to flip their heads in a cool, Ish Kibbible way that obviates the need for a comb or an interlocutor. Just be sure to know your wiglets, not to mention your chigons. Oh, Ringo..Back-comber!

So would you care if the Chinese were winning at Chinese Checkers? And Rock stars might have more money than their parents. Don’t curl away when S-E-X is mentioned, although you will offend Satan if he hears your refusal to curl on the subject. After all…who doesn’t fancy a nice bird? Who knew that George was an ornithologist? Riding your horse to the pub is so…gauche. It seems to me that the Beatles are lot cooler when playing music than when they’re talking.

So Beatles’ fans threw jelly beans at them? The female fans, actually described as a horde, stormed the barricades as they panted. A panting horde! It's not very lady-like to behave in such an inappropriate manner...at least when it involves the Devil's least favorite subject...S-E-X. Now if they would just emulate a proper young lady I know...

Excuse me, kiddo?

That’s more like it.

Still. Beatles Go Home! Why don’t you just go and SOBS! And as for Beethoven…when he was confronted by the Beatles, he simply…

Rolled over! Paul was thrilled about the whole thing, which says a lot, seeing how boring he finds nuclear war to be. We want Beatniks?

The Beat Generation, whose adherents were called Beatniks, were sort of the precursors to the hipsters, who eventually became hippies. The Beat Generation started as a literary movement in the 1950s featuring Jack Kerouac, William Burroughs, John Clellon Holmes, Nolan Miller, and Allen Ginsburg, among others.

The word “beat” was introduced by Herbert Huncke. It was used among criminals to indicate “beaten down,” which fit wandering, disoriented Bartlebies, also called beats, bopniks, and bugniks…among other things. The term beatnik came into use in 1958. The movement became known for its anti-materialism and liberal, anti-war sentiments. As far as the Beat authors are concerned, several became serious drug addicts, the drug of choice being amphetamine, which they obtained by breaking open Benzedrine Inhalers. These had been used for a decades by the public for all manner of ills, and were available without a prescription.

When it comes to speed…you should always abuse before June 1949. And always share your amphetamine with…

a Shirley Temple look-alike. Speed is great for kids! And for what it’s worth, there was someone else who was a long-time amphetamine abuser…

We’ve all seen the Hitler Clown Show. What you haven’t seen is that not long before he entered his metaphorical circus-ring, he was lifeless, tired, and barely able to stand up. Then his personal physician, Theodor Morell, the stinkiest man in Germany,

gave Hitler his daily Vitamultin and Pervitin…very powerful forms of amphetamine…

Morell was also a venerealogist, which is what brought him to the attention of the Fuehrer to begin with…Hitler suffered from Syphilis, which he contracted from a prostitute in Vienna back in his glorydays when he slept in gutters and got his meals at charity soup kitchens. And Syphilis ultimately can lead to Paresis of the Insane during its late-stage. That may also have been the motive behind the White Chapel Murderer’s killing of certain prostitutes he had known. Hitler was known to launch into tirades about Syphilis, which he blamed on…well…guess.  More than one person has wondered if things might have turned out differently in the 1930s and 1940s if Morell never existed, or Morell didn’t pump Hitler full of speed, or…even better…if...

Klara Hitler, wife of Alois Schicklgruber, who chose to go by the name of Hitler, had only Gustav, Ida, Otto, Edmund, and Paula. Alois’s mother was Maria Shicklgruber, and his father was…no one knows, since he was illegitimate. Hitler arranged for the SS to declare him free of Jewish blood, hoping to silence the rumor that his paternal grandfather was a Jew, identified by Hans Frank at Nuremberg as Leopold Frankenberger.

The beatniks of Beat Generation quickly became a stereotype based, in part on the appearance of Dizzy Gillespie, which included goatees, horn-rimmed glasses, berets, black turtlenecks, sandals, and bongo drums. In fact, if you wanted to be a really cool beatnik, you just sent away for the…

Everything you need to be a cool beatnik…man! Coffee cup, bear, shirt, pants, rope belt, and beatnik poems too! I decided to order a Do-It-Yourself Beatnik Kit. You are looking at, if you could see me, the first beatnik on my block! And all the kids in the neighborhood said…you look like a nerd! Well, I tried.

Who can forget Audrey Hepburn in her beatnik manifestation….

The “way-out” world of the Beats featured prominently in…

from 1959. A cheesy horror movie called A Bucket of Blood, where a deranged sculptor uses body parts to create his masterpieces…

It’s too bad that he didn’t collect body parts of saints…then he’d be pious! The movie is set against a beatnik backdrop, and strangely enough, the Beat Generation became associated in the media with violence…

If you look real closely, you will see that the lady in the poster is wearing a Pious, Relic Necklace. It was inevitable that beatniks would be associated with somewhat loose morals…

Thank Kerouac himself for a novel about a strung out, junkie prostitute…

And I dig the name of the publishing house for this…

Beelzebub Books! I’ll bet The Satan isn’t happy! I’ll bet that

I told you so, didn’t I…Fly Guy? You’re in trouble with the boss now! Still, poor Beelzebub did show a little initiative and that entrepreneurial spirit, as it were. Talk about the alphabet game! Revel, Rebel, Revolt…Renounce! What do these words have in common? The letter R! And the president told me that R is in the alphabet. And he should know…

he’s been practicing. Wait! If you look closely, I think he got it wrong. I guess

Awkward! With a little

Well, with a bit more practice, perhaps. Still, Wendy did try to help. And! Fly Guy never learns...

Ok, what is a flip-tease? Hold on a moment, I’m going to call Earling, Iowa. From stem to stern! Perhaps this is to be marketed to the Navy. All of the girls writhe, wriggle and wiggle from…from what? Oops! You can be sure that I will be talking to the proof-reader about it. Unexpurgated? Come on, guys, this is a girlie magazine…not a science journal. If it’s better than a ticket to Tahiti…does that mean that its also better than a…Ticket to Ride? Well, this essay is about the Beatles..or..was.

Um, I don’t get it…Fanny? Who names their kid that?

Murder, rape and perversity? I think those beatniks are going just a bit too far with this.

I’m telling the Devil on you! No, this fine piece of literature does not feature the Plaster Casters. Surely she doesn’t have Satan’s scrapbook.

But there were some less edgy beatnik books…

I’m not sure just how good the recipes are in this cook book…Tektonikus Publishing House doesn’t have a food literature department anymore. I’ll tell you why. Initially, we were in interested in…

We thought that was an odd name for a book, so we asked an expert…

Yuck! So now you know why we don’t have a Food Literature department. Still, if you swap out one letter, you get…

So you could buy a beatnik cook book, and a beatnik cool book…that’s way out!

Of course, once your Beat Generation makes its way into comics and cartoons, its safe to assume that its lost its edge. And that’s exactly where the Beats ended up. 

Go Man Van Gogh from Beany and Cecil…

Cool Cat…

Beatnik Olive Oil…

who appears on Popeye and in the Beatnik Cook Book! Did I forget anyone? Oh, yes…the lamest character to join the Justice League… Snapper Carr…

And let us not forget the most legendary cartoon character that may have been based on beatnik culture…

Shaggy! Although, given the appearance of the Mystery Machine, Shaggy may have more hippie in him than beatnik. Still, why was Shaggy so hungry all the time?

The munchies? You would think that!

And so I now end this…wait a minute…what? He does? He has help? One last try? Well I suppose so. I’ve received a request to end this essay on a victorious note. And since I believe that everyone deserves one last chance, here it goes…

Awesome! Look what a little help from some friends can do! So now I must admit, he’s the star of the show. Still, I’m not sure how he pulled it off. Well, maybe it was just…