It has been awhile since I have published any essays, so I must say, as your…

…friend and humble narrator…Appy-polly-loggies! Still, I think a very interesting image from a very interesting part of a very interesting book of the Bible…

Well, that’s close, I suppose. Thanks for the help, but I’ll take it from here…

This very cool image is from Danyel 5:25…I mean, Daniel 5:25, and it reads:

Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin

Numbered…numbered…weighed…divided

The scene is the great banquet held by Belshazzar, king of Babylon. During this banquet, a mysterious hand appears, and writes the fateful words on the wall…which is vandalism, something that I have come to know well, thanks to a certain someone. Belshazzar promptly loses his kingdom, as the Babylonian empire falls to Darius the Mede. Belshazzar, really Bel-Usharra-User, was the son of the king Nabonidus,

who had been a very controversial king, seeing how he put the moon god Sin at the top of the pantheon, pushing Marduk out of the way. He became rather unpopular as a result. The Persian king who toppled Belshazzar was none other than…

Cyrus II, King of Anshan, and founder of the Persian empire. And Cyrus received a resoundingly positive assessment in the Bible…

Cyrus is my anointed king.
    I take hold of his right hand.
I give him the power
    to bring nations under his control.
I help him strip kings of their power
    to go to war against him.
I break city gates open so he can go through them.
    I say to him,
I will march out ahead of you.
    I will make the mountains level.
I will break down bronze gates.
    I will cut through their heavy iron bars.
I will give you treasures that are hidden away.
    I will give you riches that are stored up in secret places.
Then you will know that I am the Lord.
    I am the God of Israel.
    I am sending for you by name.
Cyrus, I am sending for you by name.
    I am doing it for the good of the family of Jacob.
 

Darius...

...was actually the third king of the Persian empire, who assassinated Cambyses II, son of Cyrus II, and then seized the throne. It was Darius who started the, ultimately, disastrous war against the Greeks. The Macedonian king Phillip built a powerful coalition of Greek City-States to take the war to the Persians. When he died, his son Alexander the Great assumed control and launched the effort to topple the Persian empire. So Darius the Mede is wrong. But if the writing on the wall is written in a book, then in a strange way, books and walls are, esoterically, the same thing. And so it is that I briefly turn to one of the most controversial book-walls of history.

Everyone has seen this picture! It is the great pyramid of Giza, one of the most amazing feats of human engineering. Its original height was 481 feet tall. And it remained the tallest man-made structure until 1300 AD, when man built the…

The Lincoln Cathedral, also called the Cathedral of St. Mary, which comes in at a whopping 525 feet at the highest spire. If one were to accept the current consensus as to when the Great Pyramid of Giza was built, then that pyramid remained the tallest man-made structure for 3,800 years. It took humankind 3,800 years to build something taller than the Great Pyramid. Still, here is an easy question…how many sides does a pyramid have? That’s easy! Four, of course. Perhaps a regular pyramid…but not the Great Pyramid of Giza!

Each of the four sides is concave, meaning it indents along the central lines…so it actually has eight sides. Why? I will return to that later. What is far more worthy of contemplation is that it is only possible to see the eight sides from overhead…meaning you could only see this from the air. What an amazing feat for people so far back in the dim recesses of human history to build a massive structure on this scale and do it without the benefit of Pharaoh’s engineers buzzing around overhead in an airplane. This implies an unparalleled engineering skill that, it would seem, people simply couldn’t have had that far back in history. No matter how you look at the pyramid from the ground, you can not see the concavity of the four sides, and therefore, you will not think that it has eight sides until you fly overhead, or, a bit more disappointing, look at pictures taken by guys lucky enough to fly around over it.

Who built the Great Concave Pyramid of Giza? The answer to that question is far more perplexing than one might think. A casual observer might think that one of the greatest feats of human engineering would have been claimed by its builder. And that is strange. The walls inside the Great Concavity are devoid of any artwork of any kind, there is not even a…I built this thing! For the most part. And an even more perplexing question is…what purpose did it serve? As to the builder, it was the Father of History, Herodotus, who, having gone to Egypt to spend time with Egyptian priests, learned that the builder was a king that he called…
 

Down to the time when Rhampsinitos was king, they told me there was in Egypt nothing but orderly rule, and Egypt prospered greatly; but after him Cheops became king over them and brought them to every kind of evil: for he shut up all the temples, and having first kept them from sacrificing there, he then bade all the Egyptians work for him.

So Herodotus said that Cheops built the great pyramid. And it didn’t go over well, seeing how he forced the poor Egyptians, not Israelites, to do all the grunt work. Egyptology decided that Cheops was…

Khufu. Here’s another image of Khufu Cheops…

I’m no expert on statuary, and the little graffiti-rat did ruin the inside of my Fine Art gallery. But looking at the statues made by other peoples, such as the Greeks, thousands of years later, I am impressed by how unimpressive and poor the workmanship of the statues of Khufu really are. If you could build the tallest structure in the world for 3,800 years, and you could make each of four sides concave, something that took an overhead view to see…I would think that you could make better statues. Or, as it turns out, statuettes (see part 2).

These are statues of King Ramses II, and you can see the tourists milling around between them, which works well, since it provides an excellent visual clue as to how big these guys are. Egyptian chronology is not certain, and so there are different Chronologies: short, middle, and long, and dates vary considerably between them. But if we take a date for the reign of Ramses II such as 1279–1213 BC, and then take a date for the reign of Khufu of 2589–2566 BC, it seems strange that you could build the Great Concave Pyramid, yet make crappy statues. Considering the immense self-aggrandizement to be found with the kings of ancient Egypt, I would have thought that Khufu would have no trouble littering Egypt with gigantic statues of himself, and of such quality that it would take 3,800 years to make a statue as good as his statues. I think that it is a consideration worth considering, especially given my belief that Khufu had nothing to do with the building of the Great Pyramid. He built this giant structure, leaving no Ramses II-esque statues behind, without calling attention to himself as the builder, and didn’t even bother to decorate the thing on the inside? What was it for? The typical answer is that the Great Pyramid was Khufu’s tomb. The effort to build it would be so enormous that humans wouldn’t top it for 3,800 years, and it was an unadorned giant coffin for a guy who thought himself so important to build this massive structure, and to build it so tall that all who would see it, to this very day, are absolutely amazed by it, yet he didn’t even put his name on it? Well, I will get to the Great Cartouche in a minute. What a strange thing that is for the tomb of History’s Greatest Megalomaniac and Worshiper of Himself. Yet he chose to remain…anonymous? Sorry, it doesn’t add it up. And if it was a tomb, why not decorate it? This is your tomb, of such a massive scale, yet you leave the walls bare? Nothing inside…not a trace…that you built it…that you, the Ultimate God-King, is buried there. Who’s buried in Grant’s tomb? Hah! Who’s buried in Khufu’s tomb? No one. Of all the mummies found in tombs throughout Egypt…the tomb of Khufu was empty. There was no sign of the man. And so there was nothing to find in the Greatest Engineering Feat of Human History…except bare walls, and not even a dead body. Seems like a whole lot of work for…nothing.

That is the sarcophagus found in what is usually called…the King’s Chamber. The burial chamber. The coffer is made from a single block of solid granite, and so the engineers had to drill out the core. Sarcophagus? This was no sarcophagus. How can one know that? I would point out two key pieces of evidence that others have noted that I find particularly telling:

1.  The Granite Box is 7.47 feet long on the outside, but only 6.49 feet long on the inside. This is important because, although an Egyptian adult male could lie down inside of it, he couldn’t do so if he were wearing an Egyptian burial mask and the full regalia that an Egyptian king would have been wearing when he was interred. And if the king’s body was encased in a Mummy Case, then it becomes even more impossible for him to have been put into the granite box. That would indicate that the builder of the Great Pyramid, if the coffer were a sarcophagus, would have been tossed into it without any of the burial regalia of an Egyptian king. This guy built the most impressive of all man-made structures for a tomb, and then was buried like a commoner? Really?

2.  The sarcophagus of an Egyptian king was typically decorated ornately on the outside. Most, but not all. Even so, with the mind-boggling expense of building the Great Pyramid, if it were a tomb, one would expect some pretty stunning decoration on the outside of the coffer.

Now the coffer in the pyramid of Khufu is without ornamentation as well, but so too is that found in the pyramid usually attributed to Khufu’s successor, Khafre:

A little more impressive. Still, I think that there is a good explanation for why this one is also devoid of ornamentation.

And one must add to this the fact that there is absolutely no ornamentation on the walls of the burial chamber:

The main burial chamber in the pyramid of Khafre, if he built that structure, is also devoid of ornamentation; see below where it is suggested that this pyramid may actually be that of Khufu. But if Khufu did what is suggested below, he may have built his own pyramid in imitation of the Pyramid of Isis. In the Great Pyramid something is missing, besides any kind of expected ornamentation…the lid. I get plundering a tomb for precious things. But who carried off what would have been an amazingly heavy lid? And why? That would be a momentous amount of work to take possession of something you probably would have got only a few bucks for at the local pawn shop…

There was only one way out. Look at how far you would have to haul a giant lid made of granite. Of course, there is no trace of the lid, which leads me to suspect that there never was a lid. That’s fine, if the coffer was never a sarcophagus.

The technology that went into making the coffer is simply far too advanced for the time of Khufu…the guy with unimpressive statues. Actually, it is incredibly advanced by today’s standards. It is comprised of a single block of granite. Hollowed out, of course. But how did they do that? Well, the inside of the coffer has spiral markings in the surface of the granite. Spiral? Yes, it was hollowed out by drilling. As everyone knows, granite is a very hard stone material. Extremely hard, and apparently very large drill bits would have been required, possibly diamond-tipped, with an estimated 1-2 tons of overhead pressure on the drill. These comments were made about the drilling by a commentator on the internet… 

"The spiral of the cut sinks .100 inch in the circumference of 6 inches, or 1 in 60, a rate of ploughing out of the quartz and feldspar which is astonishing."

After reading this, I had to agree with Petrie. This was an incredible feed-rate for drilling into any material, let alone granite. I was completely confounded as to how a drill could achieve this feed-rate. Petrie was so astounded by these artifacts that he attempted to explain them at three different points in one chapter. To an engineer in the 1880’s, what Petrie was looking at was an anomaly. The characteristics of the holes, the cores that came out of them, and the tool marks indicated an impossibility. Three distinct characteristics of the hole and core make the artifacts extremely remarkable. They are...

1. A taper on both the hole and the core.

2. A symmetrical helical groove following these tapers which showed that the drill advanced into the granite at a feed rate of .100 inch per revolution of the drill.

3. The confounding fact that the spiral groove cut deeper through the quartz than through the softer feldspar. In conventional machining the reverse would be the case.

Mr. Donald Rahn of Rahn Granite Surface Plate Co., Dayton, Ohio, told me, in 1983, that in drilling granite, diamond drills, rotating at 900 revolutions per minute, penetrate at the rate of 1 inch in 5 minutes. This works out to be .0002 inch per revolution, meaning that the ancient Egyptians were able to cut their granite with a feed rate that was 500 times greater.
 

Of course, Khufu didn’t have diamond-tipped drills that turned at 900 revolutions per minute or could cut through granite with such a high feed-rate. What all of this comes down to is that it should have been utterly impossible for the ancient Egyptians to make this coffer, much less the pyramid itself. Yet it wasn’t. Though I will qualify that later. And no…not aliens, giants, or some such thing of science fiction. There clearly was a culture that was capable of doing what we know they did. I would maintain that the enormous amount of fantastic work that went into building the pyramid and what is called a “coffer” would have been done for something far more important than a tomb. Much more important. Yet at the same time, I think that one strange possibility, something that I’m not normally given to contemplating, is that this structure, being so much more important than a tomb, and having a purely utilitarian purpose, was not meant to last…it was disposable…it had a quantifiable purpose, and that once that purpose had been served, the pyramid was no longer important. In fact, it would have disappeared. That being so, one can see why it would have been a total waste of time to decorate it.

As noted above, Herodotus said that Egyptian priests told him that the builder was Cheops, known to us with the goofy-sounding name…Khufu. But where was the proof? The entire inside is devoid of ornamentation or art of any kind. The Granite Box had no ornamentation of any kind, and even the so-called King’s Chamber…the walls were totally blank. All of this was well-known, and ever since European so-called archaeologists and Egyptologists began poking around on the inside of it. So if someone in 1837 wanted to make himself, not only popular with his financiers frustrated by the lack of someone’s important discoveries, but also famous for ever and ever, he would have to find something really cool. If we are talking about the Great Not-Khufu, then you would have to find it somewhere in the pyramid that no one had ever seen up to 1837. And that’s what Howard Vyse did, a bungler who used dynamite to blast his way through Egyptian monuments…and that says a lot. I can’t accept that real archaeologists go about their work by blasting their way through an archaeological site. No, treasure hunters would do this. In the case of Vyse, the treasure in question was not gold and silver doo-dads…it was to be a name.

This is the cartouche, basically an oval with a name in it, that was found by Vyse. It appears on the ceiling and was found in one of several stress-relieving chambers above the King’s Chamber. He was the first one to discover all but one of them, and he conveniently found the evidence that Khufu, Herodotus’s Cheops, built the Great Pyramid. The cartouche is drawn in red ochre paint, and other such markings were found. The are often called…quarry marks, and are described as markings left behind by crews working on the pyramid. And that is strange in the extreme. No such markings are found anywhere else in the pyramid; even the King’s Chamber is devoid of the builder’s name. And of all people, history is indebted to some workmen who took the time during their lunch break to paint Khufu’s name where it would never be seen until Vyse managed to discover the chamber.

No Egyptian cartouche is more controversial than this one. However, it has been maintained that the cartouche shown above is either not the cartouche seen by Vyse, or is the one found by…

 
…the Great Dynomitic Egyptologist, but has been altered. Strange, but worthy of discussion. Here is a drawing of the cartouche…

Much of the controversy has to do with the circle at the end…which is called a sieve. As is clear, it has three horizontal lines within it.

The problem is that when Vyse, the Great Epiphanius-like Vandalizer of Egyptian Monuments, drew a picture of the cartouche in his notebook, the sieve was different…

As found at RickRichards.com, the sieve in Vyse’s notebook does not contain three horizontal lines. It appears that the sieve contains a badly made dot. The same website presents it as…

A dot would be a misspelling. The sieve with three horizontal lines is necessary to produce the “kh” at the beginning of Khufu. A dot would be a solar disk, indicating “Ra.” In 1828, A scholar named John Gardner Wilkinson published Materia Hieroglyphica, which included the solar-disk varieties for the name Khufu, deemed by some to be a spelling error. One then ends up with the name…Raufu. Based on the photo on the right, it has been noted that the two don’t match, and that someone, realizing that the name appears as Raufu, rather than Khufu, then painted three horizontal lines within the sieve, albeit leaving the traces of the dot over which the lines were added. Thus Vyse, desperate for a dramatic discovery, forged the cartouche for Khufu in the chamber. Yet there is also the name…

Khnum-Khufu, said to be the full name of Khufu. Now I have to say that I don’t know what exactly Vyse said he saw, but it is highly convenient that he was the one to make such a vital discovery, and that it occurred in a chamber that he discovered…i.e., to find such a thing, one would have find an area in the pyramid that no one else had. And if the name he found was Khufu, it seems remarkably strange that Khufu built the pyramid, but put his name nowhere on or in it. And! His statuette is problematic here as well. Workmen provided the key piece of evidence, which may, or may not, have been spelled incorrectly.

But if the name was, and is, Khufu, then that means that Khufu actually built the pyramid…yes? Not necessarily…

…the Inventory Stela. No more controversial artifact has been discovered. And here’s a riddle…how do we know that Vyse didn’t discover the Inventory Stela? It was discovered without…

Hah! The Inventory Stela was found in 1858 near the Sphinx during the excavations of the Temple of Isis. It lists 22 statues owned by the Temple of Isis. It says…

Long live The King of Upper and Lower Egypt, Khufu, given life!

He found the house of Isis, Mistress of the Pyramid, by the side of the hollow of Hwran (The Sphinx) and he built his pyramid beside the temple of this goddess and he built a pyramid for the King's daughter Henutsen beside this temple. The place of Hwran Horemakhet is on the South side of the House of Isis, Mistress of the pyramid.

He restored the statue, all covered in painting, of the guardian of the atmosphere, who guides the winds with his gaze. He replaced the back part of the Nemes head-dress, which was missing with gilded stone. The figure of this god, cut in stone, is solid and will last to eternity, keeping its face looking always to the East.

Ok, this is a picture of the pyramids at Giza…

So the Inventory Stela states that Isis was the Mistress of the Pyramid. It references the House of Isis, the Pyramid that Isis is Mistress of, then a pyramid that Khufu built, and one for his daughter. And the sphinx? History suggests that it was built by Khafra, son of Khufu. But it is clear that…

...the head of the sphinx is not original to it. It would appear that the original head was replaced with the head of some king, and it takes just a few moments looking at it to realize that the head is not in proportion to the body. But the Inventory Stela claims that the Sphinx already existed at the time of Khufu, and that it was in need of repair when Khufu was ruler. So too, the House of Isis existed before Khufu. And one might just wonder whether the largest of the Giza pyramids, i.e. the one built by…

…well, something like that, was actually regarded by Roofoo as belonging to Isis, since, clearly, the House of Isis, would not be the same as the Pyramid of Isis. That would suggest that of the three primary pyramids of Giza, one belonged to Isis, one belonged to Khufu, and one belonged to Khufu’s beloved daughter…

Henutsen. Egyptologists state that she was the wife of Khufu. Herodotus, on the other hand, seems to support the claim made by the Inventory Stela, that she was Khufu’s daughter. And she is assigned a pyramid at Giza by modern scholars…

What? A mere pile of rocks? I would think that she might be deserving of something better. Could it be that the 3 main pyramids belonged to Isis, Khufu, and Henutsen? Of course, all kinds of machinations with the pyramids may have taken place. It could be that Khafre moved Henutsen’s body to the Pile of Rocks, and took her pyramid. And we know that someone had replaced the original head of the Sphinx with his own head, which one is tempted to attribute to Khufu, given how badly it was done, and came out looking only a bit worse than his statues did. Actually, Khufu was said to have fixed a dilapidated Sphinx, and while doing so, fixed the head-dress, indicating that the Great Vandalizer of the Sphinx reigned long before Khufu. So too the Great Pyramid…did that need repair? The stela states that Khufu found the House of Isis, indicating that it already existed and, most importantly, that by Khufu’s day, the purpose of it was no longer known. When he began repairing the Sphinx, he also found the House of Isis, which presumably, he repaired. The Great Pyramid, he believed, belonged to Isis, suggesting that by Khufu’s day, the Great Pyramid was regarded to have been an ancient temple of Isis. If he carried out repairs on the Sphinx and the recently discovered House of Isis, could he not have carried out repair work on the Pyramid of Isis? If so, then one might understand how his name appears nowhere in it…officially, that is, and as far as he knew, seeing how he didn’t know that his work crews scribbled his cartouche in the To-Be-Found-Only-By-Vyse Relieving Chamber during a smoke break. And if they spelled the king’s name wrong…Rauphu, then it’s a darn good thing that Khufu didn’t know about it! If Khufu believed that the Pyramid of Isis was a temple, then he was dead wrong. After all, she had her House nearby. I believe, for the moment at any rate, that the Great Pyramid was so old that by Khufu’s reign, nobody knew any longer what it really was. It must belong to Isis, or so Khufu thought. And so Khufu’s name, twice, appears in the pyramid, scribbled there by work crews, who knew not to put his name anywhere that it might be seen, since the structure really belonged to Isis, and Khufu was too pious to simply slap his name on it. And as for machinations, if Khufu were buried in what is now regarded as Khafre’s pyramid, then Khafre may have moved Khufu’s body and claimed it for himself.

And I would note one other thing in favor of the conclusion that the Isis Pyramid was not a tomb. According to two ancient historians, a very odd thing happened…Khufu was not buried in it…

This Cheops, the Egyptians said, reigned fifty years; and after he was dead his brother Chephren succeeded to the kingdom. This king followed the same manner as the other, both in all the rest and also in that he made a pyramid, not indeed attaining to the measurements of that which was built by the former (this I know, having myself also measured it), and moreover there are no underground chambers beneath nor does a channel come from the Nile flowing to this one as to the other, in which the water coming through a conduit built for it flows round an island within, where they say that Cheops himself is laid.

That is from Herodotus 2: 127. In Diodorus Siculus 1:64, Khufu, called Chemmis, and Cephren weren’t buried in the pyramids…

Upon the death of this king his brother Cephren succeeded to the throne and ruled fifty-six years; but some say that it was not the brother of Chemmis, but his son, named Chabryes, who took the throne. All writers, however, agree that it was the next ruler who, emulating the example of his predecessor, built the second pyramid, which was the equal of the one just mentioned in the skill displayed in its execution but far behind it in size, since its base length on each side is only a stade. And an inscription on the larger pyramid gives the sum of money expended on it, since the writing sets forth that on vegetables and purgatives for the workmen there were paid out over sixteen hundred talents. The smaller bears no inscription but has steps cut into one side. And though the two kings built the pyramids to serve as their tombs, in the event neither of them was buried in them; for the multitudes, because of the hardships which they had endured in the building of them and the many cruel and violent acts of these kings, were filled with anger against those who had caused their sufferings and openly threatened to tear their bodies asunder and cast them, out of spite, out of the tombs. Consequently, each ruler, upon dying, ordered his family to bury his body secretly in an unmarked place.

What a bizarre situation…Khufu and Khafre build these amazing structures for tombs, and then weren’t buried in them? The best explanation is that, at least in the case of Khufu’s Isis Pyramid, it never was a tomb, and so Khufu-Khnem-Khufu-Raufu-Khnem-Raufu, take your pick, wasn’t buried there because no one was buried there. The claim about the second pyramid may simply be due to a misunderstanding that the circumstances applicable to the Khufu pyramid were applicable to the Khafre pyramid, which was really Khufu’s pyramid, but in imitating the design of Isis Pyramid, he built something that didn’t look like a tomb either.

It is by no means certain that the name Khnum-khufu and Khufu are the same name. If not, then the names of two different Egyptian kings appear in the Great Pyramid. And claims that various names have been found in the Great Pyramid including Noh-Suphis, Saufou, Shoufou, Seneshoufou. If this is true, then clearly various people made these entries on the walls. And I earlier said that it was very convenient that Vyse found his cartouche in a chamber that no one else had seen. A further observation should be made…

The first relieving chamber is known as Davison’s Chamber. That chamber was discovered by Nathaniel Davison in 1765, whereas the other chambers were discovered by Vyse in 1837. Guess what is missing from Davison’s chamber? That’s right! No cartouches or inscriptions. So it would appear that the work crews with enough time on their hands to spend it doodling on the walls, or doodling on the stone blocks at the quarry, decided not to doodle on the walls of Davison’s Chamber since, it would seem, that Vyse wouldn’t be the guy to discover that one, and our ancient Egyptian stone-workers were intent on leaving doodles only in chambers to be discovered by Vyse. And of course, we’ll have to assume that the work crews were literate enough and possessing enough inside information to even be able to write the name of the king at all, without misspelling at any rate. Wait…who? It’s not like he’s got a long name…how hard can it be to spell…Khufu?

The thing that I find remarkable in the pictures of the inside of the chamber with the cartouche is something that is most remarkable indeed. I have seen dozens of pictures, and all are either linked to discussing a stupid stunt by some idiot Germans or endless arguing about the cartouches. But what everyone seems to ignore is the all the other crap on the walls. I have pulled some pictures from the internet. I am dumbfounded that the inside of this chamber looks like a wall in the Bronx, and no one seems the slightest bit interested in that.

And:

Who cares about the cartouche? Really…who cares? Here’s my question… who is G. MacLean Gordons? The name is painted on the ceiling, next to the cartouche. It appears that this person spray painted on the ceiling in either August 1948, or in August of 1968. Yet discussions of the chamber completely ignore it.

This is my favorite! 

Who is Sister MT. Martin? Is she a nun with a can of spray paint? Who is C.J.H? And are the two in competition as to which one was the first lady to investigate the tomb? June 2, 1915? Or June 2, 2015? Actually, the date is June 2, 1915. And meet Sister Mary Theresa Martin…nun and graffiti rat…

Here she is (seated) with her clique, who left their gang mark in the relieving chamber. Thug life!

This one is especially good…

Wait a minute…I know! The Great Pyramid is really located in downtown Detroit! So you could walk around up in the relieving chamber, but be careful not to trip over empty Budweiser bottles. And if you are in a gang, pay close attention to the vast quantities of street-scrawl! You wouldn’t want to wander into another gang’s turf. Then you’d have to fight or…

…well, I guess that’ll work too.

Let’s double back…

Notice how fascinating this is. G. Maclean Gordons painted on the ceiling all the way up to the phony cartouche, and despite the fact that he…or she…was helping to…wait! Let me say for the record that if this were regarded to be an archaeological site, or indeed, even a crime-scene, it is so hopelessly corrupted that nothing in it can be given any validity. So I wonder why Gordons stopped inches from the cartouche? I think that one possible answer is that…in August 1948, the red cartouche wasn’t there. It was painted on the ceiling after August 1948, on the first part of the ceiling that was devoid of graffiti as the person moved eastward through the chamber. And! He actually found space on the ceiling to paint his own graffiti. Who did it? Some have taken the fact that the entire cartouche isn’t showing, i.e. look at the bottom, to indicate that it is so old that subsequent shifting of the structure has obscured it. Really? How about this…the guy who thought he was clever, who knew that the pyramid was supposed to have been built by Khufu, and knew about Vyse’s supposed discovery of a Khufu cartouche, so he looked up in a book about Khufu what his cartouche looked like. When he got Up There…and it almost seems as though everyone in the world has been Up There, he moved eastward through the chamber hoping to find two inches of ceiling that hadn’t been vandalized. Then he found it…post-August 1948, and was thrilled to find so a bit of ceiling without anyone else’s contribution to one the worst vandalized walls in the ancient world, and probably pulling out a drawing he made from his book, or a photocopy, depending, of course, on whether, chronologically speaking, he was on this side or the other side of the invention of the Xerox photocopier, he then began his own graffiti. But! He wasn’t very bright. He began the oval of the cartouche from the top, and didn’t round the oval before he hit the wall. That is the best explanation for what is a forgery…not Vyse’s forgery…some later guy’s forgery. That wasn’t the only mistake, though it is a stupid one, that he made. His other mistake was to begin his phony cartouche inches from the slightly less stupid contribution of Gordons. In other words, the walls are apparently so covered in scrawl, that as he moved eastward past the Giza Pyramid of Downtown Chicago, he began his work at the first, and seemingly only, part of the ceiling that wasn’t already covered. The result is, if one were to believe that the cartouche predates August 1948, then the world, history, and the entire human race owes a tremendous gratitude to Gordons, seeing how he was considerate to stop his badly executed graffiti just shy of the cartouche that supposedly proves that the guy WHO DID NOT BUILD THE PYRAMID actually built the pyramid. But rather than an academic’s forgery to keep alive the belief that the PYRAMID THAT IS NOT A TOMB is actually a tomb. I can see him now…with a lamp of some kind, holding up his…

Don’t tear pages out of library books! Yes, he held up the page torn from A Dummy’s Guide to Egyptology and Instruction Book for How to Write Cartouches, and set about his graffiti. Hey! Next time trace out the oval before you use paint…that way you can make adjustments when you screw it up by not rounding the oval before you hit the wall.

The other cartouche. Yet again…the black graffiti stops just in time. Well, maybe. Between “e” and the wall-scrawl, in apparently the same paint, we see other contributors who either used a less-enduring brand of paint, or, which seems more likely, the faded bits are far older than the neatly executed forgery to the right. And notice the rather large black period. Apparently, whatever word ended in “e” was the last word in the phrase. We all know that a period ends the sentence. So the contributor whose contribution ends in “e” was going too fast and ended up making his period too far away from the “e.” And thus…right over the top of older red paint…older than the phony cartouche. None of the myriad of people who got up into this chamber would have cared in the slightest, when painting, “Kilroy was here,” about painting over anything else on the walls; the vast majority of these people would look at the phony cartouches and see them for what they are…someone else’s graffiti, and then, like the Maker of the Period, paint right over the top of them.

Here’s a contrast. This critical chamber where the only evidence that this pyramid really had anything to do with Khufu, and I don’t care what a bunch of Egyptian priests told a gullible Herodotus, is almost completely covered in this graffiti and is located, quite naturally, above the King’s Chamber…the one with the THING THAT IS NOT A COFFER AND NEVER HELD A DEAD BODY. And it seems to me that it would have been far easier to reach the King’s Chamber, then get up into the chamber’s above it. This is the King’s Chamber…

And so…what is so obviously missing? If the chamber above looks like Gangland Chicago, the King’s Chamber looks like a wall in the suburbs, one with a 24 hour a day security service. There may be signs of some graffiti, it’s hard to tell in the pictures shown above, although the following shot indicates that there is...

...although none of this graffiti shows up in the other photos. Strange. But even if there is graffiti in the King's Chamber, it is seemingly nothing like the chambers above. What a contrast! Of all the people, including Sister Mary Martin, who accessed the Graffiti Chamber through the King’s Chamber, then the overwhelming majority of the people who supposedly desecrated what is supposed to be the Up There Chamber seemed to have the slightest interest in desecrating the far more easily reached King’s Chamber, intending to take the far greater risk of getting up into the relieving chamber. Why? I suspect that although Egyptologists would find the relieving chamber the place to be because of Khufu, I seriously doubt that the myriad of people who braved the dangers to get up into it would have really cared at all. They wanted to leave their name somewhere in the pyramid out of some pathetic desire to leave their mark on the world. How did the Good Sister get up there? Did she sneak in at night, make her way through the pyramid with a lamp, get all the way up to the King’s Chamber and then get up into the Relieving Graffiti Chamber to tell the world that she was the first woman to be up there? Of course not…she was taken up there by a guide, who then watched her paint her graffiti on the wall, no doubt having been paid by her. If you had a guide who would take you up there, you would all but eliminate the risk of falling to the floor below and perhaps actually being the first dead body tossed into the Granite Not Coffer. Perhaps the guide might hype getting up into the Mysterious of the Mysterious and leaving your name on a building that will still be standing when all life on this planet finally ceases to exist…except for cockroaches. In other words, you bilk stupid tourists to pay you a bunch of money to reach the Up There because you offered to take them Up There to begin with. The condition of the walls in the King’s Chamber vs. those in the chambers that Khufu’s morons who couldn’t round an oval before hitting the wall decided, for some unknown reason, perhaps on their lunch break said…Hey! Let’s write Khufu’s name on the wall…suggests that it cost a lot more money to get a guide to get you up into the Great Up There than the more legitimate guides standing around in the King’s Chamber who probably wouldn’t let you paint on the walls. So why would these bored Supposedly Ancient Workmen say…let’s write Khufu’s name on the ceiling, and then also say…sure! Sounds cool! After all, we work for him. But what would be even cooler, while drinking your bottle of Bud and smoking your Marlborough would be to say…let’s write his name as Khufu one time, and then write his name as Khnem-Khufu the second time. Unless, of course, they’re iliterate, then they can’t write anything. Or, depending upon a sieve with a dot in it or a sieve with three horizontal lines in it, spelled out the names Raufu and Khnem-Raufu. Then they’ve got it out of their system. If I were among them, I would say…Let’s paint..Khufu’s mother wears combat boots…Up There! After all, he’ll never know. No one will ever know…well, until Sister Mary Martin gets up there.